I attended a conference once called Shattering Stigma: Mental Illness and the Church. In a session about anxiety, the presenter said one phrase that has stuck with me: “Don’t believe everything you think.” Just because a thought enters your mind doesn’t mean it is true. For me, that is especially the case when Darker Me decides to throw her hat in the ring.
I wrote this poem, a letter to Darker Me, after I’d spent a few days believing her lies about and interpretation of something someone else said. Thankfully, upon closer examination the lies were exposed. I hope this poem encourages you to examine each thought, especially if it is negative, to determine whether it is true.
Dear Darker Me, I tumbled like Alice as I followed you down a rabbit hole but entered no Wonderland. I found no Mad Hatter, though I found I might be mad myself for listening to you. You are no White Rabbit. Like the Cheshire Cat you point me in the wrong direction. I lost my way in my own twisted mind. You are no Queen of Hearts to insist I cut off my head or stay stuck in it. Lost for days wandering among thoughts that made no sense. You interchanged truth and lies! Nothing was what it seemed to be as I followed you into an Unwonderland of dredged up hurt feelings and wrongs recorded on an endless loop. I must find my way out, back to the surface where, Truth is truth and lies are exposed by the Light. But everything exposed by the light becomes visible—and everything that is illuminated becomes a light. I’m afraid I must expose you, dear Darker Me, that I might live without your control over my mood. I suppose we’ll meet again, but for today I bid you adieu. I know this light is not for you. I choose to awake from the nightmare you’ve drug me into and rejoice in the truth, in the Light. Sincerely, Christ in Me
If you struggle in dealing with Darker You and think processing your thoughts in poetry, check out my guided poetry journal here: https://anotherfearlessyear.net/i-believe-you/ It was originally designed for those who had experienced sexual trauma to process that pain, but it can be a blessing no matter the pain you need to express.