Imponderable Questions: Sunday Funnies

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

If I raise the volume on my radio, does it use more electricity?

If Sunday is the holy day of rest why do we have to get up early for church?

If you could walk through the walls, wouldn’t you fall through the floor?

What would happen if you put a humidifier and a dehumidifier in the same room?

Why do black olives come in cans and green olives come in jars?

Do sheep get static cling when they rub against one another?

On a telephone, why does ABC start on the number 2 and not 1?

Do birds pee?

Why are things typed up but written down?

Why do British people never sound British when they sing?

If the professor on Gilligan’s Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can’t he fix a hole in a boat?

Why doesn’t a chicken egg taste like chicken?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They’re both dogs!

Why do hotdogs come in packs of 8 when hotdog rolls come in packs of 10?

Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?

Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?

If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why’s it still #2?

If the cops arrest a mime, do they have to tell him he has the right to remain silent?

Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food?

How come you can kill a deer and put it on your wall but it’s illegal to keep them as a pet?

Why does Bugs bunny walk around the cartoon naked, but puts a bathing suit on when he goes swimming?

Do elephants jump?

Source: http://www.goodquotes.com/funnythoughts.htm

Sunday Picks for Pics

Here we go again, its Sunday and here are my picks of pics.  Some are a little different, but I got over it.

I really hate it when this happens.
This crow is hungry.
Miracles sometimes hide.
The door out is not always this clear. But, it happens.

Is he using an Apple?
We are all connected.
Not me.

I have always wondered…

Speck Analysis

Why do you stare from without at the very small particle that is in your brother’s eye but do not become aware of and consider the beam of timber that is in your own eye?
Matthew 7, Amplified Bible

 

We have an incredible capacity for self-deception.  We operate on the premise that by condemning another person, we will be a more spiritual person.  I have this extreme tendency to look for issues that I can zap, point my finger at, all to build myself up inside.  This very common approach to spirituality has been identified and denounced by our Lord.

But it is so easy to do, and to be frank, so satisfying to practice.  Jesus makes it out to be absurd, almost comical in strange way.  A bit of dust becomes the center of attention; a big plank is ignored.  I think we all get the picture, and it is laughable!  Or is it?

The speck can be just about anything.  It is an irritant, but it also is small.  We know it is present, we can’t just ignore it.  The plank also can be just about anything, and a speck and a plank have considerable differences.  With our huge plank though, we can still make out that tiny particle in our neighbor’s eye. Interesting.

Jesus’ wants us to renounce this false deception, and not to let it mislead us anymore.  We cannot go around identifying evil in others–and minimize our own.  I don’t want to do this anymore, I can’t do this anymore.

Part of verse 7, tells us to “consider”.  We are being instructed to evaluate our own condition, before we take the next step of helping out another.  Know yourself first.  Measure that plank, know its dimensions, understand what you are dealing with.  And don’t be reaching out to your brother’s issue.  It may make you feel spiritual and mature, but it is also foolish and ill-advised.

Strength for the Pathetic

Jesus heals the most desperate person

“Stand up, pick up your mat, and go home!”

Mark 2

 What do you say to a crippled man lying on the sidewalk? Jesus believed the impossible would happen when He command the man to stand up. Now the majority of us disciples would’ve gathered around, found an extra blanket and a ham-and-cheese sandwich. We then would try to steer the talk around the doctrine of God’s sovereignty and assure him that God works things out for our good. Some of us would even ask him if we could pray for him.

But Jesus will have none of that. He seems blunt and forward as He commands the man to move; to stand up on his own two feet. You must understand, when Jesus commands something, He gives the strength to accomplish that command. When Jesus speaks, things happen. This was the voice that calmed the sea, this voice would raise the dead! When He spoke to this man, the creative power of the complete universe was taking control.

As he obeyed, and willed his body to stand in obedience, he was healed. We are so much like this man. When it comes to spiritual things, it seems all we can do is lie on the sidewalk. Of course, we have our familiar mat, and we’ve learned to recognize those who can give money. But we can’t move, we are completely immobile. Despair is the norm for this “existence”.

Young people are especially afflicted with fear over following Christ. They don’t think they can do it. They just don’t possess the capabilities and they know it. Others, with habits, are crippled with bondages that paralyze them. Years and years they lie in the same place and cannot move forward. This is a very real issue today.

But Jesus sees. He knows that His healing must be something that is believed into. The power is not the issue. He has unlimited strength which has no equal. He is a massive power station, and you have a 30 watt bulb!

The real issue, when its all said and done, is will you obey the Voice? The order from your creator and friend to stand up, and walk. Don’t worry about marshalling your strength, gritting your teeth, and dispelling negative thinking. It has not worked before, and it will not work now. The only thing that will work is too do exactly what He says. For many of us, we are to rise up off the sidewalk–and to walk!

“The Lord will not save those he cannot command.”  A.W. Tozer