Category: love

So You Want to Become Vulnerable?

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“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”

 — C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

Public speaking has never been a problem for me. All through high school, Bible college, as a street evangelist– nothing I’ve ever done really has ever been a concern.  But,  I have friends who rather submit themselves to hideous torture then to put themselves in that public position.  They are afraid of the spotlight, feel exposed and just a little too accessible in the lime light.

Becoming vulnerable in love is ‘above and beyond’ the fear of public speaking.  It is almost irrational in the way it takes charge.  We refuse to put out, with the fear of being that accessible.  We will not allow ourselves to become a victim.  But public speaking has nothing on loving someone deeply, because of the risk involved.

Men are the greatest perpetrators of this attitude.  We close ourselves off and keep our hearts protected and safe.  We cannot truly give our hearts away, because we cannot share that which is most intimate (we hate that word!).  I will refuse to become vulnerable to anyone, because of the risk I put myself in. To really “trust,” in deep way, is way too much exposure for us.

Our families cannot understand our emotional coldness.  They think that the problem is their fault.  They struggle to understand.  And we respond to their attempts to accommodate us with skepticism and fear.  We hold back and pathetically attempt to adjust to their efforts.  Selfishness ultimately wins the day.

Lewis reveals that our natural inclination is towards selfishness.  We try to hide and avoid the “nakedness” that love requires.  I am convinced that we will spare no effort to stay safe, becoming invulnerable to another’s inspection.  We wall up ourselves to the risks of love.  But learning to trust is one of life’s most difficult tasks.

Jesus Christ has come, to teach us how to love openly and freely.  He became vulnerable, laying aside his prerogative of being God.  He is teaching us to love like him. We will only truly heal when we risk it all, with our Father, and our brothers and sisters.

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Related articles

Open Doors

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Jesus comes for each man, woman and child.  Every person is precious. Our sin may separate us from others. Jesus Christ seeks every heart. Sin has been dealt with on the cross, completely and surely. We are loved down to the deepest fiber of our being.

Sometimes cultures create categories of sin. But handling sin without the protective gloves of the Holy Spirit will only contaminate us, no matter what the sin. Taking precautions we should help each other find freedom, not condemnation.

The sin maybe adultery, drunkenness, stealing, hatred, or murder. It could be cheating on our income taxes. It could even be homosexuality. But only God’s love can be trusted to forgive and restore us. A repentant heart is all it takes. Why not ask Him to show you how to repent? Jesus told the woman who had committed adultery:

 “No, Lord,” she said. And Jesus said, “Neither do I. Go and sin no more” (John 8:11, NLT).

 

As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ, I declare to you that all sin is forgiven. Return to Him like the Prodigal Son (Luke 15). “We’ll keep the porch light on.”  We look forward to the party of the redeemed heart.

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Accommodating Life

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“How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog—it’s here a little while, then it’s gone.”

James 4:14

The story is told of a man who went to a toy store to buy something suitable for his young son. He looked high and low for something just right; he wanted a gift that would be perfect. Perhaps an educational toy? The sales girl was helpful. She steered him to many different toys, but nothing was what he was looking for. He didn’t want just any toy– he wanted a memory maker, and something that would last.

Then at last he saw a rather plain-looking box. It wasn’t shiny or glossy like some. But the description on it was interesting, and it said it was suitable for ages 5 through 95. That kind of intrigued him and he read the fine print. It seemed to be a puzzle or game of some kind or another. He shook the box and heard the pieces rattle inside. It seemed to captivate him.

The box said that it came unassembled. Parental help was helpful. There also was a statement that the contents were designed to teach a person how to deal with life, and required some diligence and intelligence to put it together. But there in the smallest fine print, “this toy was never intended to be put together perfectly.”

The man realized that this was the ideal gift for his son. It would teach him that life really never can be assembled quite right. There will always be something missing, or a critical flaw. And there is very little we can do about it. Perhaps the most significant lesson learned is “humility.”

That is why we must turn to God. He alone can make our lives work. The father wanted to teach his son that critical lesson. He wanted to prepare him for failure and frustration. Life never works out the way we want it to, and we should accommodate that idea.

“All have been given a box of tools, a formless rock and a book of rules. And each must make in his life, a stumbling block or a stepping stone.” 

~unknown

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12 “In the few days of our meaningless lives, who knows how our days can best be spent? Our lives are like a shadow. Who can tell what will happen on this earth after we are gone?”

Ecclesiastes 6:12

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Our (Eternal) Compulsion

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Strangely compelling. This morning I found waiting for me a series of verses that link with each other. Together they are both irresistible and indispensable. Combined, they form and establish the eternal perspective for the believing Christian. And it is all very real.

Look for what links them. (All verses are from the New Living Translation.).

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“Because I am righteous, I will see you.
When I awake, I will see you face to face and be satisfied.”

Psalm 17:15

“Your eyes will see the king in all his splendor,
and you will see a land that stretches into the distance.”

Isaiah 33:17

 “Father, I want these whom you have given me to be with me where I am. Then they can see all the glory you gave me because you loved me even before the world began!”

John 17:24

“Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.”

1 Corinthians 13:12

“Dear friends, we are already God’s children, but he has not yet shown us what we will be like when Christ appears. But we do know that we will be like him, for we will see him as he really is.”

1 John 3:2

“And they will see his face, and his name will be written on their foreheads.”

Revelation 22:4

Living forever, and being changed irrevocably is the sole privilege of the believer. It’s what we long for– sort of a (good) divine madness that continues to drive us; a splinter in our hearts that we can’t expel. But even if we could, would we?

Eternal life has already started for us; I believe far more awaits.

Ecclesiastes 3:11

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