Broken Believers

17 Comments

1. 

   Lissy · April 13, 2012 - 6:39 pm · Reply→

   Four things in common. They’re US only. And in the UK we don’t have that support. Christianity surely shouldn’t be cut off by those boundaries.

2. 

   lahlem · March 26, 2012 - 12:18 am · Reply→

   I’m going to make a difference about the fact that there is no support for suicidal christians. I’m going to push through all this horror I’m trapped in, and I know that God’s going to use me. I was never helped, and I’m going to help. Thank you, God. I’m going to actively trust you every day. Thank you for seeing me as someone who could do something.

   1. 

      Pastor Bryan Lowe · March 26, 2012 - 10:56 am · Reply→

      That same impulse led me to introduce Brokenbelievers. It’s like the Sahara Desert on the internet for Christians with mental illness. My occasional urges to murder myself is absorbed by Jesus, and His delightful presence recovers me and upholds me.

      ybic,
      Bryan

3. 

   Carl Halling · January 2, 2012 - 8:32 am · Reply→

   Dear Pastor Rowe, could you please pray for me for various issues. I’ve been told I’m suffering from an anxiety disorder. I am subject to what could be called a persistent sense of unreality or mild faintness; exacerbated by being outside and especially among crowds, and there has been much fear and panic. I’ve also been diagnosed with hypothyroidism, or low thyroid production, for which I’m taking medication. All things considered, it’s hard for me to be out; and I’ve not been to church in a long time. It’s been about three months now that I’ve suffered from the strange sense of unreality. Please pray for me. Thank you and bless you. Carl.

   1. 

      Pastor Bryan Lowe · January 2, 2012 - 10:30 am · Reply→

      Of course I will. These our tough issues and you wouldn’t get a lot from your Synthroid. I have exactly the same issues with anxiety and social isolation. It’s been over a month since I have been to church (and I’m one of pastors).

      I do relate very much, with the anxiety, and depression as well. Write when you can. My personal email is flash99603@hotmail.com.

      ybic,
      Bryan Lowe

4. 

   michelle victoria sese-khalid · December 26, 2011 - 9:08 am · Reply→

   hi pastor rowe, i am glad i found your site. i am a christian of 25 years with TBI from a car accident, PTSD, OCD agoraphobic and i have cardiomyopathy and COPD so I can not take psychiatric medicines right now plus IBS and Hypothyroidism. I am sick all the time, without energy and depression kicks me in the butt from morning to night. i was abused and molested by my dad since 5, gang raped at 16, domestic volience for 9 of my 11 year marriage to husband one, husband 2 came after car accident and raped and abused my five children, got that marriage annuled and put him in jail, then husband 3 walked out on me and 7 children after my heart attack and 5 years worth of emotional and verbal abuse. he felt caring for a weak wife and seven kids was too much. thus my deep rooted hatred of people, mostly men. I have a guardian who has literally sacrificed his whole life to demonstrate the love of christ to me. i have a church family that goes out of their way to support my children. but no one understands me. they think i embelish, that depresssion is a manipulative tool to get people to do things for me, that my health concerns are made up, I’m delusional or paranoid, I am sure you heard it all before. i requested a service dog to help me and i was told it would be another mouth to feed and i don’t need it. i am at the point of giving up on life completely. In august i laid out a plan to kill myself and told my guardian so much. i was in the hospital for three months for mental and physical problems. i had no visitors, no phone calls and lots of excuses. Once home i felt like an alien. I could go on and on but you don’t need to hear any of this. my hold on life is dwindling. I want to go home then live this life of being cursed. Because of hurricane irene, i had flooding in my home. I lost seventy % of my belongings, 25 years worth of life. Church freinds came and hauled it away in trucks. I listened to people say it was too much, I needed to clean out my house. It was like watching my life get peed on, but you can’t say that. Anyway, thankyou for being here for us.

   1. 

      Pastor Bryan Lowe · December 26, 2011 - 1:28 pm · Reply→

      Please, dear one, be fully at home here. There are almost 1000 posts to choose from, and I have another site at psalmslife.com.

      You have traveled long and hard, it maybe time to bury yourself in grace and worship. As believers, we operate out of seasons. Perhaps you maybe leaving and entering a new one.

      I am just an email away. flash99603@hotmail.com.

      ybic, Bryan

5. 

   dc · December 11, 2011 - 3:57 pm · Reply→

   like a lot im definately am going through a rough time. my mom is gone to the emergency room on an ambulance.she has arthritis,diabetes and uses a walker and is on oxygen,i tried to encourage her but she dismisses it. of course im concerned,but im trying to remain strong.i just turned 37,but its been a rough year earlier this year my grandmother died and my x wife and i called it quits.im seeking employment,want my own place and a new partner.god has said man shouldnt be alone.ive tried to reach out to people but were often times rejected,when i ran into decent people it seemed that either i had to leave eventually or they did.ive been misunderstood by many,yet understood by few. im a strong person,but even i can use a support system.

   1. 

      Pastor Bryan Lowe · December 11, 2011 - 4:56 pm · Reply→

      Life can be savage, and quite sad. But you already know this. All I can say is that you must turn your life to the Lord, quite completely and most fully. His presence in you, will renew and alter your circumstances. I’m glad you posted here.

      ybic,
      Bryan

6. 

   InnerDialect · July 19, 2011 - 10:37 pm · Reply→

   Am deeply affected by everything on this blog/ we all think only we have a crisis and then you get a glimpse of anothers’ life and the words there reached into my room with love and grace.. kathyPastor Bryan, my youngest child aged 10, born blind teaches me evvery day to look beyond,into the hug of God…

   i myself have been thru a long illness with no hope at all, except the naked prayers that went from my room to His.
   thisis coming out in a jumble of joy, cuz I just know when we pray for each oher, there is no power that can stand against that.

   much love in Christ, Ray

7. 

   Kate · July 14, 2011 - 11:02 pm · Reply→

   I should have finished with, my name is Kate. I’m related to you by spirit and I’ll be sitting here praying – hoping that someone ..somewhere calls me. I don’t care if it’s a monkey who just happened to learn how to speak English, anything would do. 810-820-2011

8. 

   Kate · July 14, 2011 - 10:58 pm · Reply→

   I called probably ten numbers on this page. It’s nearly three in the morning and I’m on hold before going to a mental hospital on Monday. This is the first time I’ve ever tried to call a hotline. I guess I don’t know the meaning of the term. The national suicide hotline referred me to a local number, the local number put me on hold, that number then told me to try another number, the next number suggested I search the internet for twenty-four hour numbers, I end up on this page full of numbers…and I’m still sitting here asking God why it’s so hard to just have someone stop and talk to me. I can tell you from first hand experience that those numbers up there…don ‘t do a whole lot of good in a pinch. It shouldn’t say hotline anywhere on this page. Pine Rest is a mental hospital and that number is for intake. The majority of the rest are closed for business hours. I read your advice to that woman up there…and just shook my head. I have an illness too and when I’m sick it’s not because I’m not being positive, trusting God or out of his presence. My flesh means I have flesh related issues. God is here with me right now, I’m still in pain, I still want to go home and I’m still tired. I don’t even know why I’m saying anything at all really. I guess I just wanted to say that there are a lot of people searching the internet for a human being to speak with on the telephone in an hour of utter pain and this page is a bunch of dead ends and answering machines. I hope the next person who comes along has the patience to dial numbers all night.

   1. 

      Pastor Bryan Lowe · July 15, 2011 - 8:15 am · Reply→

      Yes “hot” might be an overstatement. Perservere dear one. The Father will stick to you like a magnet on you ‘fridge.’ You are a jewel to Him. Let me know please, how it unfolds.
      Bryan

9. 

   Kathy · July 7, 2011 - 1:43 am · Reply→

   Thanks Pator Bryan,your words and prayers are encouraging. Please Pray if it is God’s will to stay in my circumstances I am now. My husand puts a roof over my head and food to eat, and takes me to the Dr. when I need to go. He povides for me financially. But hardly a touch or encouragement. am I wrong or unthankful. We have been married for 30 years.
   Sincerely, Kathy

   1. 

      Pastor Bryan Lowe · July 7, 2011 - 9:34 am · Reply→

      I will, dear one. The Lord is the only one that can decypher this other issues. So much of this tension is so close to the heart. Decisions in this must be made so carefully.

10. 

    Kathy · July 5, 2011 - 5:37 pm · Reply→

    Brynan, I need to talk with you. none of the other lines. I am at the end. I had many MENTAL ISSUES AND CHRONIC ILLNESS. I just saw my DR. again. More phisical treatment. I ‘m tired. I have been hospitolizesd 3 0r 4 times for mental issuses and close to 50 times for physical issues, which the Drs always found some physical issue was found.. I was sexulay abused as a chilld. I was raped at 18. a man broken in my bathroom and raped me. I have tried to move on for years. I know something happened that I can not rememmber I was beaten and my husband tried to kill me 3 times. I am a child of God . Why can’t I let it go. I held a gun to my head tonight and as I fired it went through it went through the door. I do not trust help. They only make it worse. I trust no one but you and
    so please help me with words and prayer no one else can I trust you. All the people in m,y life who sais I can trust them has done horrible things to me I try to forget. I don’t know what to do any more . I love you, your sister in Christ, Kathy

    God. I can’t believe I took this so far. I do not wish to die , but just to just have some to listen to hug mr to talk to me and really care. I do not have that around me I feel . Please pray for me. I want to serve the Lord. Why can’t I get pass this? I fell you are my Pastor I read you all the time and I love hoe God speaks to you. I just want to be accepted and loved, your sister. Kathy

    1. 

       Pastor Bryan Lowe · July 5, 2011 - 8:24 pm · Reply→

       Dear one,
       So much ugliness happens to us. We simply can’t avoid this. It is evil and dark. But, if we live like the past is the present, we will confuse things. In order to keep our sanity, we must step through this. The wounds that have been inflicted on you are atrocious, and beyond reason. But there is nothing outside the deep grace of God. He loves you passionately. His deep intention is for you to understand this.
       I most certainly will pray for you, Kathy. I will hold you up, and will insert you into His deep presence. He fully intends for you to pass through this, and to shake off all that is dark and ugly. You are meant to be His child, and there is absolutely nothing that can really diminish this.
       Trust in Him, fully and beyond reason.
       YBIC,
       Bryan

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