“Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.”
–Psalm 42:11, NIV
The things that truly tear me apart, will often start by intensifying my gloom and depression. I certainly do avow a limited degree of freedom. But even in the light of this,
1) depression hammers me,
2) dismantles me, and than it
3) devastates me
My own lostness goes on to confuse me, (not to mention it in the lives of my family and friends) and than I slide into further into my darkness. The bottom just falls off, and I go even lower.
But the Father interjects His will on my behalf, and puts me into this critical place by a special grace. I try to rest into this great big sea of a massive love, but I imagine I really don’t belong. In my dark depression, I turn to Him for a greater protection. I understand my proclivity to depression that only sinks me into the darkness of sin.
In olden days, a ship in a overwhelming storm would attempt to lighten its load by throwing its cargo overboard. When we are in this despondency, we often will do this as well. Anything to just survive. We are quite desperate.
My darkness is deep, and it is an intensely viscous evil. It reaches out for me, and it entangles me. You might rightly say that I am lost, but the Father does intervene, and He steps into my blackness, and separates me from it. It may seem a bit melodramatic. But He nevertheless carries me through. And yet I will confess that He has behaved consistently concerning me.
When we have an opportunity we should simply reach out for it. Our foolishness should not disconnect us into a confused place of being. We will step out into this awareness of being made wonderfully complete, and incredibly sure. His presence alters us, and sanctifies us. We change and adjust ourselves. Yet everything that does proceed into us will bring us to a purpose and significance.
I do return and earnestly seek Him to work in me. Unless He does, I will be irrevocably lost. I turn to Him, and so I must admit I am bold in this. I say desperately, ‘Please Jesus, save me.’ I will only turn, and be very bold, entering into His salvation. “Please save me dear Savior, and launch me into the world of salvation. Give me a deep understanding of your deliverance. Jesus, I surrender to your work.” And in all the areas I surrender, He meets me and brings me to the place of of rest.
“So our hope is in the Lord.
He is our help, our shield to protect us.”
–Psalm 33:20, NCV