Tag: mental health

Sunday Funnies 4, the Internet Addict

addict

Signs You Are an Internet Addict 

1.) You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.
 
2.) You step out of your room and realize that your parents have moved and you don’t have a clue as to when it happened.
 
3.) Your bookmark takes 15 minutes to go from top to bottom.
 
4.) Your nightmares are in HTML and GIFS.
 
5.) You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling,  like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.
 
6.) You start introducing yourself as “Jim at net dot com”
 
7.) Your heart races faster and beats irregularly each time you
see a new WWW site address on TV.
 
8.) You turn on your intercom when leaving the room so you can
hear if new e-mail arrives.
 
9.) Your wife drapes a blond wig over your monitor to remind you
of what she looks like.
 
10.) All of your friends have an @ in their names.
 
11.) When looking at a web page full of someone else’s links,
you notice all of them are already highlighted in purple.
 
12.) Your dog has its own home page.
 
13.) You can’t call your mother… She doesn’t have a modem.
 
14.) You check your mail. It says “no new messages.” So you
check it again.
 
15.) Your phone bill is a heavy as a brick.
 
16.) You write your homework in HTML and give your instructor the URL.
 
17.) You don’t know the sex of three of your closest friends,
because they have neutral nicknames and you never bothered to ask.
 
18.) Your husband tells you that he has had the beard for 2 months.
 
19.) You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop and
check your e-mail on the way back to bed.
 
20.) You tell the kids they can’t use the computer because
“Daddy’s got work to do” — even though you don’t have a job.
 
21.) You buy a Captain Kirk chair with a built-in keyboard and mouse.
 
22.) Your wife makes a new rule: “The computer cannot come to bed.”
 
23.) You get a tattoo that says “This body best viewed with
Netscape 3.0 or higher.”
 
24.) You never have to deal with busy signals when calling your
ISP… because you never log off.
 
25.) The last girl you dated was only a GIF.
 
26.) You ask a plumber how much it would cost to replace the
chair in front of your computer with a toilet.
 
27.) Your wife says communication is important in a marriage…
so you buy another computer and install a second phone line so
the two of you can chat.
 
28.) As your car crashes through the guardrail on a mountain
road, your first instinct is to search for the “back” button.
 

If you would like read  a much more serious article on Net Addiction, please see  http://psychcentral.com/netaddiction/

Sunday Funnies

Each Sunday, I intend to post some humor into the blog.  To laugh at ourselves or our illness is both theraputic and healthy.  (I hope no one objects as we poke fun.)  A well-developed sense of humor is the pole that adds balance to your steps as you walk the tightrope of life.  So here we go…

 

How many Manic Depressives does it take to screw a light bulb ? Two. One to screw in the light bulb and one to keep the first one from sticking his finger in the live socket.humorbanana

How many paranoids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Hey! are you following me?!!?

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
One, but he must consult the DSM-IV.

 

~THE 10 COMMANDMENTS OF MANIC-DEPRESSION~

1.Thou shalt not blame everything on chemical imbalance.
2.Thou shalt avoid high places and sharp objects when on either
extreme of the mood spectrum.
3.Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s shiny trinkets.
4.Thou shalt not trust any shrink who writes thee up a prescription
after the first 15 minutes.
5.Thou shalt not beat up anyone while on a manic fit, no matter how
much ye really want to, or how much they deserve it.
6.Thou shalt not indulge in immorality whenever the urge strikes thee.
7.Thou shalt not break stuff that does not belong to thee.
8.Thou shalt go to bed only when ye feel tired.
9.Thou shalt allow others to occasionally get a word in edgewise.
10.Thou shalt not send people crazy e-mails at odd hours of the night,
and if thou does, then thou shalt take full responsibility for thine actions.