an intense love, battle, believer, betrayal, Bible, Bible promises, Bible study, boldness, broken believers, brothers, Bryan's comments, contrite heart, crisis, decisions, deliverance, desperation, devotional, difficulties, discipleship, encouragement, faith, faith that works, faithfulness, friends, giving, humility, kindness, life lessons, lost causes, mental illness, personal comments, presence of God, ragamuffins, rascals and strugglers, respect, rest in God, Serving Mentally Ill Christians, spiritual lessons, understanding, Very helpful, weakness, will of God

When Rags Became Grace

“Ebedmelech from Ethiopia was an official at the palace, and he heard what they had done to me. So he went to speak with King Zedekiah, who was holding court at Benjamin Gate. 9Ebedmelech said, “Your Majesty, Jeremiah is a prophet, and those men were wrong to throw him into a well. And when Jerusalem runs out of food, Jeremiah will starve to death down there.” 10Zedekiah answered, “Take thirty of my soldiers and pull Jeremiah out before he dies.”

11Ebedmelech and the soldiers went to the palace and got some rags from the room under the treasury. He used ropes to lower them into the well. 12Then he said, “Put these rags under your arms so the ropes won’t hurt you.” After I did, 13the men pulled me out. And from then on, I was kept in the courtyard of the palace guards.”

Jeremiah 38:8-13, CEV

At the very last, there was just one remaining.  A single man, Ebedmelech.  He was a Ethiopian; made a eunuch by the will of the king.  The situation in Jerusalem has gotten very difficult.  In an action of revenge and reprisal, certain men intend to kill the prophet Jeremiah.  They take a certain satisfaction in this, and Jeremiah is thrown into a very deep cistern.  They intend for him to starve to death, which is a terrible way to die.

The king in these last pathetic days is being manipulated by the surviving leadership of the city.  Zedekiah gives tacit approval for the destruction of Jeremiah.  He just lets it happen without a good reason.  The prophet is lowered in the muddy cistern.  Without food, he will soon starve.  In the minds of this evil mob, they have taken care of the any last vestiges of a godly ‘righteousness.’

But there is one, he is a wild card.  And no man would have guessed it.  Ebedmelech, the Ethiopian eunuch steps forward and decides to change history.  Not only his ethnicity, but his state as a castrated man are definite issues.  This mob never recognized him as someone who would intervene.  He was a non-entity, a non-factor. He was black, and a eunuch, a nobody.

But Ebedmelech is intervening, in the face of terrible risk, he steps out boldly to make an intercession.  He doesn’t appear to be intimidated, and makes a cry for the truth.  He becomes an intense and strong advocate for the release of Jeremiah from the deep mud.

Ebedmelech is given the ‘green-light’ by king Zedekiah. Ebedmelech rounds up thirty men to assist him as he delivers the prophet.  Ropes are brought out, and out comes Ebedmelech with a big armload of rags.  They shout down to Jeremiah.  The instructions are called down to him of what needs to take place for the extraction.

It’s interesting, but the rags are the most interesting. 

They are really an extra touch, not a necessity.  The rags become essentially, a form of grace.  They would pad the ropes, providing a degree of comfort as the prophet is pulled up out of the mud.  Ebedmelech showed the heart of God in what he did.  There was his desire to somehow make the prophet comfortable.  In doing so he communicated a kindness and concern that was saturated with God’s own enveloping presence.

Our illnesses– physical or mental, have moved us to a lonely place on the edge. 

We are those on the so-called ‘margins.’ Ebedmelech has now become a carrier of God’s grace.  Jeremiah could have been lifted up by just the ropes.  It would’ve been more difficult, granted.  But the rags sent down by Ebedmelech provided the prophet an extra gentleness.  And I am certain it did not pass by without notice.  Their mention in this Book of Jeremiah is significant, and shows Jeremiah’s deep appreciation of kindness.

We can gather up much from what has been written.  We will sometimes find ourselves in parallel situations.  But our kindness and concern can make the difference.  Admittedly, they are quite insignificant–quite minor. Call it ‘icing on the cake.’ But when you show the kindness of our Father, you will infuse the situation with love, and grace.  

So be an  Ebedmelech,—  an outcast perhaps– but in a position of kindness.


bry-signat (1)



believer, broken believers, caregivers, comfort, compassion, counseling, depression, despair, discernment, discipleship, fellowship of the saints, friends, friendship, gentleness, giftedness, Jesus Christ, lessons learned, mental illness, personal comments, psychotherapy, quite useful, ragamuffins, rascals and strugglers, Serving Mentally Ill Christians, spiritual lessons, understanding, wisdom

Rainy Day People

“Rainy day people always seem to know when it’s time to call,
Rainy day people don’t talk, they just listen till they’ve heard it all.
Rainy day lovers don’t lie when they tell ‘ya they’ve been down like you.
Rainy day people don’t mind if you’re cryin’ a tear or two.”

Gordon Lightfoot, 1975

“The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense.”

Proverbs 27:9, NLT

“Wise words are more valuable than much gold and many rubies.”

Proverbs 20:15

I’ve discovered that good counsel invariably comes from a good person. 

But its more then that, not everyone can do it.  At one time I thought any mature Christian believer had a right to give guidance, but that really wasn’t the case.  I also believe that every believer will receive a minimum of a ‘spiritual semester’ in counseling. The Holy Spirit will come to teach you. We have to learn there is wisdom, and there is counseling. And at times, “wise counseling.” Choose your rainy day people carefully. Mark them out beforehand; before things get out of hand.

“From a wise mind comes wise speech;
    the words of the wise are persuasive.”

Proverbs 16:23

Proverbs tells us that giving good advice is as rare as gold or silver.  I have met so many people who have an opinion about my problems, but few want to listen.  And listening skills are what my counselors need.  Job’s friends were the best counselors when they sat quietly in the ashes with him. They were sterling silver until… well, you know what happened next.

I need to unload my issues.  Personally, I need someone who has been profoundly depressed and finally stumbled out into the light.  It’s not that I don’t love certain believers, but they haven’t been “checked out” on this particular problem.  It’s like flying a plane, or operating heavy equipment.  If they haven’t suffered, then leave me alone–but, please do pray for me.

I read this somewhere, “Unless you have been lost in this particular section of hell– just shut up!”  I don’t want to be rude, or ungrateful, but I really need someone who has visited hell on occasion. And especially down this specific corridor. People who have been damaged by life know what I mean.

Often counselors are offering a very small part of the needed wisdom. They must accept this. I place a premium on the counsel of a few dear friends, even though I have hundreds of Christian relationships.  I don’t diminish those relationships, but I do know that certain people are not tested on certain problems.  This may be simplistic, or a little harsh.  But when I had my brain tumor, I did not want my car mechanic to fix me, I wanted a neurosurgeon. And both are wonderful people. I’m fortunate to have them.

If you’re reading this, and you have a mental illness issue that’s starting to escalate, you need to reach out.  Realize, that 1 in 70 people, [more or less] are qualified to deal with mental illness.  Ask the Holy Spirit for his help in this.  He is the Comforter and the Wonderful Counselor.  He will direct you, and help you.  That is what He does.



“If you have knowledge, let others light their candles at it.” –Thomas Fuller

“A saying I heard years ago: ‘It doesn’t matter what you do. Just do something, even if it’s wrong!’ That’s the most stupid counsel I’ve ever heard. Never do what’s wrong! Do nothing until it’s right. Then do it with all your might. That’s wise counsel.”  –Chuck Swindoll

bry-signat (1)



a holy shelter, a pursued soul, an intense love, believer, Bible promises, broken believers, comfort, devotional, discipleship, encouragement, following Jesus, friends, God's acceptance, grace, heart knowledge, Jesus Christ, kyrie eleison, lessons learned, life, life lessons, love, peace, personal comments, pleasing God, ragamuffins, rascals and strugglers, rest in God, Serving Mentally Ill Christians, spiritual lessons, strength, thoughtful and aware, understanding

Learning to Lean [Intimacy]


jesus-with-a-disciple“One of His disciples, whom Jesus loved [whom He esteemed and delighted in], was reclining [next to Him] on Jesus’ bosom.”  

John 13:23, Amplified


“One of the disciples, the one Jesus loved dearly, was reclining against him, his head on his shoulder.”  

John 13:23, The Message

(Two translations of the same verse.)

 Good posture is one of those intangibles that parents are always trying to influence.  “Sit up straight” or the classic, “stop slouching”.  I’m convinced that this is purely genetics at work.  The apostle, traditionally John, is found sitting at the table with the rest of the disciples.  It is an intimate and relaxing affair as they eat and talk and rest in a cool, quiet room.

John sits next to Jesus, an informal place of honor.  The scripture says that he just rests his head on Jesus’ shoulder.  And Jesus did nothing to stifle such behavior.  Often, with men it would be very uncomfortable and distracting.  I remember in Mexico watching men holding hands, as good friends.  I have heard that this is true in other cultures as well.

The intimacy between Jesus and John strikes us as a little weird.  But for Jesus it was encouraging.  He felt John’s love and perhaps confidence.  There certainly was no impropriety or anything suggestive.  It was an immensely precious moment, especially for the apostle John.  Artists always paint John with a sincere and peaceful countenance.  This moment most likely contributed to his serenity.

It was getting dark.  Jesus had just hours before the nightmare would begin. When the black rolls in, and it begins to get scary, resting your head on Jesus’ shoulder is a wonderful place to be.  We may not look at it like this, but I believe Jesus is comforted.  He is encouraged by our affection.

We can make Him happy and content by our simple tokens of affection.

The ‘arm of the Lord’ is spoken of repeatedly by the prophets.  They had a prophetic insight into the strength of God.  We call it, ‘omnipotence’, and our understanding is that He has all strength, and all power– all of the time.  I think that John was leaning on that omnipotence.  But it still was motivated by his affection and love for Jesus.  Our Savior is strong enough to carry our immense burdens and all of our loads.


bry-signat (1)
anxiety, bad doctrine, battle, battle wounds, believer, Bible, bipolar disorder, blood of Jesus, brokenness, brothers, bruised mind, challenges, compassion, creativity, dance, delusions, dementia, depression, despair, desperation, despondancy, difficulties, discernment, disease, distinctiveness, dual disorders, encouragement, endurance, eternal life, failure, faith, following Jesus, forgiveness, friends, gifts, grace, handicapped, heaven, impulsive, kyrie eleison, lessons learned,, life, life lessons, lost causes, love, manic depression, medications, mental illness, mercy, mood swings, moods, pain, paranoia, personal comments, prayer, promises, Psychiatric Ward, quite useful,, SAD, sadness, Satan, scars, self-pity, Serving Mentally Ill Christians, shame, sickness, sin, spiritual lessons, spiritual warfare, stigma, suffering, tangled up, transparency, trust, understanding, wisdom, worship

Dancing With Bruises


Bruises seem to be part of life’s package to us. Some will be serious, most minor. But each are noted, and some will just have to be endured.

Dancers are some of the most wonderful people I know. Their gracefulness can be seen both on and off the stage. A dancer’s training is far from easy. By choosing to become dancers they have made a decision to absorb pain. Their toes and feet are blistered and bruised; they take constant abuse. Some must live with chronic tendinitis. Their feet bleed sometimes, and pain is their constant companion. Two things to consider.

  • They choose to dance. Dancers have an iron-will and a elegant grace. I suppose that is why they can dance.
  • The scars and bruises often become “badges of honor.” And they wouldn’t have it any other way. They would rather dance in pain, than not to dance at all.

Someone once compared depression as a “mental bruise.” I understand this. As depressed people, we must choose to walk out our lives from this pain. I know what it is like to bury myself in my bed for several weeks. My own mental bruise was simply more than I could take. There was a sensation of sinking into blackness, a sense of total and complete despair. I felt completely lost, and completely alone.

I prayed. I groaned, and I prayed. My sense of being totally lost was beyond comprehension. Dear reader, this was something quite real, and you must become aware of these things. Some of your friends are suffering. And it is a hellish and desperate depression.dancer-feet

To my Christian friends. Yes, I believe Jesus died for all my sins. He has forgiven me of much evil, I know that will live for eternity (with you). But mental illness is real, and like other illnesses it seldom is caused by evil or Satan. We would never say that diabetics are that way because of the enemy. Now the dark one will surely exploit it, but I think you give him far too much credit if you suggest he was able to initiate it. Satan just doesn’t have the spiritual “voltage.”

So, inspired by my dancing friends, and the Holy Spirit– I will make the choice to dance again. I’m pretty bruised, but I will try to ignore the pain. I would exult in my God, walk in His love, “leaping with joy like calves let out to pasture” (Malachi 4:2.)

“A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out, till he has brought justice through to victory.”

Isaiah 42:3

bry-signat (1)


advice, an intense love, battle wounds, believer, Bible promises, blessings, Bryan's comments, complexity, confidence, conflict, creativity, decisions, devotional, discipleship, doubt, faith, faithfulness, Father God, following Jesus, friends, glory of God, God, goodness, grace, Jesus Christ, kingdom of God, lessons learned,, life, life lessons, listening, ministry, missions, obedience, peace, personal comments, pleasing God, prayer, presence of God, promises, reality, Serving Mentally Ill Christians, spiritual lessons, spiritual warfare, strength, taking risks, trust, understanding, Very helpful, waiting, watching and waiting, worry

The God of Coincidences


“For he must reign until he has put all his enemies under his feet.”

1 Corinthians 15:25

In the spring of 1995, I was taking my family across the border into Mexico to live. All we owned was what we could pack in the trunk of my old Chevy. We were flat broke and unsure of where we would spend the night. But we heard from the Lord; we knew he was leading us into a situation where we must walk by faith, and not by sight.”

We were caravaning with missionaries who were to be stationed about 40 miles south of our ultimate destination. But we had separated two days before in Arizona. We knew we would see them a bit later. The evening before our crossing, we managed to scrape enough money to spend one last night in San Diego.

I’m ashamed to say that I was not the man of faith and power that I should of been. I cried out a desperate and short prayer, “Help me God, show me that this is really you. I need to know that your hand is in this.” I was taking my wife, and two small children into Mexico, and we didn’t even know where we were going to spend the night.

I was pretty stressed the morning of our crossing, and hearing nothing from the Lord. We merged into the heavy traffic for our inspection when we heard a horn behind us. I just thought it was part of the process, and ignored it. But it kept honking. I looked in the mirror to see what the problem was.

Directly behind us was the couple we had been with in Arizona! Suddenly I knew this was God speaking directly to me. I was staggered as I extrapolated the odds of this happening, it was unbelievable. We had left them behind two days ago and now we meet up at the very precise time, in the same lane of traffic.  The odds of us converging at the same time had to be astronomical!

The Lord spoke to me right then and there, “I am in control.” All my anxiety, all my fear just lifted– I knew deep down He was leading us. I could trust Him, even though life seemed so very precarious. We were in His hands! This would be a faith booster in some hard times to come.

You may have had an experience like mine. When God touches a heart and makes it peaceful– it is a beautiful thing. But it can be something different. The Apostle Paul on the Damascus Road was stunned when Jesus spoke to him. Paul’s companions heard a voice but saw nothing (Acts 9:7).

We must become people who insist that every believer have their own experiences with God.

It is the spiritual privilege of every child of God. When “it” happens, it will be something to be treasured. Looking back I see that moments like this enable one to go through a great deal. Someone once said, “Coincidence is when God wants to remain anonymous.”

When we hear his voice or see his handiwork, it is truly then we become his disciples.




believer, depression, discipleship, friends, friendship, mental illness, personal comments, photos, Serving Mentally Ill Christians, understanding

Depression Hurts, [Photo]

They won’t.

Your friends “fingers” might be appreciated, but they can’t lift the darkness. They may want to help you, but they are limited in what they can do. Overcoming depression has to start from the inside, and the Holy Spirit will lead you through this.  The darkness doesn’t always lift, but the Lord’s presence soothes and comforts.


“For the enemy has pursued my soul;
    he has crushed my life to the ground;
    he has made me sit in darkness like those long dead.”

Psalm 143:3, ESV

“Rejoice not over me, O my enemy;
    when I fall, I shall rise;
    when I sit in darkness,
    the Lord will be a light to me.”

Micah 7:8, ESV


ybic, Bryan


an intense love, anxiety, believer, Bible, body life, church, church life, devotional, discipleship, failure, following Jesus, friends, Gethsemane, intercession, Jesus Christ, life lessons, personal comments, pleasing God, prayer, ragamuffins, rascals and strugglers, Serving Mentally Ill Christians, spiritual lessons, spiritual warfare, suffering, trials, understanding, Very helpful

Gethsemane Unappreciated

” Then he returned and found the disciples asleep. He said to Peter, “Simon, are you asleep? Couldn’t you watch with me even one hour?” 

Mark 14:37

I honestly think what broke Jesus up the most was being disappointed by His trusty disciples.  This was devastating.  I believe that He was counting on the disciples to be there for Him.  They simply fell asleep while sitting with Jesus. Now it’s no secret that we need sleep.  Sleeping is a part of life, it is something that we require.  But we can forego it, without too many issues.  Truck drivers and med interns do it all the time–it’s no big deal.

But precious Peter sleeps through the most critical time of His best friends life–even after an explanation.  Jesus craves their closeness.  The humanness of Jesus yearns for His friends–His companions. He was lonely, and alone.

robin1aThere is a legend of the Brittany peasants that explains how the robin got its red breast. As Jesus was being led out to Calvary, a bird, pitying Him, flew down and plucked one thorn from the crown of thorns He wore. The blood spurted from the wound and splashed the bird’s breast.  It would be from that moment on the bird with the red breast– the valiant robin.

The robin did what it could.  The disciples didn’t. After sleeping for a bit, they would scatter.  They gave Jesus no solace, no comfort. All they did was to make Gethsemane harder.  Death was something Jesus knew was imminent.  The torture would brutalize Him even before the cross.  But, He would go it alone, without His friends.  Jesus would take all the sin on His shoulders and carry it away from us.

Today, we can make up for the disciples gross negligence. In some way, we can sit with Jesus, and spend time with Him, alert to the intercessory burden He carries for the Church. It is an active ministry of simple availability to being used in this way.

“Christ bears the wounds of the church, his body,  just as he bore the wounds of crucifixion. I sometimes wonder which have hurt worse.”

Philip Yancey

“So let us go out to him, outside the camp, and bear the disgrace he bore.  14 For this world is not our permanent home; we are looking forward to a home yet to come.”

Hebrews 13:13-14

bry-signat (1)