I Came to Love You Late [Regrets]


Regrets are a funny thing.

You really start to gather them when you’re middle-aged. I’m 62 now and am surprised (and somewhat disturbed) by my memories of things gone by. I guess this is one of the job hazards of getting old. But that’s the deal.

I guess what really bothers me the most are all the missed opportunities.

I wonder what life could have been like if I had accepted Christ at a younger age. A lot of pain would’ve been averted and perhaps I might have loved Jesus deeper than I do now. Some of us come to love Jesus late in life. There is so much time frittered away.

I regret the years spent in rebellion and disobedience. I remember the words of a 70-year-old man who had just received Christ, “Why did I wait so long for this to happen?”

“But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead,”

Philippians 3:13

Paul learned to adjust his vision to his calling. He no longer lets his past sin and regret define him, choosing rather forget the past and press into the future. He did understand his sin and guilt. He also knew that his sin was atoned for by Jesus’ blood. 

The solution to our regret is to focus on God’s total forgiveness. Past, Present, Future.

Paul clearly saw what lay ahead of him. Heaven was his destination, and, it’s our calling as well; it’s where we truly belong, made righteous in the loving presence of Jesus.

Peter tells us that our past sin was enough. We have wasted enough time doing evil. I don’t know about you, but I had a bellyful of sin, and it’s time for me to lay aside all my foolishness and rebellion and instead live for God. Enough is enough.

You have had enough in the past of the evil things that godless people enjoy—their immorality and lust, their feasting and drunkenness and wild parties, and their terrible worship of idols.”

1 Peter 4:3

Thinking about my past keeps me humble and broken (which is no small thing)! But it also cements me into the joy of His marvelous amazing grace. I now know Jesus’ love.

Oh the joy I have of being forgiven!

David, that great sinner-king, understood the joy of forgiveness. He wanted us to believe in it as well:

Oh, what joy for those
    whose disobedience is forgiven,
    whose sin is put out of sight!

Yes, what joy for those
    whose record the Lord has cleared of guilt,
    whose lives are lived in complete honesty!

Psalm 32:1-2

“We are to be re-made. All the rabbit in us is to disappear-and then, surprisingly, we shall find underneath it all a thing we have never yet imagined: a real Man, an ageless god, a son of God, strong, radiant, wise, beautiful, and drenched in joy.”

     C.S. Lewis


Geriatrics R Us, and Other Thoughts

I’m coming up to 50 and it seems very strange.  I have never gotten old before, so it is an adventure.  I guess for the first time I’m face-to-face with three things.

1)  I am older than most people I meet. 

A few weeks ago I attended the weekly pastor’s meeting for Homer.  I looked around and of the 7-8 pastors/elders I realized I was the oldest present.  It really felt strange.  I am no longer ‘looking to’ but am now ‘looking back’. But I still find myself thinking that old age is always 15 years older than where I am now.

2)  Time has become increasingly valuable. 

For the first time ever, I am operating with the sense that my time is slipping away.  It’s funny but I can’t watch TV anymore, because it uses time up.  It seems foolish to me.  The same with books and magazines.  (I even resent bathing, because of the time involved, lol.)  I get frustrated unlacing my shoes, because time is slipping away.  We think that as we get older, we will have patience.  That is decidedly not the case for me.

3)  I have an eternity with God and His faithful, ahead of me. 

The first two are somewhat automatic, they just seem to come when I am in a certain frame of mind.  But this one, #3,  comes when I pray.  Growing up I always had a fear of death.  Just thinking about it now, makes me a little edgy and anxious.  I need to hold on to the promises and actively anticipate heaven.

Growing old is weird.  Making the different transitions to age-appropriate concepts is a real hoot!  My hair is grey now, and I’m having issues with my hearing and my sight.  I really like to read the obituaries, especially noting the age of the deceased.  I’m also a big baseball fan, and it’s funny but I catch myself thinking that I could be the father of anyone of them.

Time rolls on, whether you like it or not.  It’s best to think about scrapping your earth suit.  Our present bodies are becoming obsolete.  The funny thing is, 100,000 years from now, we will look back at this time on earth and wonder what the heck that was all about. :-)

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