I’m coming up to 50 and it seems very strange. I have never gotten old before, so it is an adventure. I guess for the first time I’m face-to-face with three things.
1) I am older than most people I meet.
A few weeks ago I attended the weekly pastor’s meeting for Homer. I looked around and of the 7-8 pastors/elders I realized I was the oldest present. It really felt strange. I am no longer ‘looking to’ but am now ‘looking back’. But I still find myself thinking that old age is always 15 years older than where I am now.
2) Time has become increasingly valuable.
For the first time ever, I am operating with the sense that my time is slipping away. It’s funny but I can’t watch TV anymore, because it uses time up. It seems foolish to me. The same with books and magazines. (I even resent bathing, because of the time involved, lol.) I get frustrated unlacing my shoes, because time is slipping away. We think that as we get older, we will have patience. That is decidedly not the case for me.
3) I have an eternity with God and His faithful, ahead of me.
The first two are somewhat automatic, they just seem to come when I am in a certain frame of mind. But this one, #3, comes when I pray. Growing up I always had a fear of death. Just thinking about it now, makes me a little edgy and anxious. I need to hold on to the promises and actively anticipate heaven.
Growing old is weird. Making the different transitions to age-appropriate concepts is a real hoot! My hair is grey now, and I’m having issues with my hearing and my sight. I really like to read the obituaries, especially noting the age of the deceased. I’m also a big baseball fan, and it’s funny but I catch myself thinking that I could be the father of anyone of them.
Time rolls on, whether you like it or not. It’s best to think about scrapping your earth suit. Our present bodies are becoming obsolete. The funny thing is, 100,000 years from now, we will look back at this time on earth and wonder what the heck that was all about. :-)
Broken Believers 