Category: pleasing God

A Used Heroin Needle

Clarion Alley, 1987

I lived in the inner city of San Francisco from 1986-1989. I was a full-time missionary and lived in community called SOS. There were about 10 believers, and we were committed to doing high visibility evangelism, “taking the Church on the street.” We all lived in an old Victorian in the Mission district. 

I will not minimize the difficulty and danger of the streets combined with our ministry’s approach. Not only was it hard, but we also lived in a hard place. Our neighbors were heroin addicts, and we lived just a couple of doors down from the “largest lesbian rock-roll bar west of the Mississippi.”  

Directly behind our house was an alley that was as bad as you can imagine; addicts and winos had basically taken over. It was full of trash, feces, and urine. And in the hot summer it would make your eyes water. It really was awful. 

Please keep reading. 

One hot summer day I decided to clean up part of our alley. Armed with an old broom, laundry detergent, a hose (and courage) I headed out to scrub away. It took some doing; it was somewhat nauseating. 

I noticed a small hole in the corner of the wall. I reached in to discover a well-used heroin needle hidden inside. I ran that needle into my hand. 

I really didn’t think much about it at the time. 

About six months later I was in San Francisco General outpatient for AIDS testing. I had been terribly tired and had lost some weight. Perhaps I had been infected? It was funny but a part of all of this was having to sit in a circle with a dozen gay men being instructed about safe sex practices. (I remember bananas and condoms were used.) 

It was 1987, and AIDS testing was still primitive; it took 6 weeks for the results. 

That wait was a bit of a challenge. I cried out to the Lord many times. Since the symptoms got even worse, I started to think the worse. I was thinking, “was this considered martyrdom?” or “I can’t ask Lynn to marry me now.” (I had been thinking about this up to then.) 

I was positive that I had AIDS. 

About 20 years later I discovered I had contracted HCV, Hepatitis C. I had a good doctor who knew his stuff. Although my liver had been damaged by that point, he guided me through a maze of testing and found a new med that was supposed to have good results. It did, thank God. I had finally been cured. 

Lynnie and I were married on January 7, 1989. 

What can I say really? I know the Lord directly intervened. We returned to Alaska where I was asked to teach at the Alaska Bible Institute. I was able to draw on my many experiences with SOS in San Francisco to touch the hearts of young men and women going into ministry. 

Lynnie and I went on to pastor a Church in 2000. 

Only God can bring good out of something bad. 

“O Lord my God, I cried to You for help, and You have healed me.” 

Psalm 30:2 

“Christ is the Good Physician. There is no disease He cannot heal; no sin He cannot remove; no trouble He cannot help. He is the Balm of Gilead, the Great Physician who has never yet failed to heal all the spiritual maladies of every soul that has come unto Him in faith and prayer.” 

 James H. Aughey 

For info about SOS Ministries–sosmin.com

I Know He Loves Me (But is that Enough?)

Gods-love

“Yet Jerusalem says, “The Lord has deserted us;  the Lord has forgotten us.”
Never! Can a mother forget her nursing child?  Can she feel no love for the child she has borne? But even if that were possible,    
 I would not forget you! 16 See, I have written your name on the palms of my hands. Always in my mind is a picture of Jerusalem’s walls in ruins.”

Isaiah 49:14-16, NLT

Some of us need to be persuaded of God’s love. We are unconvinced. But Isaiah understands. We grasp the theology, but not the meaning. Our own native ideas keep us in disbelief. Perhaps the greatest liability we have as believers is this doubt that God really feels this way about us. But, He does.

Isaiah claims the impossible, yet grounds himself in what is real. The Father loves us and we’re His very own. Even if we don’t seem as holy as we ought to be. In His out reached hands, we discover scars.  This is the price He has purchased us with. We once were blind, and very lost— but now we are His own children and can see.

God may love me. But does He like me?

We are given the impression that He more than ‘loves’ us; He ‘likes’ us. That dear ones, is not a point I’m prepared to support it with scripture, but that isn’t the truth, it doesn’t exist except in my own thinking. I know that He theologically loves me. But to be really honest I sometimes think that God is irritable with me, and He just gets tired of having me around.

But I also must believe God also likes me as well. Surely, there is such a fine line here, between ‘like’ and love. The more I walk with the Lord, and it’s been over 50 years now, the more I love/like Him. I have learned to like Him as much as I love Him. And if God doesn’t like me, I think it actually diminishes His love.

Isaiah speaks for the Lord using tender metaphors. Among the people some had the mindset that God had somehow forgotten them. They thought that they were ‘the lost ones.’

God then uses the analogy of a mother. A nurturing mother. This metaphor is strong and sure. No, God hasn’t forgotten His people. Look at His hands, your name is ‘tattooed’ on them. You’re His, forever. (I hope you like that truth.)

“In math, if you divide an infinite number by any number, no matter how large, you still have an infinite quotient. So Jesus’ love, being infinite, even though it is divided up for every person on earth, is still infinitely poured out on each one of us!” 

Charles Spurgeon

bry-signat (1)

He’s Inside You, Ephesians 3

“For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, 15 from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, 16 that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, 18 may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth,.

Prayer does what preaching can’t. Some need a reminder. This idea of being “rooted and grounded in love” is crucial to growing up Christians. And it most often happens when the preacher is driven to his knees by a sticky situation.

After many years of teaching I see that it has certain limits, but prayer drives discipleship home

You must settle on this spiritual fact, only a disciple can make a disciple. Too many preachers are developing believers who don’t understand a prayer life. They end up using the pulpit (and the worship) as their sole ‘means of support.’ I can guess you can see how tragic this becomes.

A prayer meeting is almost unheard of lately. The focus has shifted I suppose, but I still believe that there are still small groups of Christians who believe that both doctrine and prayer are God’s way of growing us up into His image.

Strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 

Prayer is Paul’s way of building up the Ephesian church. In my personal opinion, he was locked up in a Roman prison for a couple of good reasons–the first is that he would discover he could disciple at a distance. Paul seems to understand this, and he rediscovers the way of intercession.

Prayer for Paul becomes a tool of considerable force.

Ephesians 3 papyrus from c. 275 A.D.

from wikipedia.org

The “inner being” is what he’s aiming at, and it’s Paul’s way of touching the heart of anyone the Holy Spirit is dealing with. Mr. Dry Eyes will never reach the hearts that the Father is working in. Rather it is tears, not impeccable logic or great theology that completes the work.

So that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love,

The immense power is Jesus living inside us. Faith is God’s own key that He gives. Love is our root; it helps us grow. It gives us stability which is critical living in a confused and fallen world.

“The church that is not jealously protected by mighty intercession and sacrificial labors will before long become the abode of every evil bird and the hiding place for unsuspected corruption. The creeping wilderness will soon take over that church that trusts in its own strength and forgets to watch and pray.” A.W. Tozer

A.W. Tozer

It’s Time to Share

“The apostles returned to Jesus and told him all that they had done and taught.”

Mark 6:30, ESV

You could never find a more astonished group of men in Israel. Going out 2×2 they shared their faith and performed miracles. They had returned at the predetermined time to be with Jesus. They had travelled and witnessed to hundreds.

I believe that the Lord desires that we come to Him and share the details of our day.  The things that happened–in His name, and in our heart. We are His witnesses, plain and simple. And we should tell Jesus all that we did, how we touched others, how we endured temptations, or even failed Him.

But as we tell Him about these things, He can transform them so good will come.  Difficulties that we encounter are also to be shared.  He is fully absorbed with us, and He devotes Himself to you during these times. I believe that He even understands when we come back carrying nothing.

This “inventory” requires you to be honest, and completely forthright, for He already knows all. Jesus is wonderfully attentive; as we share and release things to Him (in His name), we become more like Him. We do what He has done already.

To be a witness is our true calling. We probably won’t ever get it right. But we must remember that His treasure is in clay pots.

What God is bringing you through will be your testimony that just might bring someone else to Him. Without your witness of Jesus’ love they may never find Him. That is terribly tragic.

Your story is the key that can unlock someone else’s prison. Touch others with your testimony.

“But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes upon you. And you will be my witnesses, telling people about me everywhere—in Jerusalem, throughout Judea, in Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.”

Acts 1:8