Loneliness and Depression Are Best Friends

Depression and loneliness walk hand-in-hand. When one of them pays a visit, the other is ready to join in. Often when we try to deal with our loneliness we’ll find depression just around the corner waiting. How ironic is this?

Depressed people tend to suffer in silence and isolate themselves from the outside world. When you are depressed, you feel less motivated to go out, make contact, socialize or participate in activities, or doing anything at all. Days, even weeks can go by without wanting to see anyone or talk to anyone and this aggravates feelings of isolation. Often depressed people do not want to talk about their problem or simply feel misunderstood.

Similarly, prolonged and intense feelings of loneliness can lead to depression. Treating the symptoms of depression is likely to resolve the problem of loneliness. If the reasons of loneliness are well understood (this requires some soul-searching and questioning oneself) and if methods of overcoming loneliness are applied, it is very likely that symptoms of depression will become less or disappear.

Beating depression or loneliness does not start with having more friends, or a relationship, although it can help. It really starts from within and is a process that takes time and care. Asking the right questions and doing the right things as part of this process is one of the keys to healing. Humans go through life in patterns by doing the same thing over and over again. Even in different situations, these patterns will be repeated and simply generate the same results.

A pattern is a repeated response to a situation in life or a series of activities that are repeated over and over again. They are formed by what we have learned from the past, what we know now, what we feel comfortable with and what our beliefs and values are. If any of these remain unchanged we become “fixed” in our ways. That’s why many of us have a hard time making lasting changes. The challenge is to break a pattern and gain new, life-changing insights.

It is a good thing to know that Jesus Christ sees and understands. But its good to have someone with skin on. Someone you can see and touch. Thats precisely why we have the Church. People who believe and touch each other deeply, helping each other up. Loneliness does not do very well in the true Body of Christ.

How to Handle Loneliness (everydayhealth.com)
How to Get Rid of The Loneliness (socyberty.com)
Physical Symptoms Of Depression In Women (answers.com)
always feel alone and depressed because you can’t remember a time when you haven’t felt alone and depressed (youhavemetmeataverystrangetimeinmylife.wordpress.com)

Feb 9 2012

What Good are the Miracles of Jesus?

^“But if I do it, even though you do not believe me, believe the miracles, that you may know and understand that the Father is in me, and I in the Father.”

–John 10:38

The healings Jesus performed boldly attest to his claim to be God. When we read about them, as recorded in the Gospels, we cannot doubt their supernatural flavor. A normal person cannot give sight to someone who has been blind from birth. I cannot raise a dead person, it’s simply not in the realm of even remote possibility.

Jesus performed hundreds and hundreds of healings, many not recorded in the Scriptures except through a vague and veiled reference to them. There were not just healings, but he also did miracles over natural laws. Water turned into wine, walking on the Sea of Galilee, feeding 5000 people with a little boys lunch.

You would think that the presentation of each miracle would bring a person to faith. But that is not the case. We assimilate them and process them to the point where we can nullify them. “Sure Jesus raised a widow’s son from the dead,” we say, but we inoculate ourselves against the truth of it. We deafen our selves, and silence the miracle. We roll right over it.

I need, I must re-visit these supernatural events again and again. They are a tonic to my jaded soul. These miracles require that I pick them up by their handle and make them my own. Jesus Christ is waiting for us to accept him as supernatural, because that is what he is. Does your Jesus work miracles?

“Remember the wonders he has done,
his miracles, and the judgments he pronounced,”

–Psalm 105:5

The miracles are not about the miracles (wordsofgrace.wordpress.com)
Believing in Miracles (seekinggodfindingself.wordpress.com)
Prayer For Healing and Miracles..From Book (doublelattebooks.wordpress.com)

Feb 8 2012

Evil Gets a Makeover

by Catherine DeMonte LFMT

God delights in changing evil things into good. He has this crazy habit of taking dark things and making them new. Many of us have a checkered past, many hurtful and ugly things have been committed on us, as well as by us. We have been wounded, and we have hurt others.

There are some of us with a mental illness. And some with a chemical dependency. These have been a factor in our sin, but they are not excuses. The Book of Proverbs describes this “playing with fire.”

“Can a man carry fire next to his chest and his clothes not be burned?”

Proverbs 6:27, ESV

The first step we take is to “own up.” But alas, we have hid it for so long, denying and pretending that we have not been harmed, or have harmed others. We are masters of disguise, masquerading as whole people. When I was a boy, I often earned the task of cleaning the barn. You would scrape the manure into the gutter, and then dusted lime over anything left behind. But it was only cosmetic, it was simply covered up.

The deep promise of Jesus is not cosmetic. It is not superficial; it is not just “skin deep.” The profound actuality is that our transformation is inside out. It is a work that starts in our heart, and then works itself out where people can see. We have all tried to clean things up, but what we don’t need is more lime.

The love and forgiveness of our Lord is what we really must have. Our sins are making us very unpleasant people. As we get older we find that our evil has been compounded and extrapolated. The infection only spreads, and it gets worked throughout our lives and relationships. This is ruinous, and David understood.

“Then I confessed my sins to you
and didn’t hide my guilt.
I said, “I will confess my sins to the Lord,”
and you forgave my guilt. “

Psalm 32:5, NCV

We are sinners, and some of us are very talented at it. It is an art form to us. Our entire society, and every social aspect is sick with it. Jesus who knows us completely, and He loves us the most.

“In Christ we are set free by the blood of his death, and so we have forgiveness of sins. How rich is God’s grace,⁸ which he has given to us so fully and freely.”

Ephesians 1:7,8

“I sinned against the Lord,
so he was angry with me,
but he will defend my case in court.
He will bring about what is right for me.
Then he will bring me out into the light,
and I will see him set things right.”

Micah 7:9, NCV

The Light Side, the Dark and Amazing Grace (brokenbelievers.com)
Against the Cosmic Powers (brokenbelievers.com)

Feb 7 2012

Broken Prayers From the Edge

I lock the doors. Close the curtains. And let God have it.

I clinch my fists in a maddening rage as my hands tremble violently. Within moments, my fingers ache from the intense, white-knuckle tightness. And my forearms cramp up. The blood rushes to my head. And my eyes burn and burn and burn from the tears.

I speak, then shout — and scream.

My voice becomes raspy as I rant. And soon, my throat burns. My heart is aflame with grief and rage, so much so that my ears can no longer understand the words coming out of my mouth. Before it’s over, I will blow my nose several times and wipe my eyes often and much.

I am broken — and I am praying.

I start with the loss of my friend, JD, a man taken far, far too soon. A man who left behind a wife and two children. I tell God that I do not think it is fair for his children to grow up without a father. And then, I ask God why He didn’t take me instead, that I want to be with my children, that I don’t have any here for me.

“All I do is suffer and I am sick to death of it!!!”

And then, I rant about all the believers — never the broken — who paint a picture of life with Christ as a portrait of perfection. Their grandiose testimonies have made me feel like God has something against me, like grace is a joke for people like me because my life has been so hard. My brokenness is not the result of one trial, nor one tragedy — but a lifetime of unbearable loss.

“And it just keeps happening!!!”

I rattle off the names of those I’ve lost in just the past five years: Jerry, Britany, Virginia, Rob, Terry, Nancy, Leroy, Art, Kim, Greg, Melody – and now JD. I tell God that I am the anti-Midas. Everything King Midas touched turned to gold, but I feel like everything I touch turns to dirt. I am cursed. “God has raised His fist against me.”

“How am I supposed to go on? How?”

And then, in that moment, all of my rage and all of my grief and all that I am burns and burns and burns for The Almighty. I am a man of faith — and, even in the midst of this monstrous mess my life has become, I know that He could end every ounce of this despair with a simple whisper. A sign. A something. Anything.

“If You would just speak, this madness would end!”

With the last tissue, I tell God that I am convinced He wants me to suffer — alone, in this maddening agony. I tell Him that I have given up on Him, that I cannot take any of this any more. That I am broken. And my heart is dead. My pain is too great, my anguish too deep. And that I will never serve God again for as long as I live.

“I can’t do it! I can’t do it! I just can’t do it!”

Three days later, God spoke to me through a dream.

“In my dream, I had a vision…”

To learn more, read ”Safe in the Mouth of Danger.”

Love,

The NorEaster

I Must Have Mercy! Psalms 6 (psalmslife.com)
Just Being Real – Freedom Through Brokenness (justbecausehelives.org)
Praying Like It Mattered (thelivingletterchronicles.wordpress.com)

Feb 6 2012

A Grace Suitable for Sinners Like Me

Certainty and confidence should never become permanent fixtures in our lives. Yes, there are times of ebullient fortitude when everything just clicks, and we seem to be pretty victorious believers. But I assure you, this is only a temporary state. It isn’t the normal Christian life. And yet, we strive to make this consistency our Christian life.

Gloomy thoughts will often prevail; our fears and doubts become complete seasons of time. There will be doubts and frustration. I start to lose my passion for Christ, it just trickles away. And since nature abhors a vacuum, other desires and interests move in. I slide into something quite compromised, and what I previously condemned.

It is at these times we must absorb the truth. It is not your hold on Christ that saves you, rather it is His hold on you that is significant. It’s not how tight we hold on to our Father’s hand, but His grasp on yours. He has soaked up all our sin, and become guilty of it all. He has drawn it all away. He blots it all up with His white heart.

The mercy of God will insist on Him holding you close. Because of His profound love for you He becomes overprotective of you. Let none question, you are His own. Anyone who touches you, touches “the apple of His eye.”

“I am graven on the palms of His hands. I am never out of His mind. All my knowledge of Him depends on His sustained initiative in knowing me. I know Him, because He first knew me, and continues to know me. He knows me as a friend, One who loves me; and there is no moment when His eye is off me, or His attention distracted for me, and no moment, therefore, when His care falters.”

J.I. Packer

Are you broken? Flawed, and stumbling? Do you think that you are a poor example of a believer? I tell you, His love is not contingent on your outward behavior. It is a Greek word, it is an “agape” love. Narrowly defined as a “unconditional love,” not related to what you deserve, earn, or warrant. It is a love given without an expectation of a corresponding love in return. This is love, and it travels with grace.

“The bridge of grace will bear your weight, brother. Thousands of big sinners have gone across that bridge, yea, tens of thousands have gone over it. Some have been the chief of sinners and some have come at the very last of their days but the arch has never yielded beneath their weight. I will go with them trusting to the same support. It will bear me over as it has for them.”

Charles Spurgeon

Some Of The Worst He Has Chosen (samuelatgilgal.wordpress.com)
Pure Grace (apologus.wordpress.com)
Grace is the Sinner’s Only Hope (hislambiam.wordpress.com)
The Grace of God doesn’t need you to add anything to it… (ptl2010.com)
Forgiveness of Sinners – Jay Adams (revivalandreformation.wordpress.com)

Feb 4 2012

A Crash Course in Depersonalization

Depersonalization is like having amnesia. You don’t know who you are, you’ve “lost” yourself– your identity or your personality. You try to jump-start yourself. You pray, make deals with God, but it doesn’t help. You are stuck.

There is a pervading feeling, like doom. It saturates your thinking, flavoring everything with a sense of finality. It is as difficult as you can imagine, to lose yourself– to become unreal to yourself.

Depersonalization is a symptom of an anxiety disorder and not a stand alone condition. How do we know this? Because depersonalization cannot exist without anxiety BUT anxiety can exist without depersonalization.

Depersonalization is caused by a shift in the part of the brain that provides us with a ‘real’ awareness of our environment; this part of the brain is directly linked to the Amygdala, the organ in the brain responsible for anxiety.

Terms commonly used to describe the symptoms and sensations of Depersonalization:

unreal
disembodied
divorced from oneself
apart from everything
unattached
alone
strange
weird
foreign
unfamiliar
dead
puppet-like
robot-like
acting a part
like a lifeless person
two dimensional
‘cardboard’ figure
made of cotton-wool
having mechanical actions
remote
automated, a robot
a spectator
witnessing ones own actions as if in a film or on a TV program
not doing one’s own thinking
observing the flow of ideas in the mind as independent.

Treatment is to deal with the anxiety, depersonalization, although disturbing in itself, is not harmful. [Although the experts have never had to go through it].

As a Christian believer I reach out for the presence of God in this mental state. Even though it is hard, I reach out in faith on the basis of His word; He will never leave or forsake me, He has forgiven me and not abandoned me. That He understands my thinking from afar off. These truths all strengthen me.