Sunday Funnies 4, the Internet Addict

addict

Signs You Are an Internet Addict 

1.) You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.
 
2.) You step out of your room and realize that your parents have moved and you don’t have a clue as to when it happened.
 
3.) Your bookmark takes 15 minutes to go from top to bottom.
 
4.) Your nightmares are in HTML and GIFS.
 
5.) You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling,  like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.
 
6.) You start introducing yourself as “Jim at net dot com”
 
7.) Your heart races faster and beats irregularly each time you
see a new WWW site address on TV.
 
8.) You turn on your intercom when leaving the room so you can
hear if new e-mail arrives.
 
9.) Your wife drapes a blond wig over your monitor to remind you
of what she looks like.
 
10.) All of your friends have an @ in their names.
 
11.) When looking at a web page full of someone else’s links,
you notice all of them are already highlighted in purple.
 
12.) Your dog has its own home page.
 
13.) You can’t call your mother… She doesn’t have a modem.
 
14.) You check your mail. It says “no new messages.” So you
check it again.
 
15.) Your phone bill is a heavy as a brick.
 
16.) You write your homework in HTML and give your instructor the URL.
 
17.) You don’t know the sex of three of your closest friends,
because they have neutral nicknames and you never bothered to ask.
 
18.) Your husband tells you that he has had the beard for 2 months.
 
19.) You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop and
check your e-mail on the way back to bed.
 
20.) You tell the kids they can’t use the computer because
“Daddy’s got work to do” — even though you don’t have a job.
 
21.) You buy a Captain Kirk chair with a built-in keyboard and mouse.
 
22.) Your wife makes a new rule: “The computer cannot come to bed.”
 
23.) You get a tattoo that says “This body best viewed with
Netscape 3.0 or higher.”
 
24.) You never have to deal with busy signals when calling your
ISP… because you never log off.
 
25.) The last girl you dated was only a GIF.
 
26.) You ask a plumber how much it would cost to replace the
chair in front of your computer with a toilet.
 
27.) Your wife says communication is important in a marriage…
so you buy another computer and install a second phone line so
the two of you can chat.
 
28.) As your car crashes through the guardrail on a mountain
road, your first instinct is to search for the “back” button.
 

If you would like read  a much more serious article on Net Addiction, please see  http://psychcentral.com/netaddiction/

Bryan’s B.B. Thoughts, Friday

It’s still a gray day, here in Alaska, and I’m dealing with some depression symptomology.  I’m glad I am being “held tight” by the Lord.  Phil. 1:6 is my promise that He won’t give up, but continue His work, no matter what.

Watched a nature show last night.  It was about a submersible that is taken to the bottom of the sea.  In the pitch blackness it shines high intensity lights.  It has been able to film sea creatures that have not ever been seen before.  It was fascinating to watch.

This morning, in prayer I began to think about explorers, like for example

Exploring the Kingdom of God
Exploring the Kingdom of God

 “Lewis and Clark”.  They opened up the American west by their effort to move to the Pacific Ocean.  I was thinking about the journey, the effort we have to take as a “sojourner’, not a resident.

There must be “intentionality of purpose” to develop such an attitude.  I want the attitude of an explorer of spiritual truth.  Opening up new areas of the truth and experiencing the character of God.  Having renounced the world, we journey with the Spirit through the Word as investigators (and experiencers) of the truth.

Thanks to Jesus, who makes it possible by His blood  for us to enter into this new territory.

Sunday Funnies 3

 Humor_1Bumper Stickers

 

– Back Up My Hard Drive? How do I Put it in Reverse? . . . )

– I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

– Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don’t have film.

– When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.

– Seen it all, done it all, can’t remember most of it.

– Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don’t.

– I feel like I’m diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

– He’s not dead. He’s electroencephalographically challenged.

– You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will
be misquoted, then used against you.

– Honk if you love peace and quiet.

– Pardon my driving, I am reloading.

– Despite the cost of living, it remains very popular.

– Nothing is fool-proof to a sufficiently talented fool.

– Diplomacy is saying “nice doggy” until you find a rock.

– A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.

– Save the whales. Collect the whole set.

– Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

– On the other hand, you have different fingers.

– Change is inevitable. Except from a vending machine.

Anger @ God, Part 2

 

Job 15:12-13          

12 Why has your heart carried you away, and why do your eyes flash,

13 so that you vent your rage against God and pour out such words from your mouth?job1

 

 Is it wrong to be angry with God?  No.

 The problem comes when legitimate feelings of anger are not handled correctly and lead to inappropriate bitterness and rebellion which sometimes accompany anger. The Bible realistically portrays the frustration and anger of God’s people when things go wrong or when they cannot understand why certain things happen. This was the reason for Job’s anger. Not only did he feel he was being treated unjustly by God, but he could get no explanation from him.

Jonah’s anger over Neneveh’s repentance and the death of the shade-giving vine was inappropriate (Jonah 4). Twice the Lord questioned him, Have you any right to be angry? (Jonah 4:4,9). The prophet Jeremiah grew angry with God because of his persecution and the lack of response to his preaching. But he went too far when he accused God of lying (Jer. 15:18). Immediately, God told him to repent and stop uttering foolish words (15:19).

 Ultimately, that is where Job ended up. Though his suffering caused many questions and anguish, he went too far when he insisted that he had a right to an explanation. In the end, God spoke to Job and set him straight: God had the right to question Job, not the other way around (38:1-3). Job realized he had been arrogant and that his anger was unjustified. When confronted by the awesomeness of God, Job repented (42:6).

A sample from the best-selling Quest Study Bible. Copyright Zondervan Publishing House. All rights reserved. www.Zondervan.com. To order, click her