Walking the Wire Again

I hope everybody can find a little flame
Me, I say my prayers,
then just light myself on fire
and walk out on the wire once again.”  

Counting Crows, “Goodnight Elizabeth”

Hope is a powerful thing— nothing compares. It truly is the ‘anchor of the soul.’ Without it, life would be hopeless, and that is intolerable to a human being.

We will implode without hope. The psalmist was well aware of this tendency; he speaks to himself about this. He ‘talks to himself’ which can seem a little weird to some.

“Why are you discouraged, my soul?
    Why are you so restless?
        Put your hope in God,
            because I will still praise him.
                He is my savior and my God.”

Psalm 42:11

Day-to-day life can be arduous. Sometimes faith falters and hopelessness becomes a real and deadly option. For those of us with debilitating illnesses this can be significant hazard. Depression can severely hinder us.

The writer of Psalm 42 understood this. Discouragement was a real issue, especially when he wondered what was swirling around him. (And I daresay he is not alone in this.)

He insists a certitude. He refuses to give in to the idea that failure is final. He will not allow himself to accept the finality of hopelessness. He will not surrender himself to this idea that ‘all is lost.’ The way he battles back is seen in an inner conversation with his soul. He speaks to himself directly concerning the great faithfulness of God to his situation.

It is real, it’s definitely not fluff. He operates in reality. He can’t pretend that the feeling of despondency is imaginary, it is far too cruel and real for it not to be.

However having a hope will cement me in the goodness and mercy of God. It is the sterling silver (.925) belief that He cares for me. The verse in 42:11 ties in with praise and worship. This is not a minor thing. When we praise, we break the bonds of hopelessness, in a way that our souls can know, and appreciate. It decisively disarms the depression, and fills the embattled soul with hope.

Pain can be a powerful indicator of depression unchecked. But hope changes the manner of which we live.

–John Piper

I wish you the best even as the battle intensifies. Jesus is enough. Look around, see Him and run right to Him. Your faith will hold you.

My Valley of Tears

He Sees Every Tear

Psalm 84:6 (NIV).

Psalm 84:6, (NLT).

In Hebrew, the word “baka” means tears.

In Psalm 84, the sons of Korah write their praises of God and note that those whose strength is in the Lord will travel through the Valley of Baka and find His peace there. For some of us that Valley of Tears seems never-ending, but we must remember we are not alone in it.

I wrote this poem to remind myself of that truth. I hope it blesses you as you pass through the valley of tears, too.

My Valley of Tears

My Savior will dry all my tears
The Lord God knows all my fears
As I trudge onward many years
I pass through the Valley of Baka

Great pain and agony oppress
I feel heavy weights of duress
Praying for dear Jesus to bless
I pass through the Valley of Baka

I see that this valley is long
I need You to make my faith strong
That Lord I might sing a praise song
As I pass through the Valley of Baka

D

Christians in Cages

Psalm 124

We can play “the what if game.” We can think backwards, and hit replay, and pretend alternate realities. What if, I didn’t join the army? What if I died on that last drunken binge, choking on my own vomit? What if I would’ve died on that last suicide attempt?

David asks an enormous “what if” in Psalm 124:1-2

He poses this question. He wants Israel to understand what he is saying. He asks the people to repeat after him. He then re-frames the question in verse 2. “What if God had not stepped into the situation?

David insists that his listeners think this through.

And this trip down ‘memory lane’ examines what would of (or could have) happened if God would have simply taken His hand off Israel as a nation.

I truly believe that we should do the very same today. Just pause to reflect on His grace and care. Simply try to understand that it was God’s hand holding you in place all along. All that He does for us is very good.

There is also can be a sense of being overwhelmed by your enemies.

The malevolent forces of the enemy have a ministry. And that ministry is to ‘steamroll’ and crush out the light. Satan hates the truth and he hates you.

David is a very vivid writer, he had a fantastic gift–a great flair of choosing the best words and images. He weaves a song and we see God intervening, protecting, and preventing Israel from becoming a Satan’s snack.

Psalm 124:6-7

I love these 2 verses. “Escaped” is emphasized twice–the bird catchers have collected many small birds, snared by a little food and a strong net. They keep them in a cage. But wait! Something has just happened, and the birds have somehow escaped!

Have you been wounded inside? Do you struggle hard with depression and loneliness?

There is so much ugliness. The enemy can throw so much at us. Many of us lack the strength to resist him. We can fight and flap and throw ourselves at the bars, but we are trapped. But then Jesus comes, He smashes cages, and frees birds like us.

Verse 8 is the final thought of this psalm.

It sums up everything so wonderfully. There is help. Our Creator deeply cares for us. He has ultimate strength. Put your heart in His hands. We read the last verse…

“Our help is in the name of the Lord,
Who made heaven and earth.”

Psalm 124:8

brokenbelievers.com

 

Melancholy Me and My God

In early November, I went to California for a writers retreat. There were only four students and the woman leading the retreat. I learned so much and hung out with a few other writers. And yet, the poem below is what I wrote the first night after our opening session.

The next day I read it to one of my new writer friends, a woman who has been on this writing journey for a lot less time than I. She was touched because she had been feeling inadequate and that the rest of us were so much more accomplished than she was.

I love it when God allows me to remember the dark night of the soul in a way that brings cheer and blessing to others.

Billy Graham

Why so downcast, Oh my soul?
I understand the psalmist's plea.
Here I am with new friends of gold
But feelings of sadness needle me.

Am I just a fraud pretending to be
One who has something worthwhile to say?
When truth be told, or a lie of old,
Never will I point to God's way.

How I feel runs hot and cold;
Now I am weak when once I was bold.
Powerless and useless are words I hear
Echoing deep in my mind as fear.

Wounds that run deep still bleed
I know they're not true, never were.
But still, still these words Oh Lord.
You are the truth, the life, the way.