Pondering Panic

For me, a panic attack is almost a violent experience. I feel disconnected from reality. I feel like I’m losing control in a very extreme way. My heart pounds really hard, I feel like I can’t get my breath, and there’s an overwhelming feeling that things are crashing in on me.”

“It started 10 years ago, when I had just graduated from college and started a new job. I was sitting in a business seminar in a hotel and this thing came out of the blue. I felt like I was dying.”

“In between attacks there is this dread and anxiety that it’s going to happen again. I’m afraid to go back to places where I’ve had an attack. Unless I get help, there soon won’t be anyplace where I can go and feel safe from panic.”

Panic disorder is a real illness that can be successfully treated. It is characterized by sudden attacks of terror, usually accompanied by a pounding heart, sweatiness, weakness, faintness, or dizziness. During these attacks, people with panic disorder may flush or feel chilled; their hands may tingle or feel numb; and they may experience nausea, chest pain, or smothering sensations. Panic attacks usually produce a sense of unreality, a fear of impending doom, or a fear of losing control.

A fear of one’s own unexplained physical symptoms is also a symptom of panic disorder. People having panic attacks sometimes believe they are having heart attacks, losing their minds, or on the verge of death. They can’t predict when or where an attack will occur, and between episodes many worry intensely and dread the next attack.

Panic attacks can occur at any time, even during sleep. An attack usually peaks within 10 minutes, but some symptoms may last much longer.

Panic disorder affects about 6 million American adults and is twice as common in women as men. Panic attacks often begin in late adolescence or early adulthood, but not everyone who experiences panic attacks will develop panic disorder. Many people have just one attack and never have another. The tendency to develop panic attacks appears to be inherited.

People who have full-blown, repeated panic attacks can become very disabled by their condition and should seek treatment before they start to avoid places or situations where panic attacks have occurred. For example, if a panic attack happened in an elevator, someone with panic disorder may develop a fear of elevators that could affect the choice of a job or an apartment, and restrict where that person can seek medical attention or enjoy entertainment.

Some people’s lives become so restricted that they avoid normal activities, such as grocery shopping or driving. About one-third become housebound or are able to confront a feared situation only when accompanied by a spouse or other trusted person.  When the condition progresses this far, it is called agoraphobia, or fear of open spaces.

Early treatment can often prevent agoraphobia, but people with panic disorder may sometimes go from doctor to doctor for years and visit the emergency room repeatedly before someone correctly diagnoses their condition. This is unfortunate, because panic disorder is one of the most treatable of all the anxiety disorders, responding in most cases to certain kinds of medication or certain kinds of cognitive psychotherapy, which help change thinking patterns that lead to fear and anxiety.

Panic disorder is often accompanied by other serious problems, such as depression, drug abuse, or alcoholism.These conditions need to be treated separately. Symptoms of depression include feelings of sadness or hopelessness, changes in appetite or sleep patterns, low energy, and difficulty concentrating. Most people with depression can be effectively treated with antidepressant medications, certain types of psychotherapy, or a combination of the two.

 

Source: NIMH, Panic Disorder

A Crash Course in Depersonalization

Depersonalization is like having amnesia.  You don’t know who you are, you’ve “lost” yourself– your identity or your personality.  You try to jump-start yourself.  You pray, make deals with God, but it doesn’t help.  You are stuck.

There is a pervading feeling, like doom.  It saturates your thinking, flavoring everything with a sense of finality.  It is as difficult as you can imagine, to lose yourself– to become unreal to yourself.

Depersonalization is a symptom of an anxiety disorder and not a stand alone condition. How do we know this? Because depersonalization cannot exist without anxiety BUT anxiety can exist without depersonalization.

Depersonalization is caused by a shift in the part of the brain that provides us with a ‘real’ awareness of our environment; this part of the brain is directly linked to the Amygdala, the organ in the brain responsible for anxiety.

Terms commonly used to describe the symptoms and sensations of Depersonalization:

  • unreal
  • disembodied
  • divorced from oneself
  • apart from everything
  • unattached
  • alone
  • strange
  • weird
  • foreign
  • unfamiliar
  • dead
  • puppet-like
  • robot-like
  • acting a part
  • like a lifeless person
  • two dimensional
  • ‘cardboard’ figure
  • made of cotton-wool
  • having mechanical actions
  • remote
  • automated, a robot
  • a spectator
  • witnessing ones own actions as if in a film or on a TV program
  • not doing one’s own thinking
  • observing the flow of ideas in the mind as independent.

Treatment is to deal with the anxiety, depersonalization, although disturbing in itself, is not harmful. [Although the experts have never had to go through it].

As a Christian believer I reach out for the presence of God in this mental state.  Even though it is hard, I reach out in faith on the basis of His word; He will never leave or forsake me, He has forgiven me and not abandoned me.  That He understands my thinking from afar off.  These truths all strengthen me.

Being Held, Being Secure

Being Held, Being Secure

All that the Father gives Me will come to Me, and the one who comes to Me I will by no means cast out.  John 6:37

 

Being insecure is like sipping sulfuric acid from a teacup.  What we drink in is corrosive and harmful, when we think it is ok.  We become saturated with anxiety and overloaded with doubt.  We feel very unsure about ourselves, and become introspective to a fault.

Somehow verses like John 6:37 don’t work or apply to us.  Such is strength of our hopelessness.  It is durable and strong.  Christians who struggle with “feeling saved” have a formidable enemy just within themselves, not taking in Satan’s attacks on their mind.

This verse helps us understand some things.  First, there is a “chain of custody” in regards to spiritual headship.  What comes to the Father, gets transferred to the Son.  To enable this, there is something like a magnetic pull that people become drawn to Jesus.  (Aside note:  Jesus is wildly popular and esteemed among unbelievers; it is the Church that gives people heartburn!)

When we are attracted to Him, the pull intensifies.  We grow sensitive and more sure.  When we pass over that symbolic line we discover that we have great assurance of His love.  The statement is made, “I will by no means cast out.” 

“Every person the Father gives me eventually comes running to me. And once that person is with me, I hold on and don’t let go”. –John 6:37, The Message

“He holds on”!  He doesn’t let go!  This attachment of Jesus to us is strong  and sure.  Our issue comes when we focus on self and forget about Him.  Thinking exclusively about your sin, and weakness, and mental illness takes back to the “acid in a teacup” analogy.  But enough of that; let us live confidently, looking boldly on Christ and feeling His grip.  He can’t de-attach Himself.

Resting in God, Completely.

 
My soul rests in God

 The Lord my God hath given me rest on every side.
1 Kings 5:4

This was part of the preparation for the building of the temple. Times of quiet in one’s life should not be idle times. There is other work to do then. These are days for temple-building. 

True living is not all activity – struggle, conflict, gathering money, toiling with one’s hands. 

Building of character is the great work of life. This goes on best in the quiet. We ought not to wait for idleness to compel us to be still; we should get the quiet into our life even in our busiest times. We must have a restful spirit if we would build up the inner temple. There should be “silent times” in every day’s life. 

The secret of Daniel’s noble character, while carrying a great part of the burden of the kingdom of Babylon was that he never forsook the place of prayer. Not even fear of the lion’s den could make him neglect devotion. 

There is no other secret of a true and noble life amid the world’s strifes and trials. We must keep quiet within, that we may build up in our hearts the temple of God. -JR Miller