“For the kind of sorrow God wants us to experience leads us away from sin and results in salvation. There’s no regret for that kind of sorrow. But worldly sorrow, which lacks repentance, results in spiritual death.”
2 Corinthians 7:10, NLT
“You will have mercy on us again;
You will conquer our sins.
You will throw away all our sins
into the deepest part of the sea.”
Micah 7:19, NCV
I’d probably go insane if all I could do is see my sin without a Savior.
“Properly remembering our past sins with shame will deter us from repeating them and help us receive God’s saving grace. When we recall our failures through the lens of Christ’s mercy, God produces in us ongoing repentance and deepening humility.”
–Robert D. Jones
I have walked in self-hatred for many years. I know all about loathing, fear, and paranoia over my many sins. These things have handicapped me spiritually, and hating yourself is a terrible way to live. My struggles with guilt and regret have deepened my sense of despair and depression.
I find that I am ashamed of my shame.
I have included the lyrics to Bob Bennett’s song “Lord of the Past” in this post. He is a gifted songwriter and an exceptional guitar player. (I can’t find it on Youtube.com). If you’re like me, you will find that you resonate with those who have been assaulted in the past.
We now speak a common language, and we understand each other.
We are those whom Jesus has completely forgiven.
LORD OF THE PAST
Bob Bennett
© 1989 Matters Of The Heart Music (ASCAP)
Every harsh word spoken
Every promise ever broken to me
Total recall of data in the memory
Every tear that has washed my face
Every moment of disgrace that I have known
Every time I’ve ever felt alone
Lord of the here and now
Lord of the come what may
I want to believe somehow
That you can heal these wounds of yesterday
(You can redeem these things so far away)
So now I’m asking you
To do what you want to do
Be the Lord of the Past
(Be the Lord of my Past)
Oh how I want you to
Be the Lord of the Past
All the chances I let slip by
All the dreams that I let die in vain
Afraid of failure and afraid of pain
Every tear that has washed my face
Every moment of disgrace that I have known
Every time I’ve ever felt alone
Well I picked up all these pieces
And I built a strong deception
And I locked myself inside of it
For my own protection
And I sit alone inside myself
And curse my company
For this thing that has kept me alive for so long
Is now killing me.
And as sure as the sin rose this morning,
The man in the moon hides his face tonight.
And I lay myself down on my bed
And I pray this prayer inside my head
Lord of the here and now
Lord of the come what may
I want to believe somehow
That you can heal these wounds of yesterday
So now I’m asking you
To do what you want to do
Be the Lord of my Past
You can do anything
Be the Lord of the Past
I know that you can find a way
To heal every yesterday of my life
Be the Lord of the Past.
Broken Believers 
Bryan, I think that in Christian circles it is acceptable for Christians to have a past as long as it was bad stuff pre Christ. That makes for a good testimony. I have to confess that while I don`t have trouble believing I could be forgiven and ministered to over things I did pre Christ, washed, cleansed and restored, its harder for some reason for me to believe that after God invested all that in me and I still really messed it up badly, that He would be willing to do it AGAIN. Especially if we`ve done willful impulsive things that we knew better than to do, sometimes out of sheer rebellion or reactivity, and committed that, now that we know Him, we would be faithful and never go that harmful way again. We promised that now that we knew the truth, we would be different. But instead we continued being the same, though not happy about it.
I suppose I am thankful that Peter`s story of promising Jesus that, even if all OTHERS forsook Him, he, Peter surely would not, is included in scripture. We all know that Peter chose to cover his own rear and denied Jesus, even after knowing Him, believing in Him and seeing many convincing proofs of who He was, face to face ,up close and personal. Even after walking on the water. And the story of the prodigal son, who was a member of the father`s household and who took the father`s blessings meant to set him up for life and squandered it on selfish idiotic living. I`ve heard that story told as if its a come to Jesus salvation story for unbelievers but I don`t think its actually about unbelievers. And isn`t Jesus standing at the door of His own church knocking in Revelation? How I wish the church was a lot more honest about how real and deep the struggle with sin and depravity is, instead of making it look like once you come to Jesus you only have mild failures if any. Well I`ve rambled on, so thanks for considering my thoughts :)
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LORD OF THE PAST by Bob Bennett; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RrkKhW7wCM8
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