“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.“
2 Timothy 1:7
When you’re profoundly depressed issues like taking a hot shower and eating something besides top ramen seem impossible. I’m embarrassed to say I once went 34 days with a shower. I laid in bed pretty much unable to function.
I suppose that is the insidious truth about chronic depression, I know it well. God seems far, far away. Life doesn’t matter anymore. I am way beyond ‘salvageable.’ I obviously don’t say it, but I feel deep-down like I’m destined for destruction.
Just a word here about Satan’s battle for our souls.
He is evil far beyond human comprehension. His schemes and plots are his attempt to destroy me and to extend his darkness. He’s a boxer who almost always attacks our vulnerabilities and weaknesses, repeatedly. He finds an open cut, and pounds it over and over.
Scripture tells us that the devil is conquered. Using God’s weapons (Ephesians 6:10-18) we can protect ourselves from his evil intentions. But that war is still demanding and it’s a real challenge at times. Especially for us. Our faith isn’t always what it should be.
But there is much I can do.
Yes, it’s true–life does seem impossible at times. Clinical depression, if not confronted biblically, will slowly devour us. It deceives and cripples. There is nothing quite like it; some people tell you it will pass, and that you’ll see the sun again, but they don’t get it. Sometimes it seems to be the worst advice ever given.
We need to understand that afflicted souls are special to God.
And that alone truly comforts me. It seems like there is an invisible tether that holds from completely dropping off the edge. When I pray–it is often desperate and brief. (More like a quiet scream for help.) There are no frills and no eloquence, but I know I’m being heard by Him who guards my soul.
People, for the most part, don’t always understand and are of little help. I must admit that my attitude about this can be less than stellar. I want to shout, “unless you have been lost in this particular section of hell yourself, perhaps it’s best if you just shut up.” (I don’t really say this mind you, but I’m terribly tempted to.)
Once when I was very sick I woke up to find a pastor lying on my bedroom floor praying for me. He didn’t have to do or say anything else. He was very quiet. He left without saying some ‘pious’ word to me, yet what he did was wonderfully done. God used Him.
“I will trust Him. Whatever, wherever I am, I can never be thrown away. If I am in sickness, my sickness may serve Him; in perplexity, my perplexity may serve Him; if I am in sorrow, my sorrow may serve Him. My sickness, or perplexity, or sorrow may be necessary causes of some great end, which is quite beyond us. He does nothing in vain.”
John Henry Newman
Speak with the Lord Jesus as often as you can, and learn to listen to His voice. I read the Psalms–they give me a spiritual ears so that I can hear Him. I find a voice that can speak to God. Reading the Psalms imparts things that I can’t have any other way.
That “sound mind” promised in 2 Timothy 1:7 needs to be believed. You must activate it by faith. (Even a faith that falters.)
10 thoughts on “Trying to Find a Sound Mind”
Thank you for this. It is perfect timing for me.
I have Asperger’s syndrome, an autistic spectrum disorder, which is a neuro-developmental disorder and not a mental illness. Therefore is it ok for me to be a part of this group?
You say you take Zoloft. I was influenced by that and asked my Psychiatrist to put me on Zoloft just last Tuesday the 9th. He told me to take it at night. I am wondering however if it makes a diference that I am taking the generic Setraline. Also have you had any adverse side affects from this? Any feedback is most welcome
No real difference between the generic and the brand name (in this case). I hope it works, I’ve tried several and Zoloft finally clicked for me. Oh and I take mine in the a.m.
thanks…and thanks for your lovely blogs..they are most uplifting for someone who cries alot
Sometimes, my prayer is just, “Help me”
Margaret, sometimes, “Help me” is the best prayer we can offer to God. He knows your heart and is right beside you no matter where you are, no matter what is taking place, no matter who understands you or not. May His Spirit of comfort blanket you today. May He fill you with His peace and joy to carry on!
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I’ve been in that place many times. I’ve learned that when I think that I can’t feel God’s presence, it is because those are the times when He is closest, those are the times when He is carrying me.
I’ve been through a great deal of affliction and can relate to many hurting people. I’d like to share a bit of my story in hopes of helping others. Here is a video clip of a smidgeon of such: http://youtu.be/GD6f4GjA58o
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