Sorting Out What is Real

It’s a terribly cold, gray day here in Alaska. Very typical for the end of November. Just as typical is that I have had a heaviness descend on me, just like when the fat kid sits on the little kid at the bus stop. This grayness seems to be a premonition, I feel, of what I face trying to survive through another Alaskan winter, and I don’t know if I’m going to make it (this year.)

Been thinking about ecosystems and symbiosis. How the trees in a forest touch each other with their roots. The big tree in the sun, “shares” with the little tree in the shade. It’s the way they gently touch each other– helping, and encouraging and strengthening.

The Church is very much like this. As a mentally ill believer, I have a lot of needs and weaknesses. But knowing this, I draw from what God supplies by means of fellowshipping with others, and prayer, and the Word. (FYI. I’m not good at any of the three.) But I guess I am planted in a good spot.

I think that when we finally make it to eternity, we will be interlaced with each other to the extent we really aren’t sure who is us, and who are our loved ones and our Christian ‘brothers and sisters.’ One thing is certain–we’re not going to survive the journey alone. We just can’t do it on our own.

I must keep myself rooted firmly into “today”. I can’t handle tomorrow’s sorrow today. I have a special friend who believes he has to live “moment-to-moment”. He says that this helps him navigate the hopelessness and the despair from depression. One day at a time, and pace myself. And perhaps, be just a little more gentle with myself?

An interesting thought, not sure who said it, but it seems true:

“There are places in the heart that do not yet exist; suffering has to enter in for them to come to be.”

The transformational reason is that we grow after we hurt, that pain endured will change us. I think this is what God has intended to happen. (Good thing, not to waste our sorrows). After all, we’ve already paid for them.

Expect Times of a Certain Clarity (brokenbelievers.com)
LAPD officers shoot, injure mentally-ill woman (abclocal.go.com)

Oct 29 2011

A Masked Brokenness

by Bryan Lowe

“The great weakness in the North American church at large, and certainly in my life, is our refusal to accept our brokenness. We hide it, evade it, gloss over it. We grab for the cosmetic kit and put on our virtuous face to make ourselves admirable to the public. Thus, we present to others a self that is spiritually together, superficially happy, and lacquered with a sense of self-deprecating humor that passes for humility. The irony is that while I do not want anyone to know that I am judgmental, lazy, vulnerable, screwed up, and afraid, for fear of losing face, the face that I fear losing is the mask of the impostor, not my own!”

Brennan Manning, “Ruthless Trust“

How did we ever get to this point? We are often controlled pretty much by our shortcomings and flaws, unable (or unwilling) to present our real selves to our friends and family. Admittedly, we have for the most part done a bang-up job. We have fooled a lot of people, well, maybe not all of them, but we gave it our best shot.

For millenia, masks have been used for two reasons; one, to hide the true character and two, to present or display a new one. We probably are not trying to deceive intentionally, or, maybe we are? Often, when I attend my church, I get righteous and holy all of a sudden. It’s a nice change from the sin, depression and apathy; and it has the added benefit of getting the “praise of men” from my friends.

Manning calls this “the great weakness of the Church”. I’m not all together certain this is the case. But I do know that the Church is disabled and handicapped. It doesn’t seem to “mount up wings as eagles” (Isa. 40). It often lacks that supernatural ability to soar that characterizes the person who has waited on the Lord.

I honestly don’t want to be critical. But we are missing so much by continuing to perpetuate our transcendence over others. We meticulously prepare the outer man for personal contact with the world. Put the “best foot forward” and hide all that is not acceptable. When we do this, we become very much like the pharisee.

This my prayer for you, dear reader, “may all your expectations be frustrated, may all your plans be thwarted, may all your desires be withered into nothingness, that you may experience the powerlessness and poverty of a child and sing and dance in the love of God who is the Father, Son and Spirit.”

~Brennan Manning

Oct 20 2011

Is ‘Evangelism’ the Christian’s Greatest Fear?

“Why are you afraid of evangelism?”

**********

Lets get serious now, why does it frighten you?

Is it flesh, or maybe is it demonic? What do you think?

What does God desire?

**********************

Bad experiences

Door to Door- My first witnessing experience happened in 1984, we went out 2×2. I was paired up with Jody, a quiet and gentle soul. I freaked out at our first house, and hid behind a tree, and got sick to my stomach, I left her on the porch standing alone.
Pushy televangelists–Hate them. I abhor Christian TV. It is affront to God in my opinion.
“My friend was obnoxious with me.”– Are you ‘joshing’ me?
Clumsy Apologetics, (being caught without answers). You need to be light on your feet, nimble, evasive if you have to…

Emotions

Fear of Rejection– Major deal! I hate to have people reject me.
Losing a friendship– IDK, maybe?
Fear of offending– Offensive, who knows, maybe? It could very well be that I’m being persecuted for Jesus‘ sake.
Feeling inadequate– Never, but if I don’t ever witness, it is never an issue, right?
Embarrassment over unanswerable questions– Everyone has questions. Besides, they are heathens!

Perceptions

Fear of what others will think about you.– Too close for comfort to answer. O.K. I admit it… I have chicken blood in my veins.
Rudely interrupting somebody’s life– Never thought of that. Is that even remotely possible?
Being seen as arrogant– Not a chance, I am super humble (ask my friends.)
Your own weakness, hypocrisies, and inadequacies– You got to be kidding. Weaknesses, we don’t need no stinkin’ weaknesses!
Personal Doubt– I am throughly trained to avoid this trap. Doubt is never part of my thinking, never, ever!

Guilt

Pastor says so.– He/she knows, he/she has heard from God. Besides, who can disagree with him/her.
Jesus says so.– Are you sure? He loves me too much to do this to me.
To mess up somebody’s eternal destiny is your fault– No sweat. Everyone is responsible for their own decisions.

***************

Thank you Evangelism Coach International for the jumpstart on this subject. http://www.evangelismcoach.org/

A good start happens right here. http://www.intothyword.org/pages.asp?pageid=53499

Evangelism Weekly Christianity.com@crosswalkmail.com (thechristiangazette.wordpress.com)
An alternative to cold evangelism (savouringthegospel.wordpress.com)
Spirits of darkness (wordsofeternallife.org)
Evangelism? (thebecomingnarrative.wordpress.com)

Sep 12 2011

Don’t Be Scared: Psalm 143

Psalm 143:

A Prayer Not to Be Killed, or Something Worse

A psalm of David.

¹ Lord, hear my prayer;
       listen to my cry for mercy.
    Answer me
       because you are loyal and good.

The writer stresses the truth that God listens. A listening God is a God of wonder. Elijah on Mt. Carmel had focused the people on a hearing God who was the real God. The writer then reveals his trust in the inherent goodness of God. He listens, He never ever puts His phone on call forwarding.

² Don’t judge me, your servant,
because no one alive is right before you.

We are all in the same predicament, we are sinners. The writer doesn’t need to be convinced of this. All he can do is appeal to God. He knows his place though–a servant of the Lord. He understands that he is what he is. He accepts what is real, and doesn’t try to pretend otherwise.

³ My enemies are chasing me;
       they crushed me to the ground.
    They made me live in darkness
       like those long dead.
⁴ I am afraid;
       my courage is gone.

We all have enemies. They are the satanic evil spirits that are the wholesalers of evil and its devices and they mean to harm us. The writer feels the pursuit, and these sinister antagonists get close enough to strike at him. He confesses fear.   His life has been far too influenced by their dark ministry. He is being pressed to the point of being overwhelmed.

  ⁵ I remember what happened long ago;
       I consider everything you have done.
       I think about all you have made.
⁶ I lift my hands to you in prayer.
       As a dry land needs rain, I thirst for you. Selah

The psalmist has a spiritual history to ponder. He thinks of all the past events and draws out his strength. He “remembers” in the truest sense of the word. It is good if we can just remember all of the issues and battles that we have already faced. Verse 6 declares his proper response to v. 5. The hands go up, and he imagines himself to be a desert–dry and desolate. He thirsts (desire).

⁷ Lord, answer me quickly,
       because I am getting weak.
    Don’t turn away from me,
       or I will be like those who are dead.

The writer has evaluated his situation, he is weak and he is dying. His spiritual pulse is “weak and thready.” This seems to be a deteriorating condition. He is discerning enough however to draw conclusions. Doctors tell us that hearing is the last faculty to depart a dying man. Perhaps to a spiritual man discernment is the last to go. Somehow we know what the truth is until we are completely senile (spiritually, that is).

  ⁸ Tell me in the morning about your love,
       because I trust you.
    Show me what I should do,
       because my prayers go up to you.

The writer affirms his personal connections to the Lord. Love should be an intimate word, saturated with hope and a future. This love comes as a result of trust/faith (the word, “because” is key). The psalmist requests help for his particular situation. He sees his prayers, like arrows reaching heaven.

⁹ Lord, save me from my enemies;
       I hide in you.
¹⁰ Teach me to do what you want,
       because you are my God.
    Let your good Spirit
       lead me on level ground.

Save me…teach me…lead me. A “triune” aspect of the Spirit’s work. Each believer can realize this ministry. He is like a bodyguard, a tutor, and a professional guide to each of us. Verse 10…”level ground”; nothing is harder on a tired soldier then marching on hilly terrain. Flat and level is the best, and its not wrong to ask for an easier path.   Sometimes we stumble because we haven’t asked for level ground.

¹¹ Lord, let me live
       so people will praise you.
    In your goodness
       save me from my troubles.
¹² In your love defeat my enemies.
       Destroy all those who trouble me,
       because I am your servant.

This should be the cry of the Christian heart–let me be an example that will lead others to worship. Let me be a reason to them to sing, and give you glory. Notice that God’s goodness is specifically pointed out to be the starting point for salvation. “Since He is good, I will be saved”. In verse 12 we are reminded that out of that matrix of love, God can conquer. “God so loved the world”…John 3:16. Love is the reason, and not just a vague, general sense of love but a love that rolls up its sleeves and jumps in and pounds my enemies.

If this post has been a blessing to you, and you would like me to do more of this, won’t you let me know. Thanks!

Sep 6 2011

Martyrs in America? Maybe

……………………………………………………..

Being heard is not the same as having influence. Believers must reconsider the issues of being salt and light in a pagan culture. We have tried a myriad of approaches in our evangelism, and we are not succeeding. We have been maneuvered to the margins of society, and I fear that is where we will stay.

Several years ago, a believer directed a high budget movie, The Passion of The Christ, which shattered box-office records and sparked interest in religious films when it came out in 2004. It was compelling and disturbing. We saw Jesus beaten and whipped, but the splattering of blood did not translate well into spiritual change. If perhaps anything, it inured people to a higher purpose– salvation.

We must use everything that is available to us as people to broadcast the gospel. Art, both fine and popular, music and theater, movies and sports. We need to squeeze out every venue, in every media to share the good news.

But this is not enough. We are engaged in a heated, spiritual struggle for truth and hope. Our methodology will consistently fall short of our ideals. In the time of ancient Rome the only time Christians were in the limelight were as martyrs. And the lions of the Coliseum made quick work of their witness. But man, they succeeded in reaching thousands, and the pagan empire was brought to Christ, en mass!

Perhaps martyrdom will be our path to reach America with the Gospel. The New Testament word for “witness” is martyr. It very well may be that our blood will be the seed for a new generation of believers. Church history would support this view. It should come as no surprise.

I remember witnessing once in UC Berkeley campus. It is a very challenging place in a stronghold of intellectualism. The people I encountered were bright and engaging. But as I got ready to leave, I met a university professor. He looked at me in his tweed jacket and sweater vest and said something I will never forget. “Too bad we can’t feed you to the lions”. It was a stark and frightening, I knew he meant it.

In this enlightened place, there was a coldness and a bitterness that I never encountered in the “drug and sex” neighborhoods of San Francisco. This incident in Berkeley was a brazen and committed calculation against the Gospel.

We are in God’s hands. Obedience is a die-cast, deliberate decision we must make ahead of time. We can’t just hope to make it work unless we die now. “Die before you die, and your dying won’t be death”, the old preacher wrote. This could very well be our cue. Get ready.

Aug 2 2011

Where Did Our Treasure Go?

The Pharasee and the Publican

The Parable of the Pharisee and the Publican is a parable told by Jesus in the gospel of Luke. In it, a Pharisee, grateful for his own virtue, is judged lower than a tax collector who is ashamed of his own sin. The lesson teaches the value of displaying humility by seeking forgiveness for one’s sins over displaying pride at one’s own righteousness.

Luke 18:9-14, ESV

He also told this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and treated others with contempt: “Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee, standing by himself, prayed thus: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I get.’ But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, a sinner!’

Essentially it would seem, that there are only two kinds of people, which simplifies things. On the right stands the religious man, who has confided in a level of righteousness that he deems adequate. His sin is multi-faceted. A big chunk has to do with how he perceives others in comparison to himself. He despises those who are failures, losers, and criminals. He points to them to bolster his own position.

Too many churches have become places were Pharasees come together to congratulate themselves. These men and women do not operate from brokenness and humility. They know nothing of tears over their sin. But they pat themselves on their back because of their progress in the ways of God. Life seems so wonderful in our churches. We leave our services comfortably encouraged in our self-righteousness.

The tax-collectors of this world, are its drunks, addicts, mentally ill, and the losers. They stand afar off. and don’t even have the energy or confidence to turn to God. They know exactly what they have done, and understand perfectly that the “are less then zero”. There is such a gap between these two men, and it has only deepened to this present situation. Where are the bipolar, the schizophrenic, the person with OCD in our churches? For that matter, where has is the unwed mother, the crack addict, and the homosexual gone? I will tell you where, they are “standing afar off”. People with ugly secrets are scared to death by religious people.

I didn’t intend for this to be a hard word. But the treasures of the Church have gone missing! We must seek them out and bring them home. The sinner very often needs our encouragement to “come and dine” with Jesus.