Category: endurance

Elijah Had Issues as Well

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Elijah and the Angel

“Then Elijah walked for a whole day into the desert. He sat down under a bush and asked to die. “I have had enough, Lord,” he prayed. “Let me die. I am no better than my ancestors.”

1 Kings 19:4

Poor Elijah.  He was bold and heroic, taking on the enemy at Mt. Carmel.  A mighty victory was amazing, but here he is, completely defeated and overpowered by his own fear and doubt.  How defeated was he?  We hear him begging to be allowed to die. 

He was overwhelmed.

You could say that Elijah was saturated with fear.  He could not resist taking on the conflict.  It seemed to him that everything was now directed at him.  He couldn’t take one step forward.  So, he folded.  Everything was affecting him on a personal level, and he was not built to take the load.

Many of God’s children come to this point.

He was shorting out.  His internal circuits were not designed for this.  He crumbles under the weight.  As we read the text, it all seems to be a bit off.  We shake our heads and wonder about strange Elijah.  We see him incapacitated by his doubt and fear.  But it doesn’t seem to us to be an issue.  The prophets of Baal wouldn’t deceive the Israelites anymore. After all, he had just achieved a fantastic victory that should propel him to the next encounter.

“Elijah was a human being just like us.”

James 5:17

The servants of the Lord are vulnerable.  As we step into the flow of God’s presence we will come “face-to-face “with things that are beyond us.  Often we will find ourselves pushed beyond our limits, backed in a corner and stripped of our weaponry.  Our enemies now turn to face us without fear of reprisal.

Our Father deals gently with a wounded servant.

Elijah had been crippled.  He had nothing more to give.  We can shake our head, and pass him by as a casualty of a spiritual war. But the funny thing is that God tells his story, he has been added to the narrative of scripture.  His falterings, and failings has become our focal point.  Elijah, with all his issues must be faced, and we must look at him.

We see the tenderness and gentleness of God as He deals with His bruised servant. God loves His broken believers. (1 Kings 19:12-13).

His Spirit is oh so gentle.

He comes whispering.  He lifts Elijah at Elijah’s pace.  A painful rebuke, and there isn’t a harsh word of correction, it is not even considered.  Our Father deals carefully with a wounded servant.  Elijah would go on to serve Jehovah.  Elijah would be a changed man.

God had mended him.

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(Background: 1 Kings 18-19)

Facing Down Your Dragon

“For I am ready to fall,
    and my pain is ever before me.”

Psalm 38:17

Over 85 million Americans live in chronic pain. That’s amazing. Maybe you’re one of them and maybe you just want to understand — perhaps you have a friend or family member who is hurting. They’re facing their dragon and that can be a challenge.

Pain can be constant, or, it can be intermittent. It shows up unpredictably. One never knows when. But believe me, it is terribly real, even if it’s not continual. I look at my dragon in the eye far too often. Way too often.

There are different kinds and various levels to it. Healthcare people often use the Numerical Rating Scale (NRS). Pain is ranked by numbers between 1-10, the higher the number the greater the pain.

Christians are part of that 85 million. We’re not immune just because we believe in Jesus. Some of us will hurt.

Coping with Chronic Pain

  • Learn all you can about your particular issue. I’m constantly looking and hopefully learning all I can, I want to be an expert. Research things. Google and Wikipedia can be deep reservoirs of knowledge.
  • Learn how to worship and pray in a brand new way. Things have changed now and seeking Him becomes a challenge, and, it can be easier.
  • Insomnia
  • Depression or anxiety, or both.
  • Fatigue, or stress.
  • Mood swings.
  • Doctors and meds.

Advice to Caregivers

I have to warn you, severe pain can make your dear one irrational. Pain can get so intense that you will find it impossible to relate to the sufferer. I once had a fierce battle with Complex regional pain syndrome (CRPS) in both forearms. Most doctors rate this as one of the worst types of pain to have.

Morphine didn’t help. Lynnie (my wife) could only watch and pray as the dragon kept attacking me, over and over. She watched me writhe in pain and she was pretty much helpless.

I was very angry, wildly rude and terribly mean. I was frustrated because I couldn’t communicate how bad the pain was. Over and over I tried to share how I was feeling, but words were not enough.

Some advance the idea that you need to find enough faith to be healed, but what about having enough faith to live in constant pain?

“Pain is no evil, unless it conquers us.”

     Charles Kingsley

When God Doesn’t Heal You

“We like to talk about having the faith to be healed – what about the faith to be sick?”

Mike Mason

God heals. Of that I have no doubt. We have many promises and see so much actual healing in Scripture. Jesus’ ministry would connect with hundreds of people who would be physically touched. The Lord would pass the baton on to His Church. We’re called to “lay hands on the sick,” (James 5:14-15).

But not everyone who is sick will receive physical healing. Even those who were active in ministry knew sickness.

In the second episode of season 3 of “The Chosen,” Little James, who we’ve seen walks with a limp, comes to Jesus after He commissions the Apostles. He tells him he finds it hard to believe that he will be healing people, given that Jesus hasn’t healed him.

“Do you want to be healed?” asks Jesus.

“Yes, of course,” James says, “if that’s possible. Why haven’t you?” he asks Jesus—again, a question some of us would’ve asked.

“Because I trust you,” Jesus says. “Little James. Precious Little James. I need you to listen to me very carefully, because what I am going to say defines your whole life to this point and will define the rest of your life. Do you understand?”

Jesus tells James that he will heal many people, and they will have a good story to tell.

“To know how to proclaim that you still praise God in spite of this—to know how to focus on all that matters, so much more than the body—to show people that you can be patient with your suffering here on Earth, because you know you’ll spend eternity with no suffering—not everyone can understand that. How many people do you think the Father and I trust this with? Not many.”

“But the others,” James says, “they are so much more … stronger, better at this.”

“James, I love you,” Jesus says, “but I don’t want to hear that ever again.”

“I know how easy it is to say the Psalm of David, that I am beautifully and wonderfully made, but it doesn’t make this any easier,” says James, begins to weep. “It doesn’t make me feel like any less of a burden.”

“When you pass from this earth,” Jesus says to James, “and you meet your Father in Heaven, where Isaiah promises you will leap like a deer, your reward will be great. So hold on a little longer. And when you discover yourself finding true strength because of your weakness, when you do great things in my Name in spite of this, the impact will last for generations. Do you understand?”

James cries, and says, “Yes. Thank you, Master.”

I believe that there are two truths that every Christian can count on. These are solid, and completely trustworthy. They are forever fixed and will never change.

One: God strengthens every believer.

“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10

Two: God will ultimately heal every believer.

“He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” Revelation 21:4

“I will trust Him. Whatever, wherever I am, I can never be thrown away. If I am in sickness, my sickness may serve Him; in perplexity, my perplexity may serve Him; if I am in sorrow, my sorrow may serve Him. My sickness, or perplexity, or sorrow may be necessary causes of some great end, which is quite beyond us. He does nothing in vain.”

     John Henry Newman  

A Very English Pigeon

“I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you.”

Psalm 32:8

In April 2002, I was sitting in a cavernous waiting room at King’s Cross in London, England.  I was waiting for a bus to Cambridge, UK.  I sat all alone and stared at the tiled floor at my feet.  The doctors had warned me not to travel alone, but I ignored their advice.

And now I was starting to really unravel.

Depression had followed me all the way from Alaska to England. I had pushed my limits and was completely drained and was becoming very confused.  I began to cry out to the Lord, very desperately. Sometimes madly. (Read Psalm 88.)

As I sat there staring intensely at the floor, several pigeons seemed to put on a show, just for me. They were fat little guys, apparently scratching out a good living. Several very large windows were open, and these pigeons seemed to have no fear as they took advantage of a meal from bored travelers.

All of a sudden something very odd happened. 

A pigeon came across the floor and “presented” himself, right square in front of me.  I watched him intently and saw that he was crippled, one of his feet was nothing more than a twisted claw.  He had been profoundly injured in such a way, that he would never be the same.  He was damaged, and yet somehow he was surviving, but even more, and he was thriving!

It was like experiencing a lightning bolt. God’s own light switch was being flipped.

I saw that pigeon, and I saw myself, and it was a moment of clarity, a shining grace.  In the mega-hustle of 13.6 million people in London, and in the midst of my own profound mental crisis, I knew God’s caring touch and it gave me real grace, love, and goodness–far greater than all my sin and confusion. He was just letting me know that He was very, very close. (See Psalm 34:18.)

I had seen my damaged pigeon, completely oblivious to self-pity.

I started to call out to the Father out of my confusion.  Within a few minutes, I found myself sitting on the top level of a double decker bus, with the driver aware of my problems and who specifically drove me to the place I was staying. 

I was being cared for. Between a crippled pigeon and the dutiful ministrations of a bus driver, I’d finally found my hotel. (See Matthew 6:26.) 

I have come to realize that this trip to England was not for me to see Big Ben, Parliament, or wander the academic schools of Cambridge University.  Rather I was brought there to make contact with a certain pigeon, who was waiting to meet me and pass on vital instructions. 

The Father shared things that I need to know.  British castles and churches are beautiful and worth seeing but I must admit I’ve forgotten much. I hope I can return someday.

But on this trip, all I really needed to see was a crippled English pigeon who was just waiting to meet me.