I have been ill for a long time. My hepatitis has been aggravated the last three months. My depression has been a bit better, but it seems to linger like an unwelcome guest. Recovery from the effects from my brain tumor has stalled. And I suppose I could go on, but I won’t.
I’m mindful that I was very aware of hypochondriacs before this recent spate with a medical issues. I was pretty much annoyed by these complainers, they seemed to always be talking about themselves. Their self-absorption with problems and complaints was an irritant for me.
Until it happens to you. Lots of times there can be a domino effect, with illness following illness. The doctors call this “kindling.” There can be an overwhelming co-occurance. Things can move down hill fairly fast. And many conditions can overlap.
I have not shared with you about my struggles with night terrors and nightmares, my issues with anxiety/panic. But right on the top is a constant battle with tinnitus. I’m a bit torn about even mentioning them even now. (If I’m offending you, I ask that you forgive me.)
Maintaining a spiritual discipleship is an obvious challenge. Having something even resembling a living faith is pretty hard. Three things have helped me. These three doesn’t mean that there aren’t others, its just these are the boiled-down essentials.
Things will often turn from bitter to sweet in just a moment. I think of Jesus turning plain, basic water into a delicious and succulent wine. When he shows up, everything changes– I change. I need him, his presence isn’t an “option.”
2) The Word–
Sometimes a just a phrase, a perceived inflection on the words. Simple verses, rolling through my heart and thinking creates hope, and recharges me through one more day. I realize that these are our promises, for me to call my own. My enemy who hates me, is afraid when I start reading it.
3) Serving Others–
I can easily paralyze myself with the awful venom of selfishness. Self-absorbed faith will kill me. Actually, brokenbelievers.com has been a way for me to recover, from the cozy confines of our loft here in Alaska– on a beat up old laptop. It has been a necessary thing.
Each of the three listed above work better when you mix and match them. Take prayer and combine with the Word and they will strengthen each other. Sort of a synergy happens, and things will come together for you, for one more day. And that is just how it seems to work.