Category: depression

Sharing My Heart and My Trauma

Most people who meet me today would never guess the trauma I’ve been through. And when I was drowning the depths of major clinical depression, I couldn’t see it was that trauma that was the catalyst for my misery. I’m not sure I have it all figured out, even now, though it is clearer than it once was.

The thing about my story is that the trauma part is all too common. Rape and abortion are traumas that happen to far too many women (and sometimes men) in this broken world we live in. Healing sometimes feels impossible. But I am living proof that it is not.

Although I still struggle with depression at times, it is quite mild in comparison to what I endured for almost a decade in my late twenties and early thirties. I no longer feel like all hope is lost. In spite of my trauma, I am living and thriving in God’s grace.

I’d love to share my story with you in the hopes that it would be for you a light in the darkness you feel stuck in. I was blessed to be asked to tell my story on a podcast and you can listen to that podcast episode here: https://heartofthematterradio.libsyn.com/linda-kruschke-overcome-past-hurts-final. I do hope it blesses you to listen as much as it blessed me to be able to share. Thanks for reading. I love you.

You can read more from me at AnotherFearlessYear.net. Please come and visit.

Praying for the Weak and Lonely

 Those of us who are stronger must pray for those who are not.

We need to “stand in the gap” and intercede for those who are struggling so hard. Each of us has a sphere of influence, family, and friends–use it. They’re counting on us to lift their need to the Father.

Let’s pray right now . . .

God our comforter, you are a refuge and a strength for us, a helper close at hand in times of distress. Enable us to defend others so they’ll hear the words of faith. May their fear be dispelled, their loneliness is eased, and anxiety is calmed, and hope reawakened.

May your Holy Spirit lift them above sorrow to the peace and light of your steady constant love; through Jesus Christ, our Savior and Lord.

Amen.

These are words of faith that force fear and anxiety to leave, and these words can calm and protect. We truly believe that God’s power can strengthen them. We can trust the Spirit to transform their lives and overcome their weaknesses.

“The weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but are powerful through God for the demolition of strongholds.” 

2 Cor. 10:4

Let’s pray for all those who are weak and lonely. They need us more than ever.

A prayer based from p.360-361 of Evangelical Lutheran Worship: Pastoral Care.

A Charlie Brown Kind of a Depression

depressed=stance

As we start to wrestle with our embedded issues, we suddenly realize that the battle is in largely inside.  Maybe the last few days have been hard, and perhaps we sense a dark presence pressing; and we sometimes wonder if we’ll ever see the light again.

How do unbelievers do it?

As a “born-again” believer, I can get deeply challenged by depression, I simply can’t understand any real life outside of my faith in Jesus. The Holy Spirit meets me, holds me, and speaks peaceful things to me.  I’ve been promised things of wonder and of grace.

I’ve discovered that self-pity and discouragement are main ingredients into my excursions through bleakness and sadness.  In my more profound journey’s into darkness, I find myself seeing the physical world around me literally drained of color.  Everything around me is in “black and white.”  (I have been told this is one of many symptoms of depression.)

Charlie Brown seems to hit the proverbial nail on the head.

I sometimes catch myself smiling, and I immediately stop and say, “Wait. I’m very depressed.  I can’t be seen smiling, or enjoying a walk on the beach.” Often we choose to act in ways that reinforces our illness.  We think we have to be a certain way, stand in another, or even walk around like we’re very gloomy people.

Not true. Sometimes depressed people seem to be the happiest.

Depression is very real.  Medication is mandated for many.  But truthfully, I see there’s an perverse element of chosen melancholy.  Our self-pity works hand-in-hand with our image and identity.  It seems we have to be somebody, even if we have to be a crazy person. Weird, I know.

After all, we have to excel at something, don’t we?

I imagine that this blog has been a challenge at times.  I write these daily blogs out of my own attitudes, and issues and problems.  But there is a “Charlie Brown Depression,” the type where we feel like we must be inconsolable all the time.  Just be aware. It’s real.

If while in the pit, and for some reason you think of something that’s funny, go ahead and smile, its okay.  I’m learning that things are never as sad or grim as I think, nor are they rosy and joy saturated either.  Be real.  Be real to yourself.   Walk in the truth.  And if you should–take your meds, lol.

Maybe Mr. Brown should become our new patron saint of lost causes?

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

Jeremiah 29:11

aabryscript

cropped-christiangraffiti1-2

A Really Good Prayer

My Lord God,

I have no idea where I am going.

I do not see the road ahead of me.

I cannot know for certain where it will end.

nor do I really know myself,

and the fact that I think I am following your will

does not mean that I am actually doing so.

But I believe that the desire to please you

does in fact please you.

And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing.

I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.

And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road,

though I may know nothing about it.

Therefore will I trust you always though

I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death.

I will not fear, for you are ever with me,

and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.

“The Merton Prayer” from Thoughts in Solitude Copyright © 1956, 1958 by The Abbey of Our Lady of Gethsemani.