Computers in Alaska

Alaskan Computer Life

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Log on: Make the wood stove hotter.
Log off: Don’t add no more wood.
Monitor: Keep an eye on that wood stove.
Download: Getting the firewood off the truck.
Floppy Disk: What you get from trying to carry too much firewood.
Ram: The thing that splits the firewood.
Hard Drive: Getting home in the winter.
Prompt: “Throw another log on the fire”.
Window: What to shut when it’s cold outside.
Screen: What to shut during mosquito season.
Byte: What mosquitoes do.
Bit: What the mosquitoes did.
Megabyte: What BIG mosquitoes do.
Chip: Munchies when monitoring.
Microchip: What’s left after you eat the chips.
Modem: What you did to the weeds.
Dot Matrix: Old Dan Matrix’s wife.
Lap Top: Where kitty sleeps.
Mouse: What eats the food in your pantry.
Mainframe: What holds the house up.
Web: The things spiders make.
Web Site: The garage or attic.
Cursor: Someone who swears a lot.
Search Engine: What you do when the truck dies.
Screen Saver: A repair kit for the torn window screen.
Home Page: A map you keep in your back pocket just in case you get lost when hunting moose.
Upgrade: Driving up into Atigun Pass.
Sound Card: One of them technological birthday cards that plays music.
User: Buddy down the street who keeps coming over borrowing stuff.
Network: When you have to repair your fishing net.
Internet: Where the fish get caught.
Netscape: When a fish gets away.
On-line: When you get the laundry on the clothesline.
Off-line: When the clothespin lets go and the laundry falls on the ground.

alask15

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Brokenbelievers.com has hit a landmark. I want to encourage all those who visited, prayed, and corrected this ministry over our existence. You are loved!

Kyrie eleison,
Pastor Bryan Lowe
 
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Things That Took Me 50 Years to Learn, by Dave Barry

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by Dave Barry

  • If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be meetings.

  • You should not confuse your career with your life.

  • Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.

  • The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

  • The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

  • Your friends love you anyway.

  • A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)

  • Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

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“Always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies.”

2 Cor. 4:10, ESV

Somebody has been pulling your leg!  There isn’t any provision added to your contract with the Father that releases you from “any pain or duress while acting as a disciple while in this dark world.”  This “rider clause” doesn’t work, it has no validity or legal precedent–it simply is not true.

Not everyone agrees with me on this point.  But becoming a saint is not an automatic or a painless process.  Discipleship is like being mashed until you are soft and gracious inside, and that my friend, takes a lot of time and tears, in equal proportions.  Painless Christianity and spontaneous sainthood is definitely fiction.  It is a lie, and a crooked one at that.

Just pour a little water on it, and presto-chango!  And stand back and watch it grow.

Perhaps our “hi-tech” culture gives us false expectations.  We have the microwave, high-def  TV, fast food places and the computer/internet (my fave.)  I guess that I’m trying to say is that we think that there is a corresponding effect into spiritual things.  But there isn’t.

Spiritual growth or discipleship is a definite growth process.  The incredible redwood forests of Northern California where all once tiny, vulnerable seeds.  But something happened!  They grew and grew.  It took centuries to attain their amazing heights.  We see them in the present, the “now” –and never what they used to be.

Unquestionably, the life-giving, Holy Spirit can accelerate growth.  But the standard set in the Word is more like “slow and steady.”  Even God’s favorites in scripture had periods of waiting and testing.  I suppose that’s where faith comes in to play. All too often we look for a formula when we should be seeking an obedience.  (But honestly, formulas are fun– and nice, and clean and quick.)

Formula-istic faith isn’t really real, we just insist that it has to be.  But the Father has different plans for raising his children.  No shortcuts or detours, we walk through the floods and then we take a lap (or two) through the fire (my theory, this is to dry us off after the floods, lol.)  Otherwise, he would have to write an apology to the martyrs that came before us.

But I beg, and plead for you, to accept the real terms of your discipleship.  You will only fool yourself if you think instant is better then real.  But to accept the foolish may seem to be faith to some; but to walk through the darkness with just a candle takes real faith.  I’m not a “palm reader,” but I predict you are going to face hard times and challenges that will “rock your world.”

“Paul and Barnabas preached the good news in Derbe and won some people to the Lord. Then they went back to Lystra, Iconium, and Antioch in Pisidia. 22 They encouraged the followers and begged them to remain faithful. They told them, “We have to suffer a lot before we can get into God’s kingdom.”

Acts 14:21-22, CEV

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