Category: decisions

Judas Tries to Explain

This wasn’t the easiest post to write, and what I’ve shared is only meant to bring some light to the story of the ultimate betrayal in human history. —Bryan

My name is Judas Iscariot, and I betrayed my Lord. It really had nothing to do with avarice or greed. The money was fine, don’t get me wrong, but that isn’t why I turned him in to the authorities. I simply did what they couldn’t. I wanted to force Jesus’ hand, so he had to drive the Romans out of our country. I was mistaken, I see that now.

Jesus loved each of us, including me. But I didn’t see it at the time.

When he knelt to wash my feet, I was deeply disturbed. When he stripped down to his underwear, I admit I had some serious doubts. Behaving like a common slave wasn’t really in my thinking. It would take extra work to shape him, and to deaden such strange behavior. But it would be worth it in the end, if only Jesus would cooperate.

In my mind I knew that Jesus only needed the right moment to become the next ruler of Israel. That was his destiny, and I was going to help him bring it to pass. I knew that God had called me–this was my purpose. I would be the kingmaker, and Jesus would certainly reward me.

Some have said that Satan was inside me.

But I hardly noticed. Instead, I was filled with excitement. Finally, the other disciples would come to my side, and together we could make it happen. Enough kneeling, no more groveling–we were going to rule Israel and end the wicked Roman occupation. I truly believed this. He was our Messiah, our deliverer.

The tricky part was to convince Jesus, to manipulate him if necessary, to take control.

He had to see the opportunity that was waiting for him. He was already immensely popular among the people. We could quite easily turn all of this enthusiasm into a full-blown insurrection. But we obviously needed him to lead us, and I could help him find his way. I knew we could do it. This was God’s will for me.

My plan was simple–after I met with the Pharisees, I’d lead them to the garden where Jesus was staying. They insisted on an armed escort, just in case there was trouble among the disciples. I suppose that was prudent, my part in all of this was simply to give Jesus a kiss on the cheek, to signify that he was the one to the soldiers.

I assumed he would resist and fight. I was very wrong.

Nothing went as planned. Jesus didn’t take charge, and he certainly didn’t overthrow the government. As a matter of fact, you could say that the opposite happened; he was silent and refused to answer most of their questions. I did hear him say, “My kingdom is not of this world.” I should have listened.

I realized way too late, that I shed innocent blood. I went back to the priests who hired me, and I insisted they take back the silver. They refused. I threw the bag at their feet and left the temple. Ugly thoughts now filled my mind, and I knew without a doubt that I was completely lost.

Please excuse me now, but I have a date with a rope.

A Simple Word to the Backslidden

“I will give them a heart to know that I am the Lord, and they shall be my people and I will be their God, for they shall return to me with their whole heart.”

Jeremiah 24:7

First of all, I understand more than you realize. Sometimes I’m white-hot, other times I’m not. I can be enthusiastic, and then I’m not quite there. Being a believer who suddenly does not become a believer is to be in a hard place; I often struggle with this. I try to justify things, but inwardly I know, I’m just trying to find a life without Him.

I will not preach to you.

But sometimes I have cursed the day I went forward to the altar. Perhaps it was merely manipulation and my wishful thinking. Maybe I was just looking for something that would give me a meaning. I don’t know for sure. But I do know what it means to be miserable.

At this point I’m looking for something that would help me forget what really happened then. I look around for just about anything that’ll “hide” me from faith. Something that will nullify that deep down I know is true. Hiding is slowly becoming a weird art form. I seem to launch myself into anything that will cover up this pain.

Wearing a mask can be a terribly lost way of living.

But what does God’s word, the Bible say?

First God still loves me. That love cannot be degraded or diminished. It is steady and constant, even when it’s obvious that it’s undeserved or unwelcome. I may try to ignore it but that doesn’t change Him. He is in love with you, and He is trying to woo you into His presence. You’ll never be able to minimize that.

Second, we somehow understand that sin (whatever that means) is very real, even if we try hard to cover it up. When I backslide, much effort must be given to hiding and escaping this awareness. Often, I choose to look to things that might seem relatively good, but if the truth be told it’s nothing more than escaping what is real.

So, what happens next?

Do I swallow my pride and ego, or do I keep building up a resistance to what is true and real? Do I keep faking to avoid His presence, or do I turn again to Him and find His mercy and love still waiting for me? This is your decision, monumental, but very much your next step.

His love for you is deep and solid. Your attempt to escape it doesn’t nullify that. You may pursue anything or everything, trying to “hide” but it really amounts to nothing. You may count on pleasure or happiness from sin, but its continuance never really lasts. You know this, and I know this. And it doesn’t really work, does it?

Coming to Jesus a second time must be your very next step.

You’ll never find any kind of peace until you return to Jesus.

Please, if you wish, contact me at slowe299@yahoo.com. I will try to take up any issue you might have. I’ll also pray and believe that God will bring you home. Please connect with me.

“I will heal their backsliding, I will love them freely, For My anger has turned away from him.”

Hosea 14:4

Little Pieces of Obedience

abraham_isaac_1

“It was by faith that Abraham offered Isaac as a sacrifice when God was testing him. Abraham, who had received God’s promises, was ready to sacrifice his only son, Isaac, 18 even though God had told him, “Isaac is the son through whom your descendants will be counted.”[ 19 Abraham reasoned that if Isaac died, God was able to bring him back to life again. And in a sense, Abraham did receive his son back from the dead.”

Hebrews 11:17-19, NLT

The faith of Abraham is understood by believers everywhere. This simple man followed God to a obscure mountain in Judea. He came fervently, and yet logically to the command of the Lord. Abraham’s confident assurance would carry him to Mt. Moriah were he would sacrifice his son. He would prefigure God’s own sacrifice of Jesus Christ, His only Son.

There were many steps Abraham had to take: the knife, the rope, the firewood, the donkey. There was a dozen details to arrange. Abraham would have had to plan ahead of time to prepare. I’m relatively certain he had ample time to consider what he was doing. The enormity of it all would’ve been staggering.

Hebrews reveals that ‘faith’ was what enabled Abraham. It was faith followed by a dozen little acts of obedience that strengthened him to follow God’s instructions. Abraham would obey God, through faith, by doing many little things. All would lead up to the ‘big thing,’ the offering up of his only son.

Heavy doors swing on small hinges.

I believe that no act is too small. Tiny actions make for big ones. It seems that several times during our daily grind we face little choices that often determine a far greater meaning. I’ve been told that there are flowers in alpine valleys that no man will ever see. Their sole beauty is visible only to God. Obedience is often like this. But the Lord knows.

God meets every act of obedience to Him with a smiling grace.

Hebrews 11 is known as the believer’s ‘hall of fame’. In its verses we’re pounded by the idea that the faith is visible only through obedience. What we do is as significant as what we believe. It has always been so.

“…but the people who know their God shall be strong, and carry out great exploits.”

Daniel 11:32, NKJV

A little obedience prepares us for bigger ones. If we won’t obey in the small ones, how will we in the big ones? The prophet Daniel spoke of a remnant that would do astonishing things, and that the core of their fame would come from knowing God. This is faith made visible. The ‘great exploits’ spring out of faith in a strong God. To be regarded in this way would be wonderful, but faith needs those little acts of obedience to be able to do the great ones. 

We must reclaim the reality that the details of our lives are not trivial.

The Pruning Knife

“He cuts off every branch of mine that doesn’t produce fruit, and he prunes the branches that do bear fruit so they will produce even more.”

John 15:2, NLT

In order to become fruitful we must accept the knife. 

It takes a sharp eye and a sharper knife to do the Father’s work of cutting.  He slices to the quick, and all that is not useful falls to the ground.  The vine will produce grapes, and every bit of “grape-energy” will be used productively. Fruitlessness will be cursed, and sterility is condemned.  It takes a decisive heart, as well as a wise hand to prune God’s very own vineyard.

Fruitless believers may become fruitful ones.

Understand, the vine dresser does not attack the vine.  He is not malicious or vengeful.  All that He does is for the good of the vine.  He is motivated to produce fruit.  That is what He thinks about; you could say that He is preoccupied with that singular end.

Pruning and fruit are concepts that we vacillate over, some days we understand and other days we blow it off.  After over 30 years, I’ve probably heard every “John 15 sermon” there is.  And most of the time I turn down my spiritual hearing aid. That is tragic, and shows my heart has become hardened.

I need to come on board with this particular imagery. 

For years I have asked God to “show me His ways”.  I’d like to believe that this understanding of pruning has changed me.  I would like to think that I have attained a clearer view of wisdom.  This pruning business is all well and good.  But being sanctified by the knife is decidedly unattractive and uncomfortable.

You must be pruned; pieces of your life are earmarked to be lopped off.  (I always wonder if the trees that are spray painted are curious over the why and the when they are to be cut?)  In regards to being fruitful we must accept the knife.  If we want to be holy and conform to the image of Christ we will be cut.

There is simply no other way.

aabryscript

 

 

Related articles