Your Dark Past

“For the kind of sorrow God wants us to experience leads us away from sin and results in salvation. There’s no regret for that kind of sorrow. But worldly sorrow, which lacks repentance, results in spiritual death.”

2 Corinthians 7:10, NLT

“You will have mercy on us again; 
 You will conquer our sins.
 You will throw away all our sins
 into the deepest part of the sea.”  

Micah 7:19, NCV

 
I’ve done many evil things in my life that I am ashamed of. Regret and sorrow over my sins frequently trouble me. But I always come back to see my sins covered by His blood.
 
I’d probably go insane if all I could do is see my sin without a Savior.

“Properly remembering our past sins with shame will deter us from repeating them and help us receive God’s saving grace.  When we recall our failures through the lens of Christ’s mercy, God produces in us ongoing repentance and deepening humility.” 

–Robert D. Jones

I have walked in self-hatred for many years.  I know all about loathing, fear, and paranoia over my many sins.  These things have handicapped me spiritually, and hating yourself is a terrible way to live.  My struggles with guilt and regret have deepened my sense of despair and depression. 

I’ve come to a point where I find that I am ashamed of my shame.

I have included the lyrics to Bob Bennett’s song “Lord of the Past” in this post.  He is a gifted songwriter and an exceptional guitar player.  (I can’t find it on Youtube.com.)  If you’re like me, you will find that you resonate with those who have been assaulted in the past.

We now speak a common language, and we understand each other. 

We are those whom Jesus has completely forgiven.

LORD OF THE PAST
Bob Bennett
© 1989 Matters Of The Heart Music (ASCAP)  

Every harsh word spoken
Every promise ever broken to me
Total recall of data in the memory
Every tear that has washed my face
Every moment of disgrace that I have known
Every time I’ve ever felt alone

Lord of the here and now
Lord of the come what may
I want to believe somehow
That you can heal these wounds of yesterday
(You can redeem these things so far away)
So now I’m asking you
To do what you want to do
Be the Lord of the Past
(Be the Lord of my Past)
Oh how I want you to
Be the Lord of the Past

All the chances I let slip by
All the dreams that I let die in vain
Afraid of failure and afraid of pain
Every tear that has washed my face
Every moment of disgrace that I have known
Every time I’ve ever felt alone

Well I picked up all these pieces
And I built a strong deception
And I locked myself inside of it
For my own protection
And I sit alone inside myself
And curse my company
For this thing that has kept me alive for so long
Is now killing me.
And as sure as the sin rose this morning,
The man in the moon hides his face tonight.
And I lay myself down on my bed
And I pray this prayer inside my head

Lord of the here and now
Lord of the come what may
I want to believe somehow
That you can heal these wounds of yesterday
So now I’m asking you
To do what you want to do
Be the Lord of my Past
You can do anything
Be the Lord of the Past
I know that you can find a way
To heal every yesterday of my life
Be the Lord of the Past.

 

Scorched, but Deeply Loved

“But he turned and said to Peter, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a hindrance to me. For you are not setting your mind on the things of God, but on the things of man.”

Matt. 16:23

The principles of the Kingdom will often confuse an outsider.  In this chapter of Matthew, we hear Peter extolling the divinity of Jesus (vv. 15-17).  Peter exceeds the norm with his analysis of what he believes is real and true.

Peter’s insight is as perceptive as it is supernatural.  “You are the Christ,” Peter proclaims, “the Son of the Living God,”  Jesus responds to this and He praises Peter for his sensitivity.

But, just a short time after he makes his astonishing pronouncement, he is taken apart by Jesus, being solidly rebuked face-to-face.  In one clear and singular moment, he expresses a wonderful faith, and then suddenly his personal awareness precipitously crashes.  He is now an evil person with Satan’s agenda. (See verse 23.)

I’m not sure why Peter does what he does. 

It seems that in the light of this chapter (which actually seems like a bright glare), Peter is devastated.  In three years of discipleship, it seems that all he merits is a brutal ‘dressing-down.’ All because he thinks he can correct Jesus, “the Son of the Living God.”

The rebuke is bitter.  Peter is being compared to Satan!

I suspect that Peter was ashamed.  He most likely wished he had a rewind button.  His Savior, Jesus– has given him a new label.  And it hurts.  Many times, we would become resentful, maybe a bit bitter.  It could cause some to walk away, developing an anger that solidifies into a permanent offense. Thank God, Peter doesn’t do anything that stupid.

The correction in the rebuke gives him life and hope.

But who’s to say we would be as correctable?  Peter was rebuked in the presence of the other disciples.  The publicity was embarrassing.  Too many people were watching and listening. Peter will survive this, but he has to learn something valuable.

Our daily commitment to Jesus hinges on our willingness to be undone. 

Jesus pretty much rakes us over the coals.  He insists on total obedience to His faithfulness. And like Peter, we will learn. It may take some time though.

Every true disciple will be scorched– but incredibly loved.

You Must Take Him Out

1 Samuel 17, ESV

Men are going to die unless something happens. But then up steps David, he is untried in battle, but within him is an eager commitment to a faith in Jehovah.  Fear has consumed the hearts and minds of the Jews, which are now full of ‘scary Goliath fears’ and confusion. 

These guys are pretty much scared.  The Scripture says “they were terrified and deeply shaken.” This is an irrational fear. It’s not from God.

David steps out and into the confusion.  He is just a shepherd boy, but he’s resistant to the fear that attacks his brothers.  He identifies the giant before him as evil, and that giant stands in the way of the Father’s will.  David advances without fear.

The space once occupied by fear has been filled up by faith.

This story, is much more than a story.  It may entertain schoolchildren, but it is so much more for us as believers.  Most definitely you will be called upon to face a Goliath of your own.  He’s waiting for you, and you must step forward in faith.

So much points to Goliath’s superiority. 

He is a man-of-war; dedicated, well trained in the ways of death.  Goliath is confident that he will destroy you.  But David steps out.  He is trusting in God alone.  He steps forward with no armor but God.

David is about to kill Goliath, with just a stone from his sling. 

He swings, throws and embeds a rock into the giants forehead– right between his eyes!  The giant collapses, and David moves forward,  and he cuts off the giant’s head. 

Each of us face an enormous evil. 

We’re facing something that is monstrous and destructive.  We cannot reason with it.  We can only face it with the weapons the Father provides for us.  When we advance to that source, we must do so with a faith that is real and undefeated.

Some reading this are pounded with failure.  I understand. But you’re called to take out your personal darkness.

At times, we think that we can negotiate our way to victory.  We hope to rationalize our enemy away by thinking positively about him.  We think we can move against him by being clever.  That does not work.

“By the strength of God’s grace, you trusted the Almighty and conquered your Goliath. The first giant is dead. Satan is masquerading as your former enemy so he can slip past your faith and regain entrance into your life. Resist him.”

     Francis Frangipane

   

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The Coming Train Wreck

Amos 3:7, ESV

We are witnessing something terrible.  Worldwide whole societies are being destroyed.  We’re more or less simple bystanders, there is really nothing we can do that can change the inevitable.  However, the survivors will need our assistance.  So we will wait for the inevitable crash, we pray, and anticipate a chance to bring our Savior’s love into the awful melee.

Things are accelerating far beyond what we think. 

This heightens the tension, which should make us alert and aware.  We make assumptions of the upcoming derailment which may, or may not be accurate.  But we all sense something dreadful and foreboding is approaching.

We are witnessing a train wreck.

Something disturbing is coming down.  It’s said that just before a big thunderstorm, the birds head for safety, they simply disappear.  The birds know this, and yet it seems, and yet we’re still trying to connect the dots.  We look at the skies, but yet we don’t quite understand the signs.

The crisis that is coming will stagger the unbeliever. It will certainly challenge the believer.

We must be ready ourselves.  Our viewpoint of eternity will become a much needed necessity for those who go through the devastation of the train wreck.  It’s what will pull us and others through some black and bleak times. We must prepare ourselves.

We can ask for grace, not just to help us, but to help them.

When the storm gets close, the best we can do is to head for the “storm cellar.”  As a boy, growing up in the Midwest, I have clear and distinct memories of heading for that basement shelter, with my dad and mom.  When a tornado is coming the only thing we can do is find shelter.  To choose to hide, and to take cover is both prudent and wise.

While things are collapsing, we need to find comfort in His shelter. 

His wings shelter us as believers, and we must find refuge in that precious and intimate place.  So much news is grim, and we can so easily slip into depression and despair.  We look around, but we must turn directly to these wings that cover us.  We’re protected and sheltered in that place, but only in that place.

“Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
This I declare about the Lord:
He alone is my refuge, my place of safety;
he is my God, and I trust him.”

Psalm 91:1-2

We should rest, and consciously put our own souls under His care. 

Some may look at everything and then decide to step into the storm in order to shut it down.  But brother, we can’t stop it, for it’s of the Lord.  Quite a few of the prophets in the Old Testament saw and understood what was going to happen soon, but they couldn’t do anything against Babylon or Assyria.  But with their voices they strengthened and encouraged others against an outrageous brutality.

That is something that’s going to be critically needed. It is a good thing, and it’s what we’re being called to do.

God has brought you to this particular spot. He has put you into this moment in time. You must take your place. Be alert, stay on guard. We’re put into this place by the Father.

Esther 4:14

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