Photos Found: Hearts Touched
Category: internet
Funnies: Am I Overprotective?
APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER
Print out and submit as per instructions at the bottom of the form.
1. Name :______________________ Date of Birth :______________
2. Height :___________________________
Weight :_______________________ GPA :________________
3. Social Sec. #_________________ Drivers
license#_____________________
4. Boy Scout Rank :__________________________
5. Home address :_______________________ City/ State_____________
6. Do you have one male and one female parent ? Yes _______ No _______
7. If no, explain :______________________________________________
8. Number of years parents married :_____________________________
9. Do you own a van ?______ A truck with oversized tires ?____
A water bed ?_______
10. Do you have an earring , nose ring , belly-button ring ?______ A tattoo ?_______
(If yes to any of #9 or #10, Discontinue application and leave premises …)
11. In ten words or less, what does LATE mean to you ?
___________________________________________
12. In ten words or less, what does Abstinence mean to you ?
______________________________________
13. In ten words or less, what does DON’T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER mean to you?
___________________________________________________
14. Church you attend :__________________ How often you attend :_____
15. When would be the best time to interview your Father, Mother, And Pastor ?
___________________
16. What would you want to be IF you grew up ?
_______________________________________________
Answer by filling in the blanks. Please answer freely – all answers are confidential (that I won’t tell anyone – ever- I promise).
If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want wounded is in the
__________________________
If I were beaten the last bone I would want broken is my
________________________________________
The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is
___________________________________
When I first meet a girl, the thing I notice about her first
is_______________________________________
(Note: If answer begins with T or A, discontinue and leave premises: Keeping your head low and running in a serpentine fashion is advised. )
I SWEAR THAT THE INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF: NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, DEATH, AND DISMEMBERMENT.
Signature (that means your name, moron)
______________________________________________________
Thank you for your interest. Please allow 4 to 6 weeks for processing. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not attempt to call or write. If your application is rejected you will be notified by two gentlemen wearing white coats and carrying a violin case.
APPLICANT’S RIGHT THUMB PRINT IN BLOOD
Yule Time Humor
This is a very eclectic gathering of Christmas humor. These cartoons really shouldn’t offend. But if they do I ask for your forgiveness and forebearance. More then anything else, have a jolly Christmas full of light and faith.
With much jocularity and with a Christmas love,
Related articles
- The Virtual Yule Log (brokenbelievers.com)
21 Things That Are Worth Doing
1.Marry the right person. This one decision will determine 90% of your happiness or misery.
2.Work at something you enjoy and that’s worthy of your time and talent.
3.Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
4.Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.
5.Be forgiving of yourself and others.
6.Be generous.
7.Have a grateful heart.
8.Persistence, persistence, persistence.
9.Discipline yourself to save money on even the most modest salary.
10.Treat everyone you meet like you want to be treated.
11.Commit yourself to constant improvement.
12.Commit yourself to quality.
13.Understand that happiness is not based on possessions, power or prestige, but on relationships with people you love and respect.
14.Be loyal.
15.Be honest.
16.Be a self-starter.
17.Be decisive even if it means you’ll sometimes be wrong.
18.Stop blaming others. Take responsibility for every area of your life.
19.Be bold and courageous. When you look back on your life, you’ll regret the things you didn’t do more than the ones you did.
20.Take good care of those you love.
21.Don’t do anything that wouldn’t make your Mom proud.
I scraped this up from some corner of the internet, I don’t remember where though. I suppose a Christian believer might consider these scented with a self-help philosophy from the world. But as I read (and re-read) I can see many definite connections to definite Bible principles. But perhaps you should read aware and alert. Blessings to you! –B.
