Sunday Funnies: More of the Mysterious

  1. Why does the last piece of ice always stick to the bottom of the cup?
  2. Who was the first person to say, “See that chicken over there … I’m gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt”?
  3. Why do we wash behind our ears? Who really looks there?
  4. Why don’t the hairs on your arms get split ends?
  5. Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but its ok to use a handicapped toilet?
  6. Wouldn’t it be smart to make the sticky stuff on envelopes taste like chocolate?
  7. “Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?”
  8. Isn’t it funny how the word ‘politics’ is made up of the words ‘poli’ meaning ‘many’ in Latin, and ‘tics’ as in ‘bloodsucking creatures’?
  9. Why is toilet bowl cleaning liquid only blue?
  10. Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are put into the loony bin?
  11. Why is vanilla ice cream white when vanilla extract is brown?
  12. Why can’t you get a tan on your palms?
  13. Why do all superheroes wear spandex?
  14. If a missing person sees their picture on a milk carton that offers a reward, would they get the money?
  15. If I had my legs amputated, would I have to change my height and weight on my driver’s license?
  16. How come you pay an extra 25 cents to get something put on your hamburger but they don’t take off the price if you get something taken off?
  17. If our body temperature is normally 98.6 degrees, how come when it’s 98 degrees outside, no one is comfortable?
  18. If you don’t pay your exorcist, do you get repossessed?
  19. How come only car keys are the only keys with teeth on both sides?
  20. Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?
  21. If you die and you have a broken leg do they take the cast off?
  22. Is sign language the same in languages other than English?
  23. If all of the Acme stuff doesn’t work, why does Wile Coyote keep buying their products?
  24. Since there is a rule that states “i” before “e” except after “c”, wouldn’t “science” be spelled wrong?
  25. If the S.W.A.T team comes to your house and breaks down your door, do they replace it later?
  26. What do vegetarians feed their dogs?
  27. When you see the weather report and it says “partly cloudy” and then the next day it says “partly sunny”; what’s the difference?
  28. Why is the St. Louis baseball team the cardinals, but the Missouri state bird is the blue bird?
  29. Why are public toilet seats never complete ovals?
  30. Why is it when we ask for the check in a restaurant they bring us a bill?
  31. How come wine and hard liquor doesn’t come in cans, but beer does?
  32. When lightning strikes the ocean why don’t all the fish die?
  33. If two identical twin brothers married identical twin sisters, would there kids be identical?
  34. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
  35. Don’t you find it worrying that doctors call treating you their “practice” ?
  36. Why do people never say “it’s only a game” when they’re winning?
  37. What was the best thing before sliced bread?
  38. Why do birds have white poop?
  39. Can good looking Eskimo girls be called hot?
  40. Can blind people see their dreams?
  41. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
  42. If you have a friend who works for the Psychic Friends Network, should you plan a surprise birthday party for them?

Published by Pastor Bryan Lowe

A repentant rascal with definite issues, but who is seeking to be authentic in his faith to Jesus Christ. An avid reader and a hopeful writer. Husband and father. A pastor and Bible teacher. A brain tumor survivor. Diagnosed with clinical depression, and now disabled. Enjoys life, such as it is, in Alask.a (Actually I have it pretty good.)

2 thoughts on “Sunday Funnies: More of the Mysterious

  1. #10 and #23 are my favorites! As for #26, there was a story in the Oregonian newspaper a while back about vegans that fed their dogs a vegan diet. I felt so sorry for the poor dogs. Thanks for the Sunday humor. Peace, Linda

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