Battle Scars


It is a bad habit to try to teach without personal knowledge. We can preach, and yet we do not possess. This is one of the occupational hazards of those of us in our profession. It also seems to carry a horrible curse of spiritual sterility, that the wise believer can discern.

It’s been over 20 years since a diagnosis of Bipolar 1 was made. I believe I was BP in my teens. Life is a roller-coaster for me, up and down, with a twist or two along the way. I am now fairly aware at 58 that much of my earthly existence has already been lived. Life can become such a grind. I’m tired and broken and ready for eternity.

“One should go to sleep as homesick passengers do, saying, “Perhaps in the morning we shall see the shore.”

–Henry Ward Beecher

Billy Bray (a bearer of an unfortunate name) was an illiterate Cornish evangelist in the 1850s. He was heard to pray this: “Lord, if any have to die this day, let it be me, for I am ready.” By faith, I think I do understand these sentiments. I am ready to go as well.

I love collecting good quotes. But here’s two more good ones:

“God buries His workmen but carries on His work.”   -Charles Wesley
“If we really think that home is elsewhere and that this life is a “wandering to find a home,” why should we not look forward to the arrival?”  – C.S. Lewis

Sorry if I’m being too maudlin. But the battle is so long, and it doesn’t ever let up, does it? We all can become weary after a while. What we need is to be ‘shut in’ with the Lord. The Word reminds us:

Strengthening the souls of the disciples, encouraging them to continue in the faith, and saying that through many tribulations we must enter the kingdom of God”

Acts 14:22

“Tribulations” are common, and each must battle through them. And without being melodramatic, we each must walk through the blazing furnace. But I can also boldly attest that there is more than enough grace for each of us. We just need to become desperate enough. (Which shouldn’t be too hard).

Armor is given. Wearing it means you’ll survive (and thrive) to see another day. Those who may suggest that the Christian life is a “bed of roses,” I would say that they haven’t read Ephesians 6. If there is no war, why would the Holy Spirit tell us to put it on?

“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. 11 Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil.” 

Eph. 6:10-11

We are just starting to learn we must fall in love with Jesus. He receives us with a massive kind of love. And His mercy meets us at every doubtful corner. You have His Word on it. Simply ask Him to come to you. 



Author: Pastor Bryan Lowe

A repentant rascal with definite issues, but who is seeking to be authentic in his faith to Jesus Christ. An avid reader and a hopeful writer. Husband and father. A pastor and Bible teacher. A brain tumor survivor. Diagnosed with clinical depression, and now disabled. Enjoys life, such as it is, in Alask.a (Actually I have it pretty good.)

4 thoughts on “Battle Scars”

  1. Brother Bryan…..I so love your honesty! Been feeling the same way. My struggle has been chronic migraines and other illness for 20 years now. His grace has been sufficient and I’ve still been able to serve the Lord in writing, songs, and other grace filled things He allowed me to do. I am grateful and fulfilled. I have been meditating on this…..2 Timothy 4: 7 ” I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” And thinking that the end is to be celebrated! I really appreciate your words and thoughts. Maybe it is time to take a second look at how we view our homecoming. I can hardly wait!! I have been reading a little book with my 6 year old neighbor about “Heaven is Real” and so blessed to be sharing it with her and it has just re-ignited my hunger and desire to be there. God is good! It’s okay to be excited and looking forward to that day! He chooses the day, but we can certainly look with joy at the special time He will choose for each of us! I love the quotes you put in this article. I had been feeling a little guilty about how I was feeling…..but your writing put that to rest. Thank you for all you do and in sharing your journey with us. We are strengthened and bettered by who you are and how beautifully you share!
    Blessings, Jean


  2. I can completely relate. The struggle is long and unrelenting. Your posts are a salve from God, through you. Thank you for being obedient to your call and know that your struggles exist, at least partly, to walk with people like me.


  3. Hi Bryan, Hope you and your wonderful family are well and growing in grace. Thank you so much for your writings. They are so filled with mercy and truth. Keep up the good work of the Lord for you are reaching people that others cannot. 11Cor. 1:4- who comforts us in all our afflictions so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. In love with Jesus, Dennis

    Sent from my iPad


Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: