Sunday Funnies: Pick-Up Lines

Christian Pick-up Lines for Singles

1) Nice bible.

2) I would like to pray with you.

3) You know Jesus? Me too.

4) God told me to come talk to you.

5) I know a church where we could go and talk.

6) How about a hug, sister?

7) Do you need help carrying your bible? It looks heavy.

8. Christians don’t shake hands, Christians gotta hug.

9) Oh you are cold, Ecclesiastes 4:11.

10) Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?

11) What are your plans for tonight? Feel like a bible study?

12) I am here for you.

13) The word says “Give drink to those who are thirsty, and feed the hungry.” How about dinner?

14) You don’t have an accountability partner? Me neither.

15) Do you want to come over and watch the Ten Commandments tonight?

16) Is it a sin that you stole my heart?

17) Would you happen to know a Christian woman (man) that I could love with all my heart and wait on hand and foot?

18) Nice bracelet (WWJD). What would Jesus date? I mean “do.”

19) Do you believe in Divine appointment?

20) Have you ever tried praying at a drive-in movie before?

21) Excuse me, I believe one of your ribs belongs to me.

22) My friend told me to come and meet you, he said that you are a really nice person. I think you know him. Jesus, yeah, that’s hisname.

23) You know they say that you have never really dated, until you have dated a Christian.

24) Yeah I predicted David over Goliath.

Sunday Funnies: A-B-Cs of a Christian’s Heart

A-B-Cs of a Christian’s Heart

A lthough things are not perfect
B ecause of trial or pain
C ontinue in thanksgiving
D o not begin to blame.
E ven when the times are hard
F ierce winds are bound to blow
G od is forever able
H old on to what you know.
I magine life without His love
J oy would cease to be
K eep thanking Him for all the things
L ove imparts to thee.
M ove out of “Camp Complaining”
N o weapon that is known
O n earth can yield the power
P raise can do alone.
Q uit looking at the future
R edeem the time at hand
S tart every day with worship
T o “thank” is a command.
U ntil we see Him coming
V ictorious in the sky
W e’ll run the race with gratitude
X alting God most high.
Y es, there will be good times and yes some will be bad, but…
Z ion waits in glory…where none are ever sad!

“Too blessed to be stressed!” The shortest distance between a problem and a solution is the distance between your knees and the floor. The one who kneels to the Lord can stand up to anything. Be Blessed.

Faith and Culture: Man Sues Bible ~ Mental Anguish

Man Sues Bible for Causing Him Mental Anguish

Sue God for causing me mental anguish

Can you sue the Almighty’s publishers?

 

If you can’t sue the Lord for libel, what are your options? A Michigan man is about to find out. Bradley LaShawn Fowler, 39, has filed lawsuits in a Michigan federal court against Zondervan Publishing and Thomas Nelson Publishing, claiming some editions of the Bibles those companies put out call homosexuality sinful, which has led him to suffer discrimination, emotional pain and mental instability.

“Defendant willfully caused me to endure acts of hate, discrimination, and loss of sleep, appetite, by structuring their New King James Bible to reflect God’s distaste of homosexuals,” Fowler wrote in his complaint against Thomas Nelson filed this week.

“By designing this product to promote hate and violence toward homosexuality, because such product is promoted as being the ‘authentic word of God,’ it is a design defect,” says Fowler’s lawsuit.

Fowler is seeking million from Zondervan, alleging their Bibles refer to homosexuality as a sin have made him an outcast from his family and contributed to physical discomfort and periods of “demoralization, chaos and bewilderment.” He is seeking million from Thomas Nelson.

The suit against Zondervan claims 1982 and 1987 editions of the publisher’s Bible declare homosexuality to be wrong in 1 Corinthians 6:9:”Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders.”

Fowler claims the term was edited out of the 1989 and 1994 editions, but consumers were not informed.

“This misrepresentation is a willful and deliberate tort. Fraudulently imposing a written defamation or libel in order to prevent me from marrying someone of the same sex in this state,” his lawsuit states. “This obvious coerced method of mind control and social dictatorship violates the religious [sacred] laws which prevent anyone from adding to the Biblical scriptures or from taking any words away from the text.”

Fowler levels similar allegations against Thomas Nelson regarding the company’s earlier versions of the New King James Bible.

The intent of the publisher was to promulgate a point of view to cause “me or anyone who is a homosexual to endure verbal abuse, discrimination, episodes of hate, and physical violence … including murder,” the lawsuit states.

Fowler said the editions of the Bibles he cites have destroyed his relationship with his family who refuses to support him because the Bible says homosexuality is a sin.

What do you think? Should the publishers of Bibles be held accountable for the pain inflicted by what many readers consider to be God’s word?

Source: http://newsblogs.chicagotribune.com/religion_theseeker/2008/07/can-you-sue-the.html

Into the Mud

 Into the Mud

We all need Jesus terribly.  A few of us have come to this conclusion based on God’s Word.  We have discovered that we have been negligent, and very much confused.  We have unplugged ourselves from the truth, and wandered into the maze of this world, stumbling in the dark.

Things are so distorted, that life has lost both purpose and meaning.  We come to the point where light has lost its distinctiveness and the shadows have become magnified.  A flood of confusion has made its way to truth’s walls.

As mentally ill people, operating from that viewpoint we are just as vulnerable as anyone else to deception.  If we open our hearts to everything life brings, we discover our vulnerability.  We are quite capable of disbelief. Our psychiatrist and therapist will very often create issues and conflicts.  I respect their gifts and insights.  But sometimes they can be stumbling blocks to real freedom.

But we have been called to the mud.  At first we clean ourselves from our prolonged stay in the mire.  It is great to stand on solid ground.  We are separated from sticky clay, and cleansed from our filth.  But there are so many left behind to wallow.  They may not even know it, but they are sinking.  We must reach out to them.

Our witness to those in the mud must be compassionate and bold.  Often, they act out of their confusion, and reduce truth to their own situation.  But we are called to be faithful, and to love them even in their lies.  Let’s not let their confusion affect us. There is simply too much at stake.

As witnesses to Jesus’ power, we are the only ones who can intervene.  Let us hold out the truth, and let us be those who are marked by faithfulness.  We must be courageous, we must be thinking clearly.  God intends to use us if we make ourselves available.  Even if that means we step back into the mud.

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