2 thoughts on “crisisline”

  1. Don’t know where to begin. Somethings compounded and no longer can pinpoint one from the other. I am so deeply hurt and disappointed that there times when I can literally be without feelings. Just a deep sense of hopelessness. Don’t really know what to do with all of it. No I am not perfect, no I don’t do things right. Maybe it is to much to expect at this stage of life that we have overcomed the elementaries. Crazy, I know nothing that I am saying is makes any sense. Nothing I am saying makes sense because the life I am in at the moment makes no sense at all. I have been married for five years. Of which three of the five have been sexless. I am married to a man who is a pastor. He has been a churchman most of his life. A great deal of his time is spent on Facebook. He post all types of comments. A lot of them not becoming to his office as a pastor. But he seems not be concern with how his actions destroy his credibility. I live everyday holding my breath but everyday is something else. He is not forthright about what he does. He gives me the ” need to know basis”. I a m made aware of the sometimes not wise things he says on social media and in conversations by second hand. I live a quiet fear. Every week I have to compose myself because he pastores a church and no one knows what it takes Sunday after Sunday to keep it all together. There is more, much more, but why bother to talk about. I literally feel trapped. Can’t speak to anyone because then it reflects on him. The circle is large yet small all at the same time. He thinks that he behavior and posture about things is not a problem. I can’t hold my head up anymore I am so ashamed of all the stuff he has said and done over the years. I do not see this ending or getting better unless one of us leaves or dies.

    Like

  2. My heart is heavy, I know god himself wouldn’t give me and my family a situation that we can’t handle but at this point in these particular situations for five years straight my family and I have felt lost . God I won’t blame for my misfortune its my faith.. I want to believe that life is god and we are molded out of the lessons that he teaches us. My heart screams for release from this long on going war of life trails and tribulations I feel my family is giving up I fear I will too

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s