Most people who meet me today would never guess the trauma I’ve been through. And when I was drowning the depths of major clinical depression, I couldn’t see it was that trauma that was the catalyst for my misery. I’m not sure I have it all figured out, even now, though it is clearer than it once was.
The thing about my story is that the trauma part is all too common. Rape and abortion are traumas that happen to far too many women (and sometimes men) in this broken world we live in. Healing sometimes feels impossible. But I am living proof that it is not.
Although I still struggle with depression at times, it is quite mild in comparison to what I endured for almost a decade in my late twenties and early thirties. I no longer feel like all hope is lost. In spite of my trauma, I am living and thriving in God’s grace.
I’d love to share my story with you in the hopes that it would be for you a light in the darkness you feel stuck in. I was blessed to be asked to tell my story on a podcast and you can listen to that podcast episode here: https://heartofthematterradio.libsyn.com/linda-kruschke-overcome-past-hurts-final. I do hope it blesses you to listen as much as it blessed me to be able to share. Thanks for reading. I love you.
We all experience trial and affliction no matter who we are or how lost we are. Everyone hurts. Often we see the ungodly man or woman in suffering: “Some became fools through their rebellious ways and suffered affliction because of their iniquities.”Ps. 107:17
However, it really isn’t as easy to understand the sufferings of the believers. We can try to explain it but we still end up with questions:
“Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the LORD delivers him out of them all.”
Ps. 34:19.
I guess there is some comfort in understanding that other believers are also being tested and that it is part of God’s plan.
What Are Some Godly Examples of Testing?
Job– “see thou mine affliction;” Job 10:15
Moses– “Choosing rather to suffer affliction with the people of God, than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a season.” Hebrews 11:25
David– “I am afflicted very much; revive me, O LORD, according to Your word.” Ps. 119:107
The Prophets– “My brethren, take the prophets, who spoke in the name of the Lord, as an example of suffering and patience.”James 5:10
Jesus Christ– “He was oppressed and He was afflicted, yet He opened not His mouth” Isa. 53:10
Paul– “For out of much affliction and anguish of heart” I wrote to you, with many tears. “ 2 Cor. 2:4
Many others–Hebrew 11:32-38
But it’s not enough to know the ‘reality’ of your affliction. We really want to know why. Why am I suffering in this way? Moses, probably the stellar personality in the Old Testament asked, “So Moses said to the LORD, “Why have You afflicted Your servant? And why have I not found favor in Your sight, that You have laid the burden of all these people on me?” Ex. 11:11
Afflictions Are For Our Good
Psalm 119:75 says, “I know, O LORD, that Your judgments are right, and that in faithfulness You have afflicted me.”
Why would the psalmist thank God in afflicting him? I think that perhaps he was able to see through the affliction. He then could realize that the intentions and purposes of God were good and edifying to him. He saw the divine purpose in God’s hands. He chose to trust that. No matter what his particular burden was.
This pain is working out for our good
The Bible is quite clear on this subject. “For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory” 2 Cor. 4:17. Exceeding and eternal! Words that need to impress us with their weight.
Our afflictions dare not become our focus, rather, it’s what they produce must be fully understood.
We are explicitly told this, “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose”, Romans 8:28.
Oh how Jesus loves you. Stay in that love, okay? Jude 20-21.
“We must learn to regard people less in light of what they do or omit to do, and more in the light of what they suffer.”
“And he came to her and said, “Greetings, O favored one, the Lord is with you!”“
Luke 1:28, ESV
I suppose the shepherds were the target. A full complement of angels were needed as they worshiped God in the hearing of these humble men. Nothing like this had ever happened before; the music of heaven invaded a pasture and visited unwashed men.
The Christian faith always has this fundamental aspect of ‘announcing.’ It is part and parcel to our message. The Gospel can’t be silent. It demands a simple witness to unseen realities, and it proclaims the Truth, whether we like or not.
But I’m especially fond of the shepherds.
Uncomplicated, and unpretentious they take the Good News with them as they go to witness the Christ Child. God hasn’t forgotten us. He will die a miserable death, and come to life again.
And I like this poem, an awful lot.
bA Poem, Written on Christmas Day, 1986
My mail carrier, driving his stubby white truck trimmed in blue and red, wingless, but wheeled, commissioned by the civil service
Daily delivers the Gospel every Advent.
This Gabriel, uniformed in gabardine.
Unsmiling descendant of his dazzling original,
under the burden of greetings is stoical,
but prompt: Annunciations at ten each morning.
One or two or three at a day at first;
By the second week momentum’s up,
my mail box is stuffed, each card is stamped
with a glory at a cost of twenty-five cents
(Bringing us the news that God is with us.)
First class, personally hand addressed.”
The angel said, “Don’t be afraid. I’m here to announce a great and joyful event that is meant for everybody, worldwide: A Savior has just been born in David’s town, a Savior who is Messiah and Master. This is what you’re to look for: a baby wrapped in a blanket and lying in a manger.”
Luke 2, The Message
Written by Eugene Peterson, author of “The Message” and many other works. He wrote this poem in 1986 to commemorate the power the Gospel that has in the lives of those who really have no awareness of the light they bring.
Trials are hard, and at times they seem to suffocate us and weaken our walk with God. David shares with us his own difficulty in these six verses.
A Very Brief Commentary of Psalm 13
For the choir director: A psalm of David.
O Lord, how long will you forget me? Forever? How long will you look the other way? 2 How long must I struggle with anguish in my soul, with sorrow in my heart every day? How long will my enemy have the upper hand?
V. 1-2, David believes that he has been forgotten. A phrase is repeated an astounding four times, “How long?” It seems that impatience is a significant issue for him. It makes David ‘human,’ he’s not a marble statue in a museum!
Often when it gets this outrageous, we desperately look around to find anything to fill the gap. Anything.
Something else struck me. Within these two verses, you’ll find five hard questions. Whenever you find a question in the psalms especially, you must stop reading and take a closer look–why is he asking this?
V. 2,“Anguish…sorrow, every day.” Somehow David is alert enough to recognize (and admit) that his life is saturated with real difficulty. It seems it comes and when it comes there’s no relief– it’s a constant, gnawing, challenging pain which can be physical, emotional, spiritual (or all three at once).
Turn and answer me, O Lord my God! Restore the sparkle to my eyes, or I will die. 4 Don’t let my enemies gloat, saying, “We have defeated him!”Don’t let them rejoice at my downfall.
V. 3,“Turn and answer me, O Lord my God! Restore the sparkle to my eyes, or I will die.” (I love this version–“sparkle“). David knew that life could be exceptional, it was meant to gleam and shine. There is much more than just breathing to life. He instead speaks of being restored.
V. 4, Also, he is quite aware that his life is being threatened. The word, “gloat” is an interesting translation. It has the idea of “relishing someone else’s failure.” The dark prince savors your defeat. He has been looking forward to this desperate moment. The enemy rejoices at each of your failures.
But I trust in your unfailing love. I will rejoice because you have rescued me. 6 I will sing to the Lord because he is good to me.
V. 5,“But I trust in your unfailing love. I will rejoice because you have rescued me.” The Lord has covered David with His hand. His life has been saved by a love that never falters, weakens. or hesitates. He knows that no matter what happens, God has rescued him.
Notice how David responds to the great trial of his faith and the wonderful goodness of God:
I trust.
I rejoice.
I sing.
V. 6, Tremendous. When we finally get to this last verse, we see that we have truly traveled with David. And we have learned how to sing, even if we’ve lost everything and we live in constant pain. It doesn’t really matter any more. What a good teacher David is.
Jewelers display their gems on a black background. The darkness intensifies the brightness of the jewels. They become even more beautiful to look at. David is singing and praising the Lord for His nearness.
Broken Believers 
