Category: humility

Dealing with Arguers

“Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy”

Hebrews 12:14, TNIV

 

For me personally, someone in my face can be nasty and irritating.  It seems I can never say enough.  I simply don’t get any sense of having “convinced” them of my position or views.  I maintain composure (I try, anyway) and then ignite when its all over.

Inevitably, I start playing the whole ugly argument over and over.  Often, if I feel quite vulnerable, I will enlist my dear wife’s availability.  She comes to my side, where I find the support I wanted.

Intense arguments can derail me from so much.  Going to scripture in this frame of mind does me no good at all.  When I’m in this place, prayer becomes unplugged (kind of like my exercise “treadmill.”)  I sit in my chair and simmer, and occasionally boil over.

What do I need most?

  • Humility
  • Gentleness, and sensitivity
  • Kindness  
  • Pre-planning, or pre-alignment of my heart
  • A sense of humor
  • Renunciation of my “rights” and privileges

 

A lot of things could be added to my quick list, that would be helpful.  Making cookies, or doing new chores also sort out things.  If the issue is more mountain than molehill, find your way to an elder or a pastor.  But whatever you do, it’s best to keep moving.  So much is working to solidify you in one place.  It’s like walking through wet cement! (It’s best not to linger too long, in one place.)

Know this though.  Being in an argument or conflict is not sin.  They may disturb us, but we don’t necessarily have to sin.  Jesus had some whoppers in His day.  He walked into these conflagrations without a diminishing of peace or joy.  He walked out of them the same way.  He can teach us, by showing us how He did it.

Just one more thing (I’m trying hard to write a essay here.)  You don’t hear or read it very often–but, we all are models and examples to someone else.  Our children, neighbors, friends, the bank teller and our gym instructor.  Not that everyone knows of our issue, our frustration.  But that our lives are filled with a “joyous humility.”  I think what hurts me most is that I fear my witness or testimony has been damaged by my words and actions.

God is God of my everything.  He knows what happened.  He knows me, and knows them.  The sin does not impede His vision of you.  When he was on earth, he was never disturbed by any confict.  Today, he is the same.  Disputing with someone else– no problem.  He doesn’t get loose and cut you down in embarassment.  Brilliantly and lovingly, He absorbs all that concerns you.  He is more gentle than you know and kinder than any man, or woman. 

Seek Out the Gold

In the vault of the Holy Spirit
“He returned to Nazareth, his hometown. When he taught there in the synagogue, everyone was amazed and said, “Where does he get this wisdom and the power to do miracles?”
Matthew 13:54, NLT

 

Chapter 13 of Matthew is your very own gold mine.  There are veins of precious ore throughout these parables.  They will give their riches to anyone humble enough to seek them.  They each are concentrated truth–these parables are gold!

Parables are a fascinating way to impart teaching that requires a quiet and gentle heart.  Not everyone will gain access to them.  The truth in them will only touch the hungry heart, the real seeker.  It’s like they are locked up, and the Holy Spirit has the combination, but He will gladly share it with the sincere heart.

At this point in Jesus’ ministry, He arrives in His hometown.  He goes to the synagogue and begins to teach. (What an awesome time to be in the congregation.)  Their teacher Jesus is absolutely astounding!  They stand and watch Him; they are astonished and amazed.  The text tells us that Jesus not only taught them, but He performed supernatural healings.

The people in Nazareth who were witnesses in such a direct way, begin to draw false conclusions about Jesus.  They can’t deal with His youth and can’t believe what He has come from God–as their Messiah. 

However the general consensus was profound;  “everyone” was in agreement with what they had just witnessed.  For a few, they would never be the same.  When we encounter Jesus, and hear His wisdom, and see His wonders–it has the power to change us.  And that is no mean feat.

How You Make it Work

Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, 2 then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. 3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves

Philippians 2:1-3

 

Being connected to Jesus sets us up for a way so much more then we thought.  Encouragement comes from being comforted.  It makes us stand back in amazement.  We are brought to this wonderful place, and personal growth begins to show exceptional results. 

There are a lot of ‘anys’ that are imbedded in these verses.  They take us to a point of extracting something of eternal value and worth, and then seeing it translated into our lives.  I certainly couldn’t come up with this on my own.

We grab this basic fact, we are just devoid of anything of real value.  We simply do not have the roots that will sink down into these wonderful things.  Our connection into Him however, puts us into a completely different place.  We discover we have this incredible ability from drawing out life into our beings.  He sets us up so we extract ‘life’ from our silly, feeble efforts.

We draw so much from the presence of Jesus.  When it’s hooked in, our ‘abundance meter’ kicks us up several notches.  Paul is asking us to draw out significant things from our contact with these things of wonder.  Verse 2 develops for us a sense of unity with our brothers and sisters.  Truth had better deal with us in this way. 

My newfound faith means I must connect with others in a new and a powerfully exceptional basis.  The Gospel had better effect me in this capacity, because, whether we know it or not, faith just doesn’t connect me with God– it connects me to His people.

‘One love, and one spirit and one mind’.  The unity that is to be developed springs from a knowledge of who we really are spiritually.  There is an idea of ‘commonness’, that suggests that we all have a direct unity with each other.  We all are drawing from the same source.  Just the very idea of this should, and could break down barriers and walls that exist.  It seems to be a new awareness of having all our extension cords using all the same electricity.  There is never any shortage, but we do need to consent to being hooked up to the same root.

This realization of the dramatic unity of Christ’s work should bring us to a deepness of the Spirit that has eluded us for generations.  Quite simply, He is the well spring that we all draw from.  Deep down, He is who we connect to, our roots extend to Him.  Baptist, Assembly of God, Anglican, Lutheran, Pentecostal, and Roman Catholic and more.  The big bunch of us have plunged our roots into Jesus.  We all draw from Him, and He imparts to us life that lasts forever.

Humility has become the virtual currency of the Kingdom.  We are issued as much as we need.  But we must act with what we take.  Our brokenness over our self (and our arrogance) must drive us to a gentleness with each other.  We simply don’t have the resources and the intellect to make the decisions that we have been making.  Humility is the wonderful key that will open the doors to the King’s castle.  If you have it, you get in.  But without it, you will go nowhere.

Almighty Father

“Almighty Father, Son and Holy Ghost, eternal and ever blessed gracious God; to me the least of saints, to me allow that I should keep a door in paradise.   That I may keep the smallest door, the furthermost, the darkest, coldest door, the door which is the least used, the stiffest door.  If it so be but in thine house, O God, if so be that I can see thy glory even afar, and hear thy voice, O God, and know that I am with thee, thee O God.”

A Prayer of St. Columba, 521-597 AD

 

Bryan’s Note

We must travel some distance, before something like this will cling to our hearts.  Columba’s journey to the presence of Jesus most certainly gave him a perspective that enabled him to pray with this intensity and this humility.  We cannot dissuade ourselves of his effort and his overwhelming desire to be near Him.  We can only watch, and mark the zeal which took his heart and soul into the burning presence of His presence.  Columba becomes a guide of what is possible and what is to be sought.  We must become (if we are in pursuit) a people radically changed by the reality of His presence.