For many who have struggled with depression, as I have, often suffer from an underlying brokenness that stems from past tragedies that we can’t seem to completely forget. We try to understand why and pray for forgetfulness that never seems to come. But even so, when we know Jesus as our Savior the Light is never extinguished.
Memories Haunt in the Light
I stand upon the solid Rock
I’ve found my firm foundation
Living each day in the Light
Being sure of my salvation
I know His words of grace are true
‘Cause I feel them deep in my heart
I rise each day, out into the world
And that’s when the memories start
The sky is blue, the sun is bright
A chill wind stings my face
I should be happy and light, but cold
Triggers thoughts I seem to chase
Like Paul with his thorn, I pray the Lord
Would remove the pain today
“My grace is sufficient,” He replies
As over and over I cry and pray
But what if grace is not enough
As this memory haunts the light
This is when I must trust and believe
To escape the darkness of night
He uses this memory of pain
To teach me compassion and grace
For the bruised and the broken
Haunted by memories of disgrace
He’s made me merciful and kind
This lesson is not meant to destroy
But some days I’d rather be less caring
And remember only love and joy
My Rock remains firm beneath me
In spite of my doubt and fury
His grace will suffice, I rest in His Light
One day this memory He’ll bury
The Jerusalem shekelHow much money a person has can make a big difference in many things in life. It can mean the difference between shopping for groceries as Whole Foods or WinCo, or not being able to shop at all but having to go to a food bank instead.
Money can mean the difference between driving a BMW, or a 30-year-old “beater car”, or not being able to have a car at all. Money can mean the difference between having designer clothes and a nice house or wearing hand-me-down clothes and living in a one-room shack, or not having but the clothes on your back and a cardboard box to keep you warm at night.
But there is one thing that’s available to all regardless of financial circumstances. The rich have no more claim to it than the poor. And that is the gift of salvation offered through the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross.
Once when I was reading through Luke, I came to the story of when Jesus, after His resurrection, appeared to some disciples on the road to Emmaus. Describing His conversation with them, Luke says, “And beginning with Moses and all the Prophets, he explained to them what was said in all the Scriptures concerning himself.” Luke 24:27.
When I read that, I realized that all of the Old Testament, and not just the New Testament, is about Jesus. He existed before the world began and His story is the story of God’s relationship with His people. At that time, I prayed and asked God to show me where Jesus was revealed in the Old Testament scriptures as I read them.
Another time, in answer to that prayer, God revealed an interesting passage to me in Exodus. Generally, the book of Exodus is considered the story of Moses leading the Israelites out of Egypt and their subsequent wanderings in the desert of Sinai. This is not a book where one normally would think to find reference to Jesus. But it is there nonethless.
Then the LORD said to Moses, ”When you take a census of the Israelites to count them, each one must pay the LORD a ransom for his life at the time he is counted. . . . Each one who crosses over to those already counted is to give a half shekel, according to the sanctuary shekel, which weighs twenty gerahs.
This half shekel is an offering to the LORD. All who cross over, those twenty years old or more, are to give an offering to the LORD. The rich are not to give more than a half shekel and the poor are not to give less when you make the offering to the LORD to atone for your lives.”
Exodus 30:11-15, NIV
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p>When I read this, it became clear that the price to ransom every person’s life is the same. Whether we are rich or poor, the price to pay for all our sins and redeem us, to reconcile us with God, is the same. And that price was the life of Jesus Christ; He is the half shekel. The price has been paid. Satan seeks to hold us captive, but God paid the kidnapper’s ransom 2000 years ago on Calvary.
The rich are no better off because they could give more; the poor are not at a disadvantage because they cannot pay the price themselves. Standing before God on our judgment day, rich or poor stand in the same position. The only question is whether you and I will claim we have paid the price ourselves by our good deeds and works, or whether we will accept the offer of Jesus to take care of our debt and to pay our ransom price.
So are you feeling like you are a half-shekel short in life? Look to Jesus who is our half-shekel who ransomed us all for God.
I just want to encourage you to consider something. Specifically, your relationship with your wife. Whether you acknowledge it or not, she has been specifically given (assigned?) to you for a solid purpose. A couple of simple thoughts.
You made a covenant before God and His people to love, serve and honor her– in sickness or health, for richer or poorer. This obligates you for the remainder of your life on earth.
Your wife is a compliment to your self. She enhances and enriches you as a person. Your sins and flaws (I’m sure there is a few) are covered and protected by your “help-meet.” You’ve been ‘graced’ by her. (And you also bless her.)
All other sisters, are forever off-limits. You are your wife’s exclusive partner. The ring you wear on your left hand must be a reminder of your status; it must ‘speak’ to you of this special covenant always.
The girls that you dated before your wedding were special, but they were pretty much there to prepare (hone and polish) you, for your wife. You are a different person because of them. Don’t fantasize about how different life would be if you connected someway with ‘x’ or ‘y’ or ‘z.’ Don’t mess with reality.
You are meant to serve your wife. The definite way you honor her is the solid way you serve the Lord God. When you pour out on her, you are pouring out on the Lord Himself.
Never, ever compare your wife to anyone else. You are foolish if you do. She is ‘unlike’ anyone else.
You must lead your wife, and family to the Lord. You are a priest of your home, completely responsible. You must be an intercessor for them, for they are in your care.
God’s grace will meet you, and if you ask for it He will give it to you. All of this should overwhelm you, and if it doesn’t you don’t understand. The Holy Spirit knows all that you need, and He will guide you into the truth.
Your children are there as a result of your love for your wife. They are looking to you for guidance. They depend on you at every turn.
“Everyone sings the blues, and everyone plays the fool.” You will sin, and fall. There will be serious seasons of doubt, and confusion. There will be seasons when you are disoriented about your wife. But stay the course, and all will be well.
I do want to stress that to be a true and faithful husband will demand as much of God’s grace as it would take to pastor a “mega-church.” I surely would not advise you to do the ‘status-quo’ as a husband and father. You can do it, but I think you will regret it later.
As a husband (and father) means you are in the ministry, as much as a pastor, or church leader. You must be faithful and humble. What you do, or think affects far more people than you realize. I encourage you to discover other men who share this calling.
“Then the men who were designated by name rose up and took the captives, and from the spoil they clothed all who were naked among them, dressed them and gave them sandals, gave them food and drink, and anointed them; and they let all the feeble ones ride on donkeys. So they brought them to their brethren at Jericho, the city of palm trees. Then they returned to Samaria.”
2 Chronicles 28:15
I once was held captive by sin, ransacked and naked, starving and bereft of hope.
Lord, thank You for saving me, restoring me and returning me to the place I belong . . with You. And here’s a simple poem . . .
Brought Back
Love clothes me and feeds me and fills up my flaws. Love anoints me and establishes me in the presence of all.
Broken Believers 