Tag: trials

Dealing with Arguers

“Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy”

Hebrews 12:14, TNIV

 

For me personally, someone in my face can be nasty and irritating.  It seems I can never say enough.  I simply don’t get any sense of having “convinced” them of my position or views.  I maintain composure (I try, anyway) and then ignite when its all over.

Inevitably, I start playing the whole ugly argument over and over.  Often, if I feel quite vulnerable, I will enlist my dear wife’s availability.  She comes to my side, where I find the support I wanted.

Intense arguments can derail me from so much.  Going to scripture in this frame of mind does me no good at all.  When I’m in this place, prayer becomes unplugged (kind of like my exercise “treadmill.”)  I sit in my chair and simmer, and occasionally boil over.

What do I need most?

  • Humility
  • Gentleness, and sensitivity
  • Kindness  
  • Pre-planning, or pre-alignment of my heart
  • A sense of humor
  • Renunciation of my “rights” and privileges

 

A lot of things could be added to my quick list, that would be helpful.  Making cookies, or doing new chores also sort out things.  If the issue is more mountain than molehill, find your way to an elder or a pastor.  But whatever you do, it’s best to keep moving.  So much is working to solidify you in one place.  It’s like walking through wet cement! (It’s best not to linger too long, in one place.)

Know this though.  Being in an argument or conflict is not sin.  They may disturb us, but we don’t necessarily have to sin.  Jesus had some whoppers in His day.  He walked into these conflagrations without a diminishing of peace or joy.  He walked out of them the same way.  He can teach us, by showing us how He did it.

Just one more thing (I’m trying hard to write a essay here.)  You don’t hear or read it very often–but, we all are models and examples to someone else.  Our children, neighbors, friends, the bank teller and our gym instructor.  Not that everyone knows of our issue, our frustration.  But that our lives are filled with a “joyous humility.”  I think what hurts me most is that I fear my witness or testimony has been damaged by my words and actions.

God is God of my everything.  He knows what happened.  He knows me, and knows them.  The sin does not impede His vision of you.  When he was on earth, he was never disturbed by any confict.  Today, he is the same.  Disputing with someone else– no problem.  He doesn’t get loose and cut you down in embarassment.  Brilliantly and lovingly, He absorbs all that concerns you.  He is more gentle than you know and kinder than any man, or woman. 

We Have No Control

Lord, I know that a man doesn’t control his own life.
      He doesn’t direct his own steps.

Jeremiah 10:23

 

As we step into what matters, we find this simple verse.  Simply put, we have no idea about control.  We step out in ignorance, we don’t understand this concept of turning one’s life over to someone else.  This grates against everything we profess to understand.

There is no control.  He declares Himself to be completely and utterly in charge.  At this point, we must back-off and just assume that He is in charge. There has been a determination at the highest of points.  We always are available to connect with Him at these levels.  We simply come and ask for all mercy that has been stated.

I don’t turn anything off.  I most certainly open my heart to all that is available and retrievable.  I can’t dwell on anything above and beyond this.  When He comes, He generates a dynamic that works its way into our hearts.

The simple fact is that we have been brought to a definite assurance of a divine life.  It is freely given.  We do nothing to deserve it.  We advance with this concept and idea cemented into our hearts.  Nothing can be offered, it has already been done so.  All we can do is to absorb the kindness that has been offered and then step tentatively forward.

My trust is in His character.   He comes to me and it makes perfect sense.  I start connecting the dots. And it makes me understand His goodness.  His love has been extended to me, and all I can do is turn to Him, and let Him in.  There is nothing but His love for me that can affect me in this way.

Even More Victory in Our Affliction

 

Reach for the tape

 So we plow on in this miniseries on “Victory in Our Affliction”. 

This is part 3.

 ***

Part 1 is here–https://brokenbelievers.com/2010/09/23/victory-in-the-middle-of-affliction/ 

Part 2 is here–https://brokenbelievers.com/2010/10/19/more-victory-in-our-affliction/

*****

Can Our Pain Produce Anything Good?

Our pain tells us we are growing in Christlikeness.  When we hurt often the Lord will draw quite close, with pain focusing our eyes to see Him, others and His Kingdom.  It is far from pleasant.  Diamonds are produced in confinement and pressure.  Our faith is like a precious jewel ‘in the making’. Gold has to be refined to make it pure .  “I tested you in hard times just as silver [or, gold] is refined in a heated furnace.” Isa. 48:10.  Both diamonds and precious metals have to be worked on before they are recognized as authentic.  Often, it will be a blast furnace of affliction.

“For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory.”  2 Cor. 4:17, NKJV

“These little troubles are getting us ready for an eternal glory that will make all our troubles seem like nothing.” 2 Cor. 4:17, CEV

We can hold a sense that our different afflictions are actually our employees who work for us.  They ‘prompt’ us for what we need at any given moment.  For example, we need to grow in love.  What does God do?  He sends us very difficult and frustrating people for us to love.  He sends us His best for us!  Our lessons are given to guide us into a Christlike identity.

The natural impulse is to regard our affliction as eroding our faith, or degrading it.  But the opposite is true.  Affliction is like the weight bars waiting for us in the gym.  The bar and weights do not have an agenda or impulse to defeat me.  They are there to help me.  The gym is a wonderful metaphor for us to grasp spiritual things.

“And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience.”  Romans 5:3, KJV

The word ‘patience’ simply means ‘endurance’.  And it seems we are starting all over in thinking that afflictions are evil, and to be avoided and rejected.  But actually the opposite is true!  We deal with the pain and frustration knowing it is working in us a ‘concentrated form of glory.’

“Knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.”  James 1:3

Essentially it is all ’cause and effect’ with our provisional acceptance to the Lord’s good intention, we let Him have His way with us.  It hurts, some may call it brutal, but it seems to be the only way for God to make us ready for eternity.

The Manna Test

Then the LORD said to Moses, “I will rain down bread from heaven for you. The people are to go out each day and gather enough for that day. In this way I will test them and see whether they will follow my instructions. 

 Exodus 16:4, NIV

 

Just imagine, for a moment, that it is raining bread outside right now!  We got to see this!  We run outside and and are pelted with rye, and caraway and pumpernickel.  Bread!  Its everywhere, all you want, just pick it up.  It piles up like a yeasty hail, and it doesn’t seem to diminish, its everywhere!  We call the kids, ‘Bring buckets, and clean garbage bags’!

God has directly intervened in the life of Israel.  He becomes the exclusive producer of manna to the children of Israel.  He decides to give, and then He pelts them with His goodness– bread, delicious bread, fresh and warm, and they say it comes from heaven!  This is the ultimate!  BREAD!  This is far beyond anything I could imagine.

But if we clear away the piles, and draw near to those whom we assume know something, we will be struck by a sense of the reality of God.  The others grab on the basic idea; but we are shaken, to the core.  We come out, clinging to a God who loves us and intensely cares for us.  ‘He is real, and He loves us!”  And all others can see– are the piles and piles of bread.

 God has done something drastic, something right  ‘on the edge of reason’.  We encounter Him, (or He encounters us) and we get involved, whether we like it or not.  The decision will be a foundational and a concrete one.  It really is much, much more than bread from heaven. But will we connect the dots?

Even though we see the supernatural bread piling up, we need to be aware we are being ‘tested’.  So much of this test, really isn’t one at all.  It’s the sixth day that catches us.  Do we, who have become dependent on this supernatural supply, trust Him to provide on the Sabbath?  Maybe He will he just ‘blink-out’ and leave us hanging?  Maybe we should gather more, before He fails us?

We have to come to this clear and classic place.  I believe it is the real starting point.  Exactly how will you accept “free bread”?  Will I honor Him through it all?  (We are being ‘tested’ folks.  We are on the ‘clock’.)  The rub comes when we just don’t see it.  We turn, not so much as to reject what is obvious, but to take on that which is authentic.  If we will just do this, we will pass the test.