Toxic Shame

“My disgrace is before me all day long,
and shame has covered my face.”

Psalm 44:15

Some years ago while in prayer I saw myself, apart of God. There was a marble fountain abandoned in a gorgeous courtyard. It was beautiful. As I looked I realized that it didn’t have clean fresh water like you might think, but it spewed feces and urine. It was gross, it was awful, and I immediately understood.

I suddenly realized that I was that marble fountain, and I was spouting out only filth.

Being ashamed is cruelty that can only destroy a person. We think we must have defense mechanisms to survive. We drink, use drugs, and get involved with sex. Some might put on a tie and raise their hands during our church worship time. Whatever works I suppose. Almost always shame drives us to look for ways to escape.

People who live with shame often feel worthless, depressed, and anxious.

Shame can be a contributing factor to depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem. People who are constantly ashamed live out a difficult emotional and mental battle each and every day.

The Hebrew word for “shame” is disgrace, confusion, or dishonor.

I believe only the power and blood of Jesus can purify me. Only He has the ability to clean my spirit. In the New Testament, we see Jesus healing the leper with just a touch. Shame will be removed from your heart when He touches your own “leprosy” of sin.

Here are things you must consider.

  • Shame separates me from God.
  • Shame is a sign of self-hatred.
  • Shame makes me feel like giving up.
  • Shame leads me to go out and sin more.
  • Shame destroys the gifts that He is waiting for me to serve others.
  • Shame makes me judgemental and critical of others.
  • Shame weakens the Church in ways I can’t comprehend.

God intends to move you out of shame and guilt. You must have faith to put His Word into practice before you can be really free. It will probably be a battle–every day. Faith is the only way to freedom. The following promise is crucial.

“But if we confess our sins to him, he can be depended on to forgive us and to cleanse us from every wrong. And it is perfectly proper for God to do this for us because Christ died to wash away our sins.”

1 John 1:9, LB

I must reiterate this, and use the authority God has given to me as a teacher of the Word, please shake off the humiliation you live in. You must do this.

Unless you step completely away from the shame of your life you’ll be destroyed by the enemy. I dare not pull any punches with you. I don’t mean to be hard, I really don’t. But I do understand. I really do.

“Once again you will have compassion on us. You will tread our sins beneath your feet; you will throw them into the depths of the ocean!”

Micah 7:19

You can be free from sin and shame. God has a way.

It is the cross of Jesus, and by His blood–that is the only way sin and shame can be cleansed from our lives. There is nothing else in the whole universe that will do this. Only the red blood can turn the black into white.

I strongly suggest you share your battle with another believer who will understand and be discreet. (Sharing this maybe is the step you’re missing?)

Shame is the ugly fountain that only produces deadly things. It’s that shame that keeps me from understanding that I’m the beloved of God and His precious child.

 

Walking This Broken Road by Faith

credit: www.internetmonk.com

     David Wilkerson

In one of my early blog posts at lindakruschke.wordpress.com, I was lamenting that remembering my past made me a little blue, because I had regrets and things have happened to me that were less than wonderful. But I have been reminded that I am who I am because of my history.

A week later I was listening to the CD  Stay by Jeremy Camp in my car alot. One of the songs on that CD is called Walk by Faith, but all week I really haven’t tuned into that song even though it is the one I really needed to hear. Then one night I was listening to my iPod while I was making dinner, and had it on shuffle of my Christian Music playlist. This is something I hadn’t done for awhile – I had listening to the Oldies playlist or the Sad Heartache Songs playlist instead. I started out that night listening to the Grunge playlist, but it wasn’t helping my mood at all (now that’s a big surprise, not).

It just so happened that the third song to play on the Christian music playlist while I was chopping veggies for homemade chicken noodle soup was Walk by Faith. The chorus goes like this:

As I heard those words, I realized that the broken road I have traveled (and don’t we all travel a broken road of some kind?) has made me who I am. It has taught me love, compassion, empathy, and, most importantly, faith.

If my life had been perfect and easy, with no pain and heartache, first of all I wouldn’t be human. But secondly, I would be a different, perhaps shallower person. I might not even be happy.

So I have decided not to lament or regret my past.

I needed to see it for what it is: the broken road that has prepared me to be the person God wants me to be to those around me. Because ultimately, those around me have traveled a broken road too. And sometimes it is a very similar broken road so that we can relate to each other’s journey. Maybe, as I walk that road by faith, I can help others to walk by faith, too.

Besides, without the lessons learned on my broken road I would have nothing but fluff to write and my blogging would have no purpose.

Have you been walking on a broken road?

Have faith that God will use your experiences to make you the person He has planned for you to be so that you can be a blessing to others walking that broken road with you.

Linda K.
anotherfearlessyear.net

Jesus Christ Lives Inside of Me

Jesus Christ Lives Inside Me!

At first this seems audacious and egotistical. To think that the Creator and Sustainer of the known (and unknown!) universe is living inside me seems delusional. But what does the Bible say? And, are we willing to live out as redeemed Christians what the scriptures say?

But he who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him.

1 Corinthians 6:17

“For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. 4 When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.”

Colossians 3:3-4

A bold verse is found in Paul’s letter to the Ephesians. In my mind it clearly describes something that we really need to think about. What does it mean, and what are its implications?

“So that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love,”.

Ephesians 4:17

There are descriptions that illustrate this amazing truth. These are the Holy Spirit’s special analogies to help us see this powerful truth.

When I worked through these I began to see that, although I assented, I never fully grasped the mystery of Jesus indwelling my heart by faith. For instance, when I prayed I sensed Him “beside” me–but not in me. Finally, I asked the Holy Spirit to show me this, as it seemed almost blasphemous for Him to be within me.

“This experience of the indwelling of Christ is one that comes when Christians seek to cultivate deep and abiding love for Christ and his word. It is not a one-time experience or action, but it should continue throughout the life of all believers.”

Martyn Lloyd-Jones 

Growing into this is not to become superior or become elite. The “fruits of the Spirit” must be seen and lived out. We dare not forget the humility of our Savior. We live out His life of brokenness and servanthood.

He lives inside of me.

Galatians 2:20, ERV

Are You Sick and Tired Yet?

Matthew 11:28-30, ESV

Weariness and burdens are our common plight. We all have them. They are shared as sort of common identity, like eye color or hair color. We all have them, and wish we didn’t. Sometimes we feel like shutting down, it seems too much to endure.

Weariness, that bone-tiredness that sleep doesn’t seem to help.

We seem to be chronically fatigued by life and what it brings us. We have heavy burdens, we carry a load that only gets heavier (and never lighter.) I suppose we adapt, and simply learn to carry it. But that wears thin, and weariness always breaks through.

Money problems, bills that are past due, marriages, straying children, cars that need fixing, family problems, job hassles, health problems… the list goes on ad nauseam. There are far too many issues, too many problems. Perhaps boredom and tedium are added to the list. They only intensify the hopelessness. (Its own special kind of suffering.)

Some will choose to ‘self medicate’ with alcohol or drugs.

They want something more, and find they only create more burdens (not less). Some will become hopelessly addicted, never finding relief from their burdens, but only increasing them. Suicide very often is seen as the only way out. It seems that it’s an option.

But Jesus will never condemn (leave that to the Pharisees) but instead offers a sort of amnesty to the burnt-out and the burdened. Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.” Jesus did not say, “Get away from me, I am holy and you are not.” Rather, He makes himself to be the solution to all those whose life has overwhelmed.

He desperately wants our burdens and absorbs all our weariness. He wants us. He wants to give us peace and rest. Often Jesus offers but we’ll refuse.

An easy trade, especially since we are so desperate. Some have evaluated Jesus’ offer and made the transaction–piling up our burdens at His feet. We might be a little hesitant about the “my yoke” part, but will quickly find that discipleship can’t be compared to the weight we once carried for so long.

Biblical discipleship is relatively easy. It only asks that we surrender–For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.” Following Jesus becomes the best way to live. We seem to understand, but unless we commit we will just carry our weight. (But it only gets heavier.)

Here’s a few verses from Isaiah that might help you sort this out:

29 He gives power to the weak
    and strength to the powerless.
30 Even youths will become weak and tired,
    and young men will fall in exhaustion.
31 But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength.
    They will soar high on wings like eagles.
They will run and not grow weary.
    They will walk and not faint.

Isaiah 40:29-31

But you need to deliberately choose. You must decide for yourself–what will you commit to? Will you continue to carry your burden, or will you turn to Jesus?