Sunday Funnies: Men vs. Women

This explains a great deal

Arranged by topic, these observations will be having you think about the roles of men and women and how they differ.

SHOPPING: A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need.

WORRY: A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS: A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS: To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

BEAUTY: Men wake up as good-looking as when they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

CHANGE: A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, but she does.

MATURITY: Women mature much faster than men. Most 17-year old females can function as adults. Most 17-year old males are still trading baseball cards and giving each other wedgies after gym class. This is why high school romances rarely work out.

BATHROOMS: The typical man has six items in his bathroom – a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of Dial soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

OFFSPRING: A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and soccer games and romances and best friends and favorite foods and secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

DRESSING UP: A woman will dress up to: go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

This could also suggest a difference

LAUNDRY: Women do laundry every few days. A man will wear every article of clothing he owns before he will do his laundry. When he is finally out of clothes, he will wear a dirty sweatshirt inside out, rent a U-Haul and take his mountain of clothes to the Laundromat. Men always expect to meet beautiful women at the Laundromat. This is a myth perpetuated by re-runs of old American sitcoms.

EATING OUT: When the check comes, Mike, Dave, Rob and Jack will each throw in $20 bills, even though the total bill is only $22.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their check, out come the pocket calculators.

MENOPAUSE: When a woman reaches menopause, she goes through a variety of complicated emotional, psychological, and biological changes. The nature and degree of these changes varies with the individual. Menopause in a man provokes a uniform reaction – he buys a motorcycle and/or a Porsche and flirts with pretty young girls.

TOYS: Little girls love to play with toys. Then when they reach the age of 11 or 12, they lose interest. Men never grow out of their obsession with toys. As they get older, their toys simply become more expensive and impractical. Examples of men’s toys: little miniature TV’s. Complicated juicers and blenders. Graphic equalizers. Small robots that serve cocktails on command. Video games. Anything that blinks, beeps, and requires at least 6 “D” batteries to operate.

JEWELRY: Women look nice when they wear jewelry. A man can get away with a watch and one ring. That’s it. Any more than that and he usually looks ridiculous.

TIME: When a woman says she’ll be ready to go out in five more minutes, she’s using the same meaning of time as when a man says the football game just has five minutes left. Neither of them is counting time outs, commercials, or replays.

FRIENDS: Women on a girl’s night out talk the whole time. Men on a boy’s night out say about twenty words all night, most of which are “Pass the Doritos” or “Got any more beer?”

RESTROOMS: Men use restrooms for purely biological reasons. Women use restrooms as social lounges. Men in a restroom will never speak a word to each other. Women who’ve never met will leave a restroom giggling together like old friends. And never in the history of the world has a man excused himself from a restaurant table by saying, “Hey, Tom, I’m going to the men’s room. Do you want to join me?”

The Challenge of ADHD

ADD/ADHD or Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder affects thirty to fifty percent of adults who had ADHD in childhood. Accurate diagnosis of ADHD in adults is challenging and requires attention to early development, and symptoms of inattention, distractibility, impulsivity and emotional changes.

ADHD Symptoms

 The most prevalent symptoms of ADD / ADHD are inattention and distractibility and/or hyperactive and impulsive behaviors. Difficulties with concentration, mental focus, and inhibition of impulses and behaviors are chronic and pervasive and impair an individual’s daily functioning across various settings — home, school or work, in relationships, etc.

Inattention

Individuals who are inattentive have difficulty staying focused and attending to mundane tasks. They are easily distracted by irrelevant sights and sounds, shift from one activity to another, and seem to get bored easily. They may appear forgetful and even spacey or confused as if “in a fog.” Organizing and completing tasks is often extremely difficult, as is sorting out what information is relevant versus irrelevant. An individual with inattentive symptoms may have great difficulty keeping up with items, frequently losing things and living life in a disorganized way. Time management is also often an issue. Inattentive behaviors are sometimes overlooked because they are often harder to identify and less disruptive than hyperactive and impulsive symptoms. An individual with the predominately inattentive type of ADHD may even appear sluggish, lethargic and slow to respond and process information.

Hyperactivity

Individuals who are hyperactive have excessively high levels of activity, which may present as physical and/or verbal overactivity. They may appear to be in constant motion, perpetually “on the go” as if driven by a motor. They have difficulty keeping their body still — moving about excessively, squirming or fidgeting. Individuals who are hyperactive often feel restless, may talk excessively, interrupt others, and monopolize conversations not letting others get in a word. It is not unusual for an individual with hyperactive symptoms to engage in a running commentary on the activities going on around them. Their behaviors tend to be loud and disruptive. This difficulty regulating their own activity level often creates great problems in social, school and work situations.

Impulsivity

Individuals who are impulsive have trouble inhibiting their behaviors and responses. They often act and speak before thinking, reacting in a rapid way without considering consequences. They may interrupt others, blurt out responses, and rush through assignments without carefully reading or listening to instructions. Waiting turns and being patient is extremely difficult for someone who is impulsive. They prefer speed over accuracy and so often complete tasks quickly, but in a careless manner. They go full swing into situations and may even place themselves in potentially risky situations without thought. Their lack of impulse control can not only be dangerous, but can also create stress in school/work and in relationships with others. Delayed gratification or waiting for larger rewards is very hard for an impulsive person.

Three Types of ADHD are Identified:

  • ADHD, Combined Type – Individual displays both inattentive and hyperactive/impulsive symptoms.
  • ADHD, Predominantly Inattentive Type – Symptoms are primarily related to inattention. Individual does not display significant hyperactive/impulsive behaviors.
  • ADHD, Predominantly Hyperactive-Impulsive Type – Symptoms are primarily related to hyperactivity and impulsivity. Individual does not display significant attention problems.

Related Conditions

As many as one third of children with ADHD have one or more coexisting conditions. The most common of these are behavioral problems, anxiety, depression, learning and language disabilities. Adults with ADHD show an even higher incidence of additional or accompanying disorders. These adults may also suffer from depression, mood disorders, substance addictions, anxiety, phobias or behavioral problems.

………………………………………………………………………………………….

Treatment options from About.com Health’s Disease and Condition content is reviewed by the Medical Review Board.

http://add.about.com/od/treatmentoptions/a/ADHDtreatment.htm

WebMD ADHD Information page.

http://www.webmd.com/add-adhd/guide/adhd-adults

ADHDNews page.

http://www.adhdnews.com/adult-adhd.htm

Site Update

Happy Thanksgiving!

Well, some good news.  NetworkedBlogs gives out rankings for the top 50 blogs on a variety of subjects.  I honestly have paid it no mind, because this is not about having good numbers or popularity.  I just want to be faithful.

Broken Believers was positioned #3 in a list of 50 under the topic of Bipolar Disorder and #1o under the subject of Depression.  I look and shake my head in amazement.  I did not imagine this.  I have simply challenged myself to write a good, honest blog that would touch Christians in a sensitive area in their lives.  Sometimes its been difficult, but most of the time it is a joy.

As of today, Tuesday, November 24th at 11:30 AKST we have had 1,387 hits.  We started counting Sept. 1. These are distinct hits and don’t include me as I meander through the site.

I guess we tapped into a real need thats out there.  Yesterday, I went ahead and purchased our new domain name, and moved the site.  We are now at brokenbelievers.com.  (Don’t worry, the old domain name will work for awhile.)

On a personal note; since I left teaching at ABI, and stepped out of being a full-time pastor, I thought I was finished.  All I have ever wanted to do is be a Pastor, and to have that taken away was like having an arm or a leg amputated.  I know I will never be a senior pastor again.  But, I’m ok with that (sorta).

If I can serve you in any way, please email me, or send it through the “post” option where it says “Leave a Comment”.  Thank you for your notes of encouragement, I save every single one of them.  (I delete the negative ones, however, lol)

God’s Red Bull

by Bryan Lowe

There is a real tendency for entropy as a follower of Jesus.  Things have a real tendency to wind down, and start moving in the opposite direction.  I think all of us can relate to the “Sunday Syndrome”.  In this truly wonderful world of fellowship, worship and the Word we seem to come together.  Life is good on a Sunday morning.  And it should be.

But we wind down, and by Thursday we have sinned and compromised a hundred times or more.  Life is not good on a Thursday afternoon.  Because of our mental illness this degradation downward is usually worse.  We experience a whole lot of shame and guilt.   And having issues with depression, anxiety, or OCD makes consistency even harder.  It is a challenge to maintain a credible Christian walk. It’s kind of the deflated feeling  four hours after downing three Red Bulls.

Paul, himself an interesting fellow, described his own personal walk with Jesus in Philippians 3:10f. in the Message Bible.

10-11I gave up all that inferior stuff so I could know Christ personally, experience his resurrection power, be a partner in his suffering, and go all the way with him to death itself. If there was any way to get in on the resurrection from the dead, I wanted to do it.

Focused on the Goal

 12-14I’m not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don’t get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I’ve got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I’m off and running, and I’m not turning back. 

Can you tap into that energy?  Paul is pretty aggressive here, he models a “muscular Christianity” that pushes through every obstacle, whether within or without.  Most of our translations use the word “work” when translating “effort”.  The Church fathers used the word “energy” instead.  There is a distinction.  Energy, or “energize” denotes an outside source for power.  I energize my electric razor when I plug it in at night.  It takes a charge and runs accordingly on demand.

We are to press in, and to reach.  We are to be energized by contact with God’s Spirit.  He fills us up, enables us to run full tilt, stretching and straining.  The muscles in the neck popping out, and lunging for the tape.  Paul was an athlete in the Spirit.

These days, developing a spiritual athleticism would not be such a bad idea.  We live in a society where 22 men desperately in need of rest, are surrounded by 40,000 people desperately in need of exercise.  We have become a society of observers and that is a shame.  God loves us, sent his only Son to die for us.  God sets us up with a energy-packed, Red Bull. And I respond with an anemic, 2% milk religion.  And that perhaps is the real tragedy.

 
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