worship – Broken Believers

The Desperation Factor

: Loss of hope and surrender to despair. 2. : a state of hopelessness leading to rashness.
Synonyms–desperation · concern · dejection · depression · despondency · disconsolateness · distraction · distress · pang · torture · trouble · worry. noun as in rashness.

A terrific study is finding the people who fell at Jesus’ feet. Tucked in the Gospels you’ll find stories of those who despair. You’ll also see them come to Jesus in brokenness and humility, without any other recourse. I call these the feet-finders.

They came to Jesus because they had no hope otherwise. They were people who were hopeless and wretched, they had long ago run out of options. They came to Jesus, falling down in front of Him. They were all feet-finders.

They were men and women who were truly desperate.

“Now when Mary came to where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet, saying to him, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.”

John 11:32

One of the classic scenes in the Gospels is when Mary meets Jesus after her brother’s death. She doesn’t understand Jesus’ delay, Lazarus has been very ill and Jesus could have healed him. She is grieving and confused. But she only has one posture and one place in her heart to be– at the feet!

There are some common characteristics that feet-finders have:

A great need that can’t be met without His touch
To understand one’s true condition–humility, brokenness
To beg for a healing, for self or family
To honor Jesus as the Messiah
To be more receptive to His teaching, to understand Him
To become a witness to others (although it does seem secondary)

The following 3 verses are just a small selection of those who fell at Jesus feet.

“And great crowds came to him, bringing with them the lame, the blind, the crippled, the mute, and many others, and they put them at his feet, and he healed them.”

Matthew 15:30

“But immediately a woman whose little daughter had an unclean spirit heard of him and came and fell down at his feet.“

Mark 7:25

“Then people went out to see what had happened, and they came to Jesus and found the man from whom the demons had gone, sitting at the feet of Jesus, clothed and in his right mind.”

Luke 8:35

But there are several other instances where people came to sit at Jesus’ feet:

Mark 5:22-23, Jairus, a leader in the local synagogue
Luke 7:37-38, a sorrowing mother for her daughter
Luke 8:41, also Jairus
Luke 10:39, Mary, when Jesus was teaching
John 11:32, Mary, meeting Jesus entering Bethany
John 12:3, Mary, with her perfume
Revelation 1:17, John to express what he was seeing (also 19:10)

In every case we find people consciously coming and kneeling at the feet of the Lord Jesus. It was a deliberate action that came from their hearts. Each had a terrible need, and each was without hope.

Formality and religious politeness are jettisoned. Brokenness and true humility takes their place. A foot-finder is no longer operating on spiritual niceties. Religion is comfortable, noble, and respectable, but it cannot heal or change people deeply.

Feet-finders know that they need Jesus desperately and will go to any length just to be touched by Him. They defy what is conventional and proper. They are not what we call respectable. You can find them at the feet of Jesus. They are feet-finders. Foot-finders weep, kneel, beg, shout. Too many tears and maybe some snot.

Hardly decent to religious people.

Are you really that desperate yet? Have you seen your need, and do you realize how lost you would be without His healing touch?

Often when I do pray, I sometimes think of the woman who was unclean. She speaks to me about approaching Jesus. I see myself in a crushing crowd of people, and I’m reaching out just to touch the hem of His robe. I know only Jesus can stop my own uncleanness. (Matthew 9.)

I’m convinced only Jesus can make me clean and whole.

I’ve tried to be holy and acceptable to Him. But I felt like a juggler, trying to keep my balls in the air all at the same time, and I could never pull it off. So I tried again and again. I was the unofficial master of religious effort.

But I found my rightful place at His feet. It’s where I belong. I love Him.

I’m not ashamed to be found kneeling.

Making Wise Decisions

The decision to make decisions that will please God is in itself a monumental step. It means you have come to the place where it matters. It’s coming to the place where I say “Yes” to all that God says yes to and “No” to everything He has forbidden. The willingness to be guided is itself a powerful thing.

A fundamental principle to begin with: Every heart has a throne, the question is– who sits on it?

Step 1: Putting God First.

In part you have already done this just by your eagerness to do His will. You have made a deliberate decision to honor and esteem Him by letting God be completely God. It is likely that God will withhold His direction if you have no real intention of doing it. You will just sputter around in the dark. Your life will be painfully empty.

Step 2: Worship Him willingly.

For me, to commence praise & worship is like firing up the nuclear power plant that I have in my backyard. It is a source of unlimited energy that I have at my disposal, but it’s not about me at all. When I start to worship, it must be all about Him. It’s His character, attributes, love and grace I lift up to be examined by all.

“But the time is coming—indeed it’s here now—when true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and in truth. The Father is looking for those who will worship him that way.”

John 4:23

Step 3: Read the Word faithfully.

Guidance often comes when we turn to the Bible for light. Each part or style of my “leather bound Book” is a purposeful and deliberate unveiling of truth. After 25 years since I became a Christian, the Bible has shown itself over and over to be important. The Life of David has been rich, and Daniel as well. I needed to discern the difference between:

A moral decision that concerns things that are right & wrong, evil & good.
A non-moral decision that directs me in the areas of preference and direction.
Reading the Bible provides us with all that we need.

“Your word is a lamp to my feet
and a light for my path.”

Psalm 119:105

Step 4: Seek out the counsel of elders and veteran saints.

The Church has this big ‘brain-trust’ at her disposal whenever she needs it. There is accumulated wisdom and insight that often is ignored or not even considered. My life has changed because of my contact with these older saints. Most of them never really recognized the imprint they were having on me, my marriage, or my ministry. I realize that I stand on the shoulders of giants, that I only see further because they were willing to raise me higher. We will fail in decision making if we will not involve our elders.

“Plans fail for lack of counsel,
but with many advisers they succeed.”

Prov. 15:22

Step 5: Prepare yourself to walk by faith.

The scripture is jam-packed with people who had to have faith. They are everywhere and they are doing everything! But, all through faith. I got to thinking about Noah, and his faith. Directed to construct an ark, which took him years and years.

“It was by faith that Noah built a large boat to save his family from the flood. He obeyed God, who warned him about things that had never happened before.”

Heb. 11:7

Faith is defined as trusting God to carry out His unseen promises.

“Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see.”

Heb. 11:1

Step 6: Concentrate on eternal purposes.

I have heard it said, that this life is very short, and only what is done for Christ will last. I believe this. Matthew also tells us to seek first the kingdom of God, and everything else will be given to you.

It is the kingdom that must be paramount. The kingdom is carried around in our hearts; it is the place where the King dwells and rules.

These are not just noble and lofty thoughts to be smiled at, humored and regarded as quite quaint. This is for real, these are concrete realities that we choose. God’s will is not some abstract, it is as specific as the believer wants or needs it to be.

Summary

I honestly believe that you and I can know deep inside us what constitutes a Godly decision. It very often is on the path of greatest humility. And when you meet up with humility, you will find faith– and then follows goodness. And as you accrue these qualities it becomes much easier to make Godly decisions.

Recommended Book

“Decision Making and the Will of God,” by Garry Friesen, J. Robin Maxson

Despair and David’s Theology

For those on the mat and wrestling, things can move very fast. Our own adversary is strong, and he knows us too well. He is quite aware of the sequence of moves needed to pin us to the floor, and crush us. He is spiritually dangerous. He is lethal.

I get bewildered and rattled by his attacks. He knows how to pressure me at just the right time, and he refuses to follow the rules. He is no gentleman, he is both a cheater and a liar.

Of course I am talking about Satan and his team of demons. I will not dispute their reality with you. There is almost as much scriptural support for his existence as there is for Jesus’. His hostility is toward God and His people, and his viciousness cannot be camouflaged. Evil is real, and believe this–

Satan has a terrible, and ugly plan for your life.

As a Christian, who has bouts of depression it quickly morphs into despondency and despair. When I sink to that level I start to lose all hope. It’s like I’m in a lifeboat and decide that I should abandon it and tread water on my own. Despondency is not rational and just a little bit is deadly.

David intimately knew all about darkness and desperation.

He had been chased by his enemies, and maneuvered into the most difficult of situations. To observe him at a distance we would say that “there is no hope for him in God.” Even God can’t save him, for he is reprobate. We would be convinced that there is nothing for him in God’s thinking.

David fully understands how twisted he really is inside, and it’s at that point he composes Psalm 51. It shows us the way to freedom.

David was a moral failure; he was an adulterer and a brazen killer. You can debate this, but it seems that David had sinned deeper and more intensely than Saul ever had. Join with the logic of the crowd, “There is no hope for him in God!” No hope, none, nada, zero.

“Yet I am always with you;
you hold me by my right hand.

You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will take me into glory.

Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.

My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.”

–Psalm 73

David defied the theology of his day. He embraced the Lord God with a desperate passion. It was not orthodox or logical. You could say it was disturbing for many who didn’t understand the infinite mercy of God. But David would not let go of God! He hung on, and continued to sing in faith, even though most wouldn’t agree he had the right to.

I encourage you besieged brother, and embattled sister. Hold on to Him, even if it baffles all logic or theology. Renounce your sin, but seek His promises with a fervency, open your heart to Him with a passion. Remember that sin can and will destroy you. It is part of Satan’s stratagem.

Sing in your cave, and never lose hope of God’s love for you.

“The most valuable thing the Psalms do for me is to express the same delight in God which made David dance.”

C.S. Lewis

“Despondency and David’s Theology,” brokenbelievers.com, Bryan Lowe

Related articles

The Swamp of Despondency (brokenbelievers.com)
Autocorrect Theology (nwelford.wordpress.com)
Theology Matters (daviddflowers.com)

The Angels are Bewildered

“When the Japanese mend broken objects, they aggrandize the damage by filling the cracks with gold. They believe that when something’s suffered damage and has a history it becomes more beautiful.”

~Barbara Bloom

Just a short word of encouragement to all my suffering brothers and sisters.

I believe God loves you (it’s not a cliche) and has a tremendous plan for you. Scripture tells us that we will reign with Him (and the last time I looked, there is no disqualification for being mentally or physically ill).

Having suffered through your whole life will be just an enhancement, a bonus when you finally are held by Jesus, and you can rest in His arms.

Those of us who struggle with depression, mania, and paranoia know a lot about cracks and brokenness. Mixed states, anxiety, and social withdrawal all have taken their toll. Some of us hear voices. Addictions and suicide attempts have made up our past life (and even sometimes try to intrude on the present.)

Some of us have physical disabilities. We come to worship from our wheelchairs and walkers. Some of us are deaf, and others are blind. But we come still. Our hope is in the coming King who promises us a new and fully redeemed Kingdom. There will be no more pain.

I once had a dear friend with advancing Alzheimers She understands little of what is happening to her, but she still worshiped God with the rest of the congregation. Before dementia, she was a dynamic spiritual marvel. Without a doubt one of the astonishing women I had ever met.

Now however, when she raises her hands, I believe the angels step back in a deep awe.

I just realized this–the angels understand worship, they really do. Praise seems to be their specialty. Each angel that surrounds the throne has a PhD in “worshipology.”

But you know what? The angels really don’t understand our worship out of our pain, weakness, and brokenness. Since they have never experienced it, I don’t think they understand.

Let’s worship God with our cracks and brokenness. In John 12:1-7, a woman breaks open a jar of nard on Jesus’ feet, while the other disciples hang back and complain.

Category: worship

The Desperation Factor