Not Better Off Dead

A few weeks ago in response to a poetics prompt to write about a first time for something, I thought of something that I have only done once, and am thankful I’ve never had happen again. But there are people who have had this happen so many times they maybe can’t even remember the first time.

My prayers are with them, my hope that they recognize the lie that suicide is the answer to pain and suffering and that our loved ones would be better off if we were dead.

Not Better Off Dead

Clearly I recall the first time
the thought entered my mind
They’d be better off if I was dead

I immediately knew it was wrong
but still a method to my madness
began to form in the recesses of
my deeply troubled mind

I could picture the bottle of pills
designed to make me better
but could just as easily
be my demise

Then they’d be free, I’d be free

The Psalmist wrote
The angel of the LORD encamps around
those who fear him, and he delivers them

That first time His angel
was encamped around me

He delivered me from that first thought
made me know it was wrong
ensured it was the last time
that thought ever entered my mind

Now we are free and together
because the Lord let me know
I was not better off dead


Linda’s Blog.

I write candid memoir and fearless poetry and delve into hard issues others tend to avoid. I want you to know God’s redemption and healing are just a story away.

Author: Linda L. Kruschke

I am a Jesus Freak, and I don't care who knows it. I write candid memoir and fearless poetry, and delve into hard issues others tend to avoid. I want others to know God’s redemption and healing are just a story away.

2 thoughts on “Not Better Off Dead”

  1. Thank you, Linda, for ministering to us with this poem. I was just told of a father who’d committed suicide, leaving behind a wife and 6 kids. So so sad and my heart is breaking as I know he must have heard and believed that lie. God bless you. I’m am better off because you are here.


    1. Deb, This past August a kid from my son’s school committed suicide, too. It was heartbreaking because he had his whole life before him. I can’t imagine the loss his parents must endure now. We are all precious children of God and it makes me angry that Satan is able to deceive so many into believing their lives have no worth. Thank you for your prayers and encouragement. Peace, Linda


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