“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”
“It’s unfortunate and I really wish I wouldn’t have to say this, but I really like human beings who have suffered. They are kinder.”
She has nailed down a thought here. It is only a starting point, a beginning that one should work-out, over and over. We begin at this realization that there can be a definite link between suffering and kindness. It’s like two wheels of a bicycle.
I’m in love with kind people. All the people I have met who were truly wonderful, had very kind hearts. Kindness set them apart.
Historically, kindness was regarded as one of the “Knightly Virtues” of medieval times. Having it was to be a mark of chivalry. In theology, it was one of seven virtues, that mirrored the “Seven Deadly Sins.” It seems to me that believers who practice kindness are to be regarded as part of a spiritual nobility.
This connection between suffering and kindness isn’t so much as a “cause and effect,” but rather a ‘fruit’ which has to ripen, or mature. Pain is not always this productive in our lives. It can bring bitterness and loss as easily as it can bring kindness and gentleness. And many of us who struggle with mental illness or substance abuse understand this all to well.
The apostle Paul was right to link his sufferings to spiritual growth. If you can do this you are moving in the right direction. It will not lift you out of the pain; you will still have the sense of being overwhelmed, but you will see through it with the eagle eye of faith.
Why is it that so many who have suffered, will go on to become kind people?
It may have to do with two dynamic principles. The first metaphor would have to be the smelter/the potter. These are significant because they illustrate how believers are always in process. We are in flux, either moving under the hand or under the heat.
The second metaphor is the grape vine dresser/bread maker. These strike me as harsh, although it may not always feel that way. But both are definite “hands-on” from a supervisory source–the Holy Spirit.
Suffering is a lot like learning another language. Some days it will just click, and then other days you can’t remember your previous lesson. But if you are really patient you will learn to speak the dialect of suffering. Learning languages can open up the world to you. If you learn to speak “suffering” you will be able to touch the hearts of millions.
But there needs to be patience. You must wait for “kindness.” Transformation will never be smooth or easy. There are no switches for God to flip to make you Christlike. You will not wake up tomorrow morning with the character of Jesus–his mercy, love, wisdom and kindness. I’m sorry. (Choose to dispute this, and I will let you.)
“I prefer you to make mistakes in kindness than work miracles in unkindness.”
Mother Teresa’s counsel
“God has chosen you and made you his holy people. He loves you. So you should always clothe yourselves with mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.”
Col. 3:12, NCV
- An Open Letter to My Daughters (youlooktired.wordpress.com)
- The Gravity of the Gospel Truth (inlovewematter.wordpress.com)
- Why Romantic Suffering is a Thing of the Past (bigthink.com)
- The 31 Rules of Courtly Love (Is Chivalry Dead? Part 2) (goodguyswag.com)