Sunday Funnies 3

 Humor_1Bumper Stickers

 

– Back Up My Hard Drive? How do I Put it in Reverse? . . . )

– I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

– Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don’t have film.

– When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.

– Seen it all, done it all, can’t remember most of it.

– Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don’t.

– I feel like I’m diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

– He’s not dead. He’s electroencephalographically challenged.

– You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will
be misquoted, then used against you.

– Honk if you love peace and quiet.

– Pardon my driving, I am reloading.

– Despite the cost of living, it remains very popular.

– Nothing is fool-proof to a sufficiently talented fool.

– Diplomacy is saying “nice doggy” until you find a rock.

– A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.

– Save the whales. Collect the whole set.

– Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

– On the other hand, you have different fingers.

– Change is inevitable. Except from a vending machine.

Sunday Funnies

Each Sunday, I intend to post some humor into the blog.  To laugh at ourselves or our illness is both theraputic and healthy.  (I hope no one objects as we poke fun.)  A well-developed sense of humor is the pole that adds balance to your steps as you walk the tightrope of life.  So here we go…

 

How many Manic Depressives does it take to screw a light bulb ? Two. One to screw in the light bulb and one to keep the first one from sticking his finger in the live socket.humorbanana

How many paranoids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Hey! are you following me?!!?

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
One, but he must consult the DSM-IV.

 

~THE 10 COMMANDMENTS OF MANIC-DEPRESSION~

1.Thou shalt not blame everything on chemical imbalance.
2.Thou shalt avoid high places and sharp objects when on either
extreme of the mood spectrum.
3.Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s shiny trinkets.
4.Thou shalt not trust any shrink who writes thee up a prescription
after the first 15 minutes.
5.Thou shalt not beat up anyone while on a manic fit, no matter how
much ye really want to, or how much they deserve it.
6.Thou shalt not indulge in immorality whenever the urge strikes thee.
7.Thou shalt not break stuff that does not belong to thee.
8.Thou shalt go to bed only when ye feel tired.
9.Thou shalt allow others to occasionally get a word in edgewise.
10.Thou shalt not send people crazy e-mails at odd hours of the night,
and if thou does, then thou shalt take full responsibility for thine actions.

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