The Creation of Moms

While the Good Lord was creating Mothers, He was well into his sixth day of overtime. Then an angel appeared and said, “You’re doing a lot of fiddling around on this one!”

And the Lord said, “Have you read the specifications of this order? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic. Have 180 moveable parts, all replaceable. Run on black coffee and left overs. Have a lap that disappears when she stand up and a kiss that can cure anything from a broken leg to a disappointed love affair. Plus, she has to have six pair of hands!

The angel shook her head slowly and said, “Six pair of hands!!? Not possible!”

Oh, its not the hands that are causing me problems,” said the Lord. “It’s the three pairs of eyes that mothers have to have.”

“That’s on the standard model?” asked the angel.

The Lord nodded. “One pair that sees through closed doors when she asks, ‘What are you doing in there?’, when she already knows. Another here in the back of her head that sees what she shouldn’t, but what she has to know. And of course, the ones here in the front that can look at a child and reflect, ‘I understand, and I love’ , without so much as saying a word.

“Lord,” said the angel touching His sleeve gently, “Get some rest. Finish this tomorrow.”

I can’t,” answered the Lord. “I’m so close to creating something so close to Myself. Already I have one that heals herself when she’s sick. Can feed a family of six on one pound of hamburger and can get a nine year old to stand under a shower.”

The angel circled the model of the mother very slowly and sighed, “But it’s too soft.”

And yet she’s tough.” said the Lord excitedly. “You cannot imagine what the mother can handle or do!”

“Can it think?” asked the angel.

Not only think, but it can reason and compromise!” answered the Creator.

Finally the angel bent over and ran her fingers across the mothers cheek. ‘There’s a leak!” she pronounced. “I told you. You were trying to put to much in this model! You can’t ignore the stress factor.”

The Lord moved in closer to look and gently lifted the drop of moisture to His finger where it glistened and sparkled in the light. “It’s not a leak,” He said. “It’s a tear.”

“A tear?” asked the angel. “What’s it for?”

It’s for Joy, Sadness, Disappointment, Compassion, Pain, Loneliness and Pride.”

And the angel exclaimed, “You’re a genius!!!”

The Lord looked somber and replied, “I didn’t put it there.”

Source: Author Unknown

Photos Found: Hearts Touched

Making it work, no matter

 

I think it works this way
Sometimes just our shadows kiss

Beauty begins with pigments

 

 

Interesting
Dust on the Bible

Shaping our children
Dedicated to Micah Brittan, who at 4 years old went to be with Jesus
Following Jesus will change our political view
Its a simple, simple faith

Funnies: Am I Overprotective?

APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER

Print out and submit as per instructions at the bottom of the form.

 

1. Name :______________________ Date of Birth :______________

2. Height :___________________________

Weight :_______________________ GPA :________________

3. Social Sec. #_________________  Drivers

license#_____________________

4. Boy Scout Rank :__________________________

5. Home address :_______________________ City/ State_____________

6. Do you have one male and one female parent ? Yes _______ No _______

7. If no, explain :______________________________________________

8. Number of years parents married :_____________________________

9. Do you own a van ?______ A truck with oversized tires ?____

A water bed ?_______

10. Do you have an earring , nose ring , belly-button ring ?______ A tattoo ?_______

(If yes to any of #9 or #10, Discontinue application and leave premises …)

11. In ten words or less, what does LATE mean to you ?

___________________________________________

12. In ten words or less, what does Abstinence mean to you ?

______________________________________

13. In ten words or less, what does DON’T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER mean to you?

___________________________________________________

14. Church you attend :__________________ How often you attend :_____

15. When would be the best time to interview your Father, Mother, And Pastor ?

___________________

16. What would you want to be IF you grew up ?

_______________________________________________

 

Answer by filling in the blanks. Please answer freely – all answers are confidential  (that I won’t tell anyone – ever- I promise).

If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want wounded is in the

__________________________

If I were beaten the last bone I would want broken is my

________________________________________

The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is

___________________________________

When I first meet a girl, the thing I notice about her first

is_______________________________________

 

(Note: If answer begins with T or A, discontinue and leave premises: Keeping your head low and running in a serpentine fashion is advised. )

I SWEAR THAT THE INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF: NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, DEATH, AND DISMEMBERMENT.

Signature (that means your name, moron)

______________________________________________________

Thank you for your interest. Please allow 4 to 6 weeks for processing. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not attempt to call or write. If your application is rejected you will be notified by two gentlemen wearing white coats and carrying a violin case.

APPLICANT’S RIGHT THUMB PRINT IN BLOOD

 

 

Yule Time Humor

 This is a very eclectic gathering of Christmas humor.  These cartoons really shouldn’t offend.  But if they do I ask for your forgiveness and forebearance.  More then anything else, have a jolly Christmas full of light and faith. 

 

 

 

 

 

With much jocularity and with a Christmas love,