How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?
Charismatics:
Only one. Hands already in the air.
Pentecostals:
Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.
Presbyterians:
None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.
Roman Catholic:
None. Candles only.
Baptists:
At least 15. One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad.
Episcopalians:
Three. One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk about how much better the old one was.
Mormons:
Five. One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.
Unitarians:
We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.
Methodists:
Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Church wide lighting service is planned for Sunday. Bring bulb of your choice and a covered dish.
Nazarene:
Six. One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.
Lutherans:
None. Lutherans don’t believe in change.
Amish:
What’s a light bulb?
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Broken Believers 