Category: presence of God

The Hard Stuff

“And he told them many things in parables, saying: “A sower went out to sow. 4And as he sowed, some seeds fell along the path, and the birds came and devoured them. 5Other seeds fell on rocky ground, where they did not have much soil, and immediately they sprang up, since they had no depth of soil.”

Matthew 13:3-5, ESV

 

Parables were one of the favorite ways that Jesus communicated the truth.  This folksy and imaginative bit of “story-telling” carried profound things.  In this peculiar parable they hear of a farmer “broadcasting” the spring seed. It says he went “out to sow.”  He went out (and not in.)  The fields were awaiting him and his precious seed.

There was seed that was incidentally sown on the hard path.  The sparrows and the wrens and robins came and ate all the seed they could hold.  And some other seed was sown into the gravel, and rocks.  There was really, very little good soil.

Amazingly, they grew.  The seed there managed to sprout, and show some real semblance of growth.  But, it was temporary.  It could not last, the conditions would not endure continual growth.  The young plants would soon shrivel up and die.

Many things happen, that reveal our heart rocky and hard.  Much traffic treading down the lanes of our heart, pack the soil of our hearts.  The soil compresses and will not allow the young roots to find the nutrients it needs. Things are hard, the soil is packed down–like concrete.

So many things roll through our hearts.  We discover that we have been trampled and stomped on.  What may have been soft and fertile, has been packed down and hardened by all the traffic.  We should-be been more aware. We turned to a “free-er” and more open acceptance of what we would take and tolerate.  Evil, which has taken advantage, moves deep into our thinking, and we “sign over” much that we will regret, but later on.

The seed though is the focus.  It is precious, and knowing this, we focus on its viability.  The seed that makes it into a tiny plant is valued incredibly.  We hover over it, trying to “will” it to grow.  (If that were possible.)  But it seems we can’t press through this point.  The “precious seed” is sown, and our hardness nullifies so much real growth.

The Lord’s gentle but deep awareness is focused on our softness.  How do we manage our hard hearts?  When his spirit reaches out to us (the other day it was a wonderful song on the radio); He was reaching to me, and than I shut it down.  I guess I know he’ll continue to reach for me, even if I’m so rude to him.

There is an old story, of a demonic horse rider who would ride through the country, and wherever the horse stepped there was a permanent deadness that would never let the seed to grow.  When we indulge sin, we enable sin to flourish, and we empower the “horse rider” to continue his advance.  Our lust, and greed, jealousy, pride and selfishness bring us a deep and shadowy darkness.  He moves through my life, and I am mostly saddened because I no longer reach to him, even though I think that I grasp for him.

But how will we manage the traffic through the soil of our lives.  Will we let it continue, or will we put up signs?  Signs create a “safety zone” and we turn to this draconian measures to keep things in a good order.  It seems harsh, but it gives us space to let what is soft to become eager to receive the seed.

Humpty Dumpty Was an Optimist

 

Therefore, since we have been made right in God’s sight by faith, we have peace with God because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us.

Because of our faith, Christ has brought us into this place of undeserved privilege where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to sharing God’s glory.

Romans 5:1-2

 

Our smashing deliverance over our darkness is something God decided on, not us.  Because of our feeble faith, and our meager trust is transformed into a state of peace.  Our struggling faith elevates us.  Often it is really pathetic, malformed, ugly, and oh, so small.  But Jesus has been working “behind the scenes.”  He  delights in escorting us, His adopted brothers and sisters, into victory, with a Savior’s pride.  Trust me, there is no way we deserve this astonishing salvation, we didn’t earn this honor.  By no means.  Essentially, we are in a shattered heap.

It seems that everything is something, that  He has done for us.  The fact is Jesus far more than adequate.  He has done things that very easily exceed the bare minimum.  We stand, why?  Because He makes us stand.  And to be honest, everything, absolutely everything is something He has done.

If it was up to us, if we tried to make it happen, we would just sizzle out, and collapse in the darkness.  We are totally lost.  So many times, I’ve really tried.  But my darkness truly dissolves any hope that I might have.  I’m not only lost, I’m irrevocably lost.  I have lied, cheated and hoped it would not matter.  I am a colossal loser.   A pile of brokenness.  Why would His Son die, and than give me an  inheritance to take on His righteousness? ( The Bible can be “bizarre” sometimes.)

There is nothing I can bring.  I am much, much more evil than good.  I bring nothing but being a complete moral disaster.  I am a failure beyond any human redemption.  I have completely given up any sort of chance for personal salvation.

What does Jesus do with “losers” like me?  I will tell you what He does.  He redeems us.  He goes to the “slave market” and buys us, on the spot, right off the block!  According to Romans, through our stumbling faith we are simply given that which we could barely hope for.  Our meager faith gives us a billion and billions dollars of righteousness.  We transition from a devastating poverty to being Bill Gates’ heir.

The shock of this will take a lifetime to absorb.  We will try to adapt.  We have moved from a pathetic state of slavery, to being a child to the richest king of the entire universe.  It’s most unreal, like winning the Illinois lottery multiplied by a 1000.

Romans speaks of a new found confidence and joyousness that should come to those lifted out of the slave pit.  Our faith in what Jesus did for us brings us into this incredibly magnificent state.  The Book of Malachi describes the joy that calves of kicking up their hoofs on their release from the stall.  The imagery makes a direct connection to us who have been released from the darkness.

Simply put, He has done something for us that is beyond a dream.  The Parable of the Prodigal Son has now been “switched on.”  It illuminates us fully and describes every person on this planet.  We look at the parable and those 320 words take us apart, and then returns to instill life to us. This parable teaches every human being, of life’s realities.  He has done everything, and we have done nothing.  He now runs to us, and He will change us completely.

Sheep Who Stray Away

“It is well to be the sheep of God’s pasture, even if we have been wandering sheep. The straying sheep has an owner, and however far it may stray from the fold, it ceases not to belong to that owner.
 
I believe that God will yet bring back into the fold every one of His own sheep, and they shall all be saved. It is something to feel our wanderings, for if we feel ourselves to be lost, we shall certainly be saved; if we feel ourselves to have wandered, we shall certainly be brought back.”
 
–Charles Spurgeon
 
As mentally ill people we seem to be always straying.  We are usually very impulsive, and much more vulnerable to things that don’t seem to bother the “norms.”  But because our need is so much greater we find that grace is also multiplied.  We belong to His flock as much as the ‘wonderful’ sheep do.  We can rest (as well as we can) in Him and in His reputation as a ‘good’ Shepherd.

Upgrading to Joy

by Julie Anne Fidler, BB Weekly Contributor

I don’t know about you, but when I’m feeling ill – particularly with depression – I don’t want to do anything. Getting out of bed is a chore, tackling business or housework is excruciating, and when it’s all over we are twice as exhausted as we were when we started. Church seems out of the question. Reading the Bible seems impossible. Joy is a far-away star hurtling through the cosmos that you can’t grasp and reign in. Your world shuts down and you have no desire to grant access to anyone or anything. Sadness is a great isolator.

One of my favorite websites is www.dictionary.com (a writer’s best friend!) It defines joy as “the emotion of great delight or happiness caused by something exceptionally good or satisfying.” The primary words here are “caused by.”  We don’t always feel joy. Heck, nobody does. But if you battle mental illness, that statement is especially true. Satan comes to steal, kill, and destroy and he uses our brain chemistry to do so. He’s so, so good at stealing our joy. But knowing that joy is caused by something should give us a lot of hope!

Maybe the Enemy can snatch our joy, but we can snatch it back. How do we do that? We decide to go against our feelings of despair and exhaustion and pursue it. Job’s suffering makes ours seem almost laughable by comparison and yet even he was able to find the cause of joy and run to it.

“let their flesh be renewed like a child’s;
   let them be restored as in the days of their youth’—
26 then that person can pray to God and find favor with him,
   they will see God’s face and shout for joy;
   he will restore them to full well-being.
27 And they will go to others and say,
   ‘I have sinned, I have perverted what is right,
   but I did not get what I deserved.”

-Job 33:25-27

Job, a man who lost everything and was abandoned by everyone he ever cared for, understood what unlocks joy, and that was God himself.  Jesus, of course, understood the same concept.

“Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete.” –John 16:24

 

During a very dark period in my life, I started visiting my current church with friends who were already members there. My church is a rather Pentecostal church (no snake-handling or anything crazy like that, I promise) and at the time I was visiting, I was a member of a much more subdued church. I was in so much emotional pain that I opted out of worship altogether. I sat in my seat and cried as others raised their hands and shouted praise and I wondered how they could be so happy when we live in a world that is so cold.

But a funny thing happened as I sat there in tears – the little layer of ice around my heart began to melt. I wasn’t on my feet dancing, but I felt warm peace seep into the frigid hopelessness. I had found a tiny bit of joy, CAUSED by getting out of bed, getting dressed, and sitting in that church pew.

Say the word “joy” and two different pictures come to mind. In the first image, I see someone jumping up and down, pumping their fist in the air, shouting praise to God. In the second image, I see someone quiet and reserved, eyes closed, a tiny, peaceful smile on their lips. I believe that both of these images apply to us. Sometimes joy is all-consuming and we can’t help but shout. Other times, joy is a quiet whisper of hope in our ear, a flicker of happiness that says “take heart, God loves you.”

And I am learning that if we have no joy, whether it’s because we’re suffering a rough bout with our disease or because life is just hard in general, it’s because we’re not close enough to the cause of joy. Often, our minds say there is no hope or joy in this world, so we have to make a decision – are we going to listen to our messed-up emotions, or live by fact, which translates into walking by faith? If we want joy, we have find it.

One of the associate pastors at my church once said something that stuck with me. He said, “I want to be under the spout where the stuff of Heaven comes out.” It may be a little bit cheesy but it’s true. Corporate worship, quiet time alone with God, reading the Word, private worship and surrounding ourselves with people who compliment and encourage our faith are all “the stuff of Heaven” that cause joy. We have to get to the spout.

If you feel the walls closing in around you today, deny your pain, get up, and go find joy.  The joy of the Lord is so powerful that a tiny drop is more than enough, I challenge you today to believe for an outpouring of it. Get up and get under that spout.

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Julie Anne Fidler is a contributing writer for Brokenbelievers.com.  She comes with a humble and understanding heart for those with a mental illness.  Her writing gift is valued greatly.  Look for her post weekly, on this blog.
She keeps a personal ministry blog at www.mymentalhealthday.blogspot.com.  Read more there.