Self absorption is one of the traps that we can become ensnared. Many sociologists and psychiatrists are united at this point. Mental health is improved by thinking about others, instead of yourself. We are healthiest when we put others first.
My biggest issues are a result of my preoccupation with myself.
The times when I focus on the Lord, and on others are a blast of cool relief to my overheated soul. Healthy thinking can be evidence of what our gaze is set upon.
Healthy periods of self-examination are necessary, to a point. But prolonged focus can only be injurious.
My own flirtations with suicide have caused me to reflect on how I arrived at such a point. Suicide is the inability to construct a future and feel loved. I get ensnared by all of my ponderous issues and can see no light and have no hope. I become hopeless; despair is all I can see and feel.
But we must never trust the seemingly “certainties of despair”. The promises of God and the steady witness of the Holy Spirit are to be our very life. Especially in this matter. Miring yourself in your problems will only damage your heart and mind. You may have a mental illness, but we can reduce the tension that life is giving us.
I have both bipolar disorder and epilepsy. I have experienced the “mega-ton” kind of depression. I know that I stay healthy when my attention is not on me, but on my family, my church, and my community; and my God. I gain nothing when my soul is mesmerized by my issues. (This isn’t humility– it’s the opposite.)
For the disciple of Jesus Christ what is called for is self-denial. A committed self-forgetfulness that energizes the “basin-and-towel” service to all those around us. Healing comes when we give ourselves completely (Isaiah 58). Our mental illness doesn’t nullify our discipleship. If anything at all, it enhances it.
I realized there is a fine line here. But I believe that my despair is “anti-God.” When I feel like giving up that should become my finest hour. God is closest to those who need Him most.
“For thus says the high and exalted One
Who lives forever, whose name is Holy,
“I dwell on a high and holy place,
And also with the contrite and lowly of spirit
In order to revive the spirit of the lowly
And to revive the heart of the contrite.”
Isaiah 57:15, NASB
Broken Believers 
hi brother, we have not spoken face to face in about 6 months, but you are not forgotten. would like to meet up someday soon. 907 399 3244 Stephen Rollins, your fellow brain tumor and manic depressive here in Homer on a rainy but hopeful new years day. (listening to U2 sing of the same) Hope you will find my thoughts on the Creator/man interchange on the website http://www.attheendoftheroadachancetolookup.com useful.
OBTW, I wonder if the desires of the flesh will be satisfied in heaven, or just eliminated. That seems to be my major question at the moment, and I do not expect the answer will change the desire!
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Allo Brain!
Sorry,I wrote a long, long, note! At first I did not know it would end up like this,as long, but if you may, please be patiente to read my long note and if you Brain find that I write to much, you can tell me.I am an extremested!
Thank you so much to speak with wisdom. I am taking notes of what you say when you talk about that healing comes when we give ourselves completly.Being to preoccupied with ourselves.Keeping ourselves in our problems will only damage our hearts and mind.
It is so true, but really not easy to do,but one day we must open our eyes and put our eyes off of ourselves,and first of all turn our eyes on the Lord and then on others around us.
It makes 15 years that I started falling off this clift(I could say,this humendous clift) Never thought this would ever happen to me!! Never!!
Seeing myself,as a Christain,my body cut everywhere etc…and plus ,as years went by,always hoping that the Lord would finally heal me,but it was not the case!, My years were getting worser and worser up to today,2015, never ever has been as bad as it is now BUT with all that I am going through (suicidal thoughts and even attempts,but finished by stopping,being to afraid where I will end up after my death.My husband,children,daughter in law, my litlle baby girl, that would never know her grandmother etc…) stops me but at the same time,everything becomes so floo.This Angoisse, great suffering and pain.That big black hole! Great dispear which NO words could be found to explain this horrible pain!
I spent my time asking God “Why!Why!Why! but i now finally tell myself that I must stop asking Why!
I reallize that asking this,does not bring me anywhere. It just brings me to fight with myself and with the Lord and things don’t get better but you just drain yourself out!
Years ago, my friend would say to me some things and my reaction would be anger and I would say to myself ‘ How can you say such a thing, with all the suffering I am going through”
But now,even its my hardess year ever, I am realizing and seeing things, yes that my freind use to tell me and at that time, I use to get so mad and all upset,well I see my eyes starting to see things in a diffrente way ( ofcoarse when I fall deep in my Angoisse,that falls on me just like that.I don’t have any control cause it is so deeply intense and loss every hope BUT like my Psy told me lately, that when I go though theses horrible peeks, Tell yourself that it will pass, that it will finish by passing) Really not easy but its true for me.)
Well its like there is a puzzle ,and its like there are pieces that I now can take.A word of a friend .The Lord trying to tell me something… And I am starting to be aboul to start this puzzle of mine. Things that I did not understand from the Lord, what He wanted to teach me or my friends, well I am Praising the Lord that He is starting to open up my heart to recieve words from Him and also a friend of mine. Even my friend tells me ‘ Tina,5, 4, 2, years ago you were not aboul to here me out and got mad after me.There are things you can say now that you were not aboul to say in the passed, but I see that the Lord is working in you and you see things now, even if some days it is hell your living, more and more you are aboul to surrender to the Lord! You are staring to see more clearer”
I never thought that the Lord would work with me in this way, cause me, every day I wanted a miracle right away and in my way!! But I am realizing that I must surrender my ways of wanting things my way, but let God guide my life and what I am going thought! I call that surrendering all! He is the BOSS! Its not easy, but I must Trust In The Lord! He Is in Control Of My Life And Yours Too!
Saddly,I lost some big dears friends, cause all what I was aboul to do is just speak of myself, my hurt and suffering,pain, despair,my GUILT!!!
I was running around like a chicken with no head!! My dear, dear friends,tried so hard to help me, but I burnt them with my problems and today they cut all contact.Yes, ofcoarse it hurts very deeply my heart, but I understand them.They gave me all what they were aboul to give me but today, I guess they just feel helpless.
I still have 1 great friend that never left me because she understands me cause one day she was very sick herself and she went threw what I am going threw all theses years.She understands what I am living and she is aboul to try to help me! Thank God!
Last week I was again at the hospital ( Psy) It was a better day that day for me and I was aboul to help and encourge this youg man.Going back in my room, I was so so happy, cause I had helped someone and I was thanking God and crying with joy telling myself ‘ Finally, I am not the one getting help! I myself helped someone in great dispair and the person felt even good after passing time speaking together with me ! I had a great feeling of feeling hopefull instead of hopeless! :)))))
And I was aboul to speak abit of the Lord too!
I know that I am not always in a good state of mind, but helping that young person, lifted me up and made my day and its true, while trying to help someone ,I did forget alot about ME, MYSELF AND I :)))))))
May The Lord Greatly Bless You All!
Tina 🌻
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