Walking This Broken Road by Faith

credit: www.internetmonk.com
credit: http://www.internetmonk.com

In one of my early blog posts at lindakruschke.wordpress.com, I was lamenting that remembering my past made me a little blue, because I had regrets and things have happened to me that were less than wonderful. But I have been reminded that I am who I am because of my history.

A week later I was listening to the CD  Stay by Jeremy Camp in my car alot. One of the songs on that CD is called Walk by Faith, but all week I really haven’t tuned into that song even though it is the one I really needed to hear. Then one night I was listening to my iPod while I was making dinner, and had it on shuffle of my Christian Music playlist. This is something I hadn’t done for awhile – I had listening to the Oldies playlist or the Sad Heartache Songs playlist instead. I started out that night listening to the Grunge playlist, but it wasn’t helping my mood at all (now that’s a big surprise, not).

It just so happened that the third song to play on the Christian music playlist while I was chopping veggies for homemade chicken noodle soup was Walk by Faith. The chorus goes like this:

Well I will walk by faith
Even when I cannot see
Well because this broken road
Prepares Your will for me

As I heard those words, I realized that the broken road I have traveled (and don’t we all travel a broken road of some kind?) has made me who I am. It has taught me love, compassion, empathy, and, most importantly, faith. If my life had been perfect and easy, with no pain and heartache, first of all I wouldn’t be human. But secondly, I would be a different, perhaps shallower person. I might not even be happy.

So I have decided not to lament or regret my past, but to see it for what it is: the broken road that has prepared me to be the person God wants me to be to those around me. Because ultimately, those around me have traveled a broken road too. And sometimes it is a very similar broken road so that we can relate to each other’s journey. Maybe, as I walk that road by faith, I can help others to walk by faith, too.

Besides, without the lessons learned on my broken road I would have nothing but fluff to write and my blogging would have no purpose.

Have you been walking a broken road? Have faith that God will use your experiences to make you the person He has planned for you to be so that you can be a blessing to others walking that broken road with you.

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ.  If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer.  And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.

We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers and sisters, about the troubles we experienced in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt we had received the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us again. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, as you help us by your prayers. Then many will give thanks on our behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many. 2 Corinthians 1:3-11 (NIV).

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Madness Dancing, [Something Different]

Madness Dancing, by Bob Bennett

1990 Cornerstone Music Festival

Songs from a playlist on my ‘iTouch.’

An old classic by a Christian singer/songwriter that is one of my favorites. This expresses my own heart toward worship, and reminds me of a ‘first-love.’

Bob has many more wonderful songs. I can recommend him, that is if you like this kind of stuff. I discovered the lyrics, after an intense search, but I hope you like this at least.

In the middle of this madness I am dancing

Though I’m not sure why just now I tried to be sober, tried to be logical

But I could not stop my feet I know I have not turned off my mind

I know there’s evil all around me But for now, it’s outside

And I am in my room And joy is like a crashing tide I don’t wanna burn no books

Don’t wanna argue rock n’ roll I don’t wanna shoot anyone

With my high-powered doctrine gun

Let the madness roll on like a hungry beast

No one will miss me (No one will miss me)

For a half-an-hour at least A song came this morning and woke me

And as I listened, then I found That I was not alone

I was standing, moving Dancing, dancing On holy ground

I don’t wanna burn no books Don’t wanna argue rock n’ roll

I don’t wanna shoot anyone With my high-powered doctrine gun

Let the madness roll on like a savage beast

No one will miss me No one will miss me No one will miss me

For a half-an-hour at least No one will miss me

No one will care No one (Guitar solo) I

n the middle In the middle of this madness

In the middle of this madness I am (I am dancing)

In the middle of this madness I am dancing

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Be Ye Glad!

“But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ’s sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy.”

1 Peter 4:13, KJV

BE YE GLAD Lyrics

In these days of confused situations.
In these nights of a restless remorse,
When the heart and the soul of the nation,
lay wounded and cold as a corpse.
From the grave of the innocent Adam,
comes a song bringing joy to the sad.
Oh your cry has been heard and the ransom,
has been paid up in full, Be Ye Glad.

(Chorus)

Oh, Be Ye Glad, Be Ye Glad,
Every debt that you ever had
Has been paid up in full by the grace of the Lord,
Be Ye Glad, Be Ye Glad, Be Ye Glad.

From the dungeon a rumor is stirring.
You have heard it again and again.
But this time the cell keys are turning,
and outside there are faces of friends.
And though your body lay weary from wasting,
and your eyes show the sorrow they’ve had.
Oh the love that your heart is now tasting
has opened the gate, Be Ye Glad.

(Chorus)

So be like lights on the rim of the water,
giving hope in a storm sea of night.
Be a refuge amidst the slaughter,
for these fugitives in their flight.
For you are timeless and part of a puzzle.
You are winsome and young as a lad.
And there is no disease or no struggle,
that can pull you from God, Be Ye Glad.

Words and Music by M.K.Blanchard 
© Gotz Music/Benson 
(860) 673-5100

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Out of Darkness: The Kelly Willard Interview

kelly-willard-blame-the-one by Maryann B. Hunsberger | CT, originally posted 8/27/2007 

After a long absence from making music, not to mention a series of tragedies—including a divorce and her daughter’s suicide—CCM veteran Kelly Willard is back on the scene.

Since the early days of the Jesus movement, Kelly Willard has been a part of Christian music, recording with many of names associated with the pioneers of CCM before releasing her 1978 debut at the age of 21. With nine albums to her credit, Willard has also been featured on more than two dozen worship projects from Integrity Hosanna!, Vineyard, and Maranatha! Music. Now with the release of her new CD Paga, Willard is finally back on the scene, though she’s never been totally absent. She spoke to us from her Florida home about the things occupying her time for the last 15 years: her family, her recording career, her ministry, and a series of tragedies in 2004.

Your last album was in 1990. What have you been up to all these years?

Kelly Willard It was a priority to be home with my husband and children, since I home-schooled both children. And although I stopped recording my own albums and touring to raise my children, I didn’t stop working in Christian music. I lived in Nashville, so I continued to do session work. I’ve done background vocals for artists, and I’ve done solos on praise-and-worship albums. I’ve always followed what was going on in Christian music, and I’ve continued to do as much music as I could.

It sounds like life has been busy.

Willard Very busy. My mother had Alzheimer’s, so we took her in and cared for her for ten years. I was responsible for her health while my children were growing up. I was home-schooling and doing studio session singing while caring for my mother. I haven’t done much since 2004 because of what life has been like since then.

What happened that year?

Willard It was the worst year of my life. On Valentine’s Day, my father died of pulmonary fibrosis. Later, in March, my 29-year marriage fell apart. I worked so hard on the marriage, even going to counseling. But the marriage fell out from under me because the spiritual foundation of the home fell short. My parents were divorced when I was 13, and I said I’d never divorce. It was so traumatic, because my marriage and family were my life. It’s been hard for me to accept.

Then my 18-year-old daughter Haylie fell through the cracks—on August 29, she committed suicide. She had severe depression and she stopped taking her medication. The divorce was a huge factor in her death. It’s the saddest thing ever. Whenever I sang locally in Nashville, Haylie would sing with me, and mher. And in October, my mother died from Alzheimer’s. So, it really was the worst year ever y son Bryan would play bass. She wrote songs and loved the Lord. Too much sadness just overcame for me.

Did you struggle with feelings of failure during this time?

Willard Totally and completely. For your child to check out of life is just horrific. It’s unthinkable, unspeakable pain.

Does depression run in your family, since it is usually a hereditary illness?

Willard Yes. In 1987, when we had just released Message from a King, my fourth album, I was diagnosed with manic-depressive illness. The medication back then affected me badly, so I stopped taking it. In 2002, the diagnosis was reconfirmed, but with a new name: bipolar disorder. I got on a newer medication and it has worked well. It helped me get through the trauma of the last few years. I believe my mother also had bipolar disorder, but it went undiagnosed.

 How did your son handle everything?

Willard Bryan was out of the house already. He had gotten an apartment when he was 18 with his friend Phil LaRue and a couple other guys—he played bass with the group LaRue. Then he began to court his wife Liz and they married. So they now live in Nashville and have a daughter Ariel. He’s 24 now and such a strong Christian—a singer, writer, and worship leader, traveling and playing bass for Jason Upton’s band.

What have the last three years been like for you?

Willard It’s been a time of healing. It’s a slow process and it has taken time, but it is happening.  I moved to Jacksonville Beach, Florida for support from Beaches Chapel, a church that took me in and helped me move on after my life fell apart. Haylie and I had sung there in 2002 and they had a real burden for me. When things got bad, Pastor Steve McCoy could see how fragile I was. He would call me in Nashville. He asked me to come down for six months, so I did. I went into weekly grief therapy with a Christian grief counselor for 18 months. I also began taking classes at church. The accountability to my pastor and my grief therapist and Jamie kept me alive, as there were times that I honestly didn’t want to live. But, God hung onto me, even when I felt like I couldn’t hang on.

I read a lot of books about heaven, and I get really excited, because reading them helps me live the reality of what our faith is all about. Also, I met Jamie Wellington at church and he became a friend who stood by me. Eventually, he and I got married and I still live in Florida today. God gave me a brand new start in every way.

Which at last brings you back to recording a new album.

Willard I began working on it seven years ago. I thought I’d never record another solo album, but the Holy Spirit impressed on me to involve my kids in making an album with me. That’s my son Bryan rocking on the bass when he was barely 18. His buddies Miles McPherson and Rob Hawkins also played on it. Haylie, who was 15 at the time, sang a duet with me on “Beautiful Jesus.”

Your daughter had a beautiful voice. Is it hard listening to that song?

Willard I made myself listen to it once, just the other day. I saw her on the other side when I heard that.

Where does the title for Paga come from?

Willard I listened to a teaching tape by Jim Goll called “From Prayer to His Presence.” He explained how the Old Testament priests would take incense behind the curtain and burn it as an atonement. This is called “paga” in Hebrew and it means “to make intercession.” When Jesus became our sacrifice, he made the way for our prayers, praises, and worship to become like that incense to the Lord. I wanted this album to draw people to the Lord and take part in that intercession.

I like your cover of “Charity.”

Willard As far as I know, nobody has recorded that song since Jamie Owens Collins recorded it for her first solo album in the ’70s. Which is bizarre, as it’s a great song.

What changes have you seen in the Christian music world since the Jesus movement music in the ’70s?

Willard The ’70s brought a surge of Christian music with Love Song and all the groups from California. It was a great movement of music. But about 20 years ago, I remember Christian radio changing and sounding just like secular radio with DJs trying to act and talk cool, trying to be hip. A lot of the music seemed to lose something. Then, a little more than ten years ago, I saw a revival begin. Very fresh worship and praise music was coming out. Artists like Delirious, Jars of Clay, and Matt Redman were singing about relationships with the Lord again. It was encouraging to see a turn back to simple relationships with Jesus. That’s what everyone loved about early Christian music when people just sang about what Jesus was doing in their lives and they invited others to come along. It’s gotten back to that in much of Christian music.

For more information about Kelly, her music, or concerts:  http://www.kellywillard.com/index.html

 

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“Fool’s Wisdom”–Malcolm & Alwyn, [1973]

Alwyn Wall, Jano Wall and Tom Hooper at Calvary Chapel Melbourne, Florida, playing “Fool’s Wisdom.”

Malcolm and Alwyn were a popular British gospel beat music group in the 1970s. They played Beatles-influenced rock music with lyrics reflecting their conversion to Christianity. The duo was composed of Malcolm Wild and Alwyn Wall, who had been performing together in a band called “The Zodiacs” prior to their conversion.

Malcolm and Alwyn recorded two albums in the early ’70s before they disbanded in 1976, and a live reunion album in 1981 before again parting ways. The live album was recorded on January 24, 1981 at Calvary Chapel, Costa Mesa, California.

They recorded “Fool’s Wisdom” in 1973.  It is a simple, spiritual song.  It identifies and expresses the heart of the early “Jesus Movement.”  My personal thinking is that is, the simplicity of lyrics and performance was a blessing.  When I first listened to “Fool’s Wisdom” back in 1976, I was astounded.  Not for its flair, or pyrotechnics, but for its core simplicity.

Fool’s Wisdom Lyrics

Got myself some wisdom from a leather-backed book
Got myself a Saviour when I took a second look
Opened up the pages and what did I find?
A black and white portrait of a King who’s a friend of mine
Funny how when you think you’re right
Everybody else must be wrong
Till someone with Fool’s Wisdom somehow comes along
His voice was strange and the words He said
I didn’t quite understand
Yet I know that he was speaking right
By the leather-backed book in his hand
Hey, hey, what a day!… Fool’s Wisdom
Got myself some wisdom from a leather-backed book
Got myself a Saviour when I took a second look

 

“The message of the cross is foolish to those who are headed for destruction! But we who are being saved know it is the very power of God.”

1 Corinthians 1:18, NLT

Some of this was edited from Wikipedia.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Malcolm_and_Alwyn and

http://robertigno-christianblogspotcom.blogspot.com/2008/10/malcolm-and-alwyn-fools-wisdom-1973.html

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“Let’s Trade Your Salvation” by Isaac Air Freight

Episode: “Let’s Trade Your Salvation”

Isaac Air Freight was a Christian comedy team first formed in 1976. It originally consisted of three people, Dave Toole, Dan Rupple, and Larry Watt. Watt left after the release of their first album. He was replaced by Mitch Teemley, who largely did serious or “good guy” parts, for the second and third albums. (Watt and Teemley did not contribute to the writing. After leaving Isaac Air Freight, Teemley formed the team Mitch & Allen for which he wrote as well as acted.)

Rupple and Toole released five more Isaac Air Freight albums. The last of these, Over Our Heads (1987), featured contributions from members of Christian rock band Daniel Amos.

Comedy is not our usual fare here on BB, and maybe that should change.  IAF brought a slightly more sophistication to the Church theater or skit scene.  They inspired a lot of believers to work in the creative arts.  In some sense I suppose you could describe them as a Christian version of Monty Python, but that isn’t a real good analogy either.

Here at BB we have the Contemporary Christian Music Index.  It is a link that opens up early Christian music of the 70s-80s.  You’ll find this index (which is constantly growing,  https://brokenbelievers.com/?s=CCM

 

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A Stranger to Your Holiness

Below are the lyrics to a CCM song that I listened to over and over, circa 1982-83. The album is Steve Camp‘s, “Shake Me to Wake Me“, and there are several songs of reasonable significance on it.  Unfortunately, I no longer have a copy, if you should find one, I’d be happy to take it off your hands.  You’d make this “Jesus Freak” a happy man. Even if you can’t do YouTube, I encourage you to read these lyrics as if it were a poem.

Lyrics to “Stranger To Your  Holiness,”  by Steve Camp

Looks like the boy’s in trouble again
Living much too close to the edge of sin
Now he finds himself where he should not have been
Oh God, why is Your peace so hard to find
And the answer to the questions that haunt my mind
Oh Lord, Your ways are not like mine
And it pounds like thunder within in my breast
All the anger of my humanness
And though I call You “Lord” I must confess
I’m a stranger to Your holiness, a stranger to Your holiness
Can we really be what we were meant to be
Jesus’ people, living by the Spirit and living free
My heart longs to serve, but wanders so aimlessly
Oh Lord You deserve every part of me
Hear my cry of desperation as I see the wickedness of my ways
You alone are my salvation, and Lord I’ve learned this one thing to be true
Is that the closer I get to You, I see I’m a stranger (to Your holiness)
Don’t wanna be no stranger, and it burns like a fire…

As I follow Jesus as His simple disciple, I’m very aware of the issues that tangle me. It is like a net that drops and I get quite caught in it. But we really are asked to shake these things off. In 35 years of following Him, I find my personal sin is more clear to me then ever as I follow Him. “Ye shall be holy, for I am holy.” Lord hold me close as you continue to deal with me.

“Such a large crowd of witnesses is all around us! So we must get rid of everything that slows us down, especially the sin that just won’t let go. And we must be determined to run the race that is ahead of us. 2We must keep our eyes on Jesus, who leads us and makes our faith complete.”

Hebrews 12:1-2, CEV

Mr. Camp reaches into places that the average Christian musician misses, and communicates relevance to all those who seek His face.  This particular song has a lyrical integrity and sensitivity that makes it stellar.  As I ponder the words I find myself with someone who understands me and my issues.  I hope this blesses.

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