2) Even in Church we need to build our friendships. They are not automatic, even with so much commonality between saints. There’s a proverb that talks about if you want friends you need to be friendly. That requires that you “double” your efforts. By the way, everyone loves a servant. Often friendship will develop out of your servanthood.

3) The majority of church people haven’t a clue about mental illness, depression or anxiety. They often don’t truly understand how disabling our illness is, even as a believer. It’s a good thing to read, talk, drink coffee with the few that seem “to get it,” or almost get it.

I believe you will walk through this season of conflict. You will make it through.
One of my favorites,

“Who is that coming up from the wilderness,
leaning on her beloved?” Song of Sol. 8:5

The world is a wilderness, the presence of Jesus is so close, but we must lean!

Praying today,
Bryan

But in fact, my conclusion is that it might be the best to die.
Cause not only oneself isoltes from the others, the others do the same with oneself. And among the worst “helpers” are people from churches.
(Still) being a believer, I asked for support in my church. Nothing happend. I asked at other christian places. Guess what happend. Nothing.
In a real psychic chrisis (not a physical one), even christian people tend to let you alone. It is better to face that and commit suicicde.

Having read the post before helps me see how He can handle your painful prayer. He is truly grace and mercy and compassion and love.