Category: thoughtful

Sinful Inside

“More than anything else, a person’s mind is evil
and cannot be healed.
Who can understand it?

Jeremiah 17:9, NCV

“Thou, Lord Jesus, art my righteousness, but I am thy sin. Thou hast taken upon thyself what is mine and hast given to me what is thine. Thou has taken upon thyself what thou wast not and hast given to me what I was not.’ Beware of aspiring to such purity that you will not wish to be looked upon as a sinner, or to be one. For Christ dwells only in sinners.”

Martin Luther

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The Bible in its tremendous insight, never ever makes humans to be wonderful creatures. I think we would all volunteer to be that way. We are not. Rather the opposite is quite true. We are manipulators, rascals, liars and sinners. There is not a single iota of evidence that we can become exceptionally kind, loving and holy people in any sense of the word.

Somehow we generate a lot of self-deceit. We trick our own hearts into believing that we are such noble believers. We ignore evidence that would convict us otherwise. The prophet spoke to his generation in Jeremiah 17. He would speak directly to people who thought they were true and good. Jeremiah called this a lie, a serious miscalculation (especially when the opposite was true.)

“The heart is deceitful above all things
and beyond cure.
Who can understand it?”

Jeremiah 17:9, NIV

This is not the way “to win friends and influence people.” So many pastors, priests, elders, and leaders have a desire deep down to be acceptable and relevant. But God says, we are rascals, tricksters, phonies. Something inside is sick. There can be no human remedy. We simply cannot become religious enough to surmount our profound sin (against God and against others).

I must tell you the truth, you’re terminally ill. You are quite sick, in the most essential part of you. As a boy living in Northern Wisconsin, on a farm somewhat. We found one of our dogs killing our chickens. He was a nice dog, quite friendly and very gentle. But when he started in on the chickens my dad decided to intervene. One of the dead chickens was recovered. My father wired that dead chicken to our dogs neck, nice and tight. The dog wore that rotting chicken for several weeks. Finally the dog laid down, foaming and tongue lolling, eyes rolled back– so sick. So Dad cut off the decaying remains.

It’s one of my more vivid memories. The dog would never again chase a chicken, or even think of killing one. But even so, our sin is disgusting to God. We just seem to do evil without considering Him or others we effect. It’s all about us, as we think we can just skate through this “problem” without any issues. But Jeremiah tells us we are rotting inside.

“Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted. “

Matthew 5:3-4, NIV

I suppose this is what it will take. To see ourselves as destitute beggars when it comes to spiritual matters. We very much want to work past this state. We will very often feel that that is Christian discipleship– conquering our deep sin and awful weaknesses. But really, folks, what the Lord really wants is for us to admit our poverty, and be saddened by our sinfulness. We hurt so many.

“Our life is full of brokenness – broken relationships, broken promises, broken expectations. How can we live with that brokenness without becoming bitter and resentful except by returning again and again to God’s faithful presence in our lives.”

–Henri Nouwen

We are a broken lot of confused people, and we have never solved the mystery of our own iniquity. In those rare, fleeting times we step into clarity, we are ashamed and disturbed by what we see. Our awful sin needs a wonderful Savior. Jesus does what we could never do. He has died to destroy our sin.

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Pearl Grey With Jaggedy Edges

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A simple doggerel quickly written down in an inconvenient moment came like a blast, and as soon as it came, it left. I was thinking of the ordinariness of God’s grace, and our apprehension of it. It passes over us, and lest we fail to reach out for it, it will pass us by. We must latch on to it, securing ourself by faith to it’s real presence. I only suppose it will take us to some real ‘impossible’ places.

Pearl grey with jaggedy edges

But with certain hope, we commence

Into it and all that it has for us

(We grasp for all that it has for us)

We take all that He has made for us

Rightfully and truly, surely constant

There is a grace that sustains the weary heart

And a hope that carries us far beyond

this real and precious moment

We rest in this present moment

We rest (and that is the right word)

In the God of the pearl grey

And this jaggedy moment.

 

I am not a poet, so I hope you are not traumatized by my effort, rather you take it for what it is worth. (I’ve got low expectations here). But please, reach out to His grace in whatever is happening in your life right now. He alone loves you as you deserve to be loved. aabryscript

So You Want to Become Vulnerable?

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“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”

 — C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

Public speaking has never been a problem for me. All through high school, Bible college, as a street evangelist– nothing I’ve ever done really has ever been a concern.  But,  I have friends who rather submit themselves to hideous torture then to put themselves in that public position.  They are afraid of the spotlight, feel exposed and just a little too accessible in the lime light.

Becoming vulnerable in love is ‘above and beyond’ the fear of public speaking.  It is almost irrational in the way it takes charge.  We refuse to put out, with the fear of being that accessible.  We will not allow ourselves to become a victim.  But public speaking has nothing on loving someone deeply, because of the risk involved.

Men are the greatest perpetrators of this attitude.  We close ourselves off and keep our hearts protected and safe.  We cannot truly give our hearts away, because we cannot share that which is most intimate (we hate that word!).  I will refuse to become vulnerable to anyone, because of the risk I put myself in. To really “trust,” in deep way, is way too much exposure for us.

Our families cannot understand our emotional coldness.  They think that the problem is their fault.  They struggle to understand.  And we respond to their attempts to accommodate us with skepticism and fear.  We hold back and pathetically attempt to adjust to their efforts.  Selfishness ultimately wins the day.

Lewis reveals that our natural inclination is towards selfishness.  We try to hide and avoid the “nakedness” that love requires.  I am convinced that we will spare no effort to stay safe, becoming invulnerable to another’s inspection.  We wall up ourselves to the risks of love.  But learning to trust is one of life’s most difficult tasks.

Jesus Christ has come, to teach us how to love openly and freely.  He became vulnerable, laying aside his prerogative of being God.  He is teaching us to love like him. We will only truly heal when we risk it all, with our Father, and our brothers and sisters.

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Out of Time

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“So as to live for the rest of the time in the flesh no longer for human passions but for the will of God. 3 For the time that is past suffices for doing what the Gentiles want to do, living in sensuality, passions, drunkenness, orgies, drinking parties, and lawless idolatry.”

1 Peter 4:2-3, ESV (emphasis mine)

“It means you have turned from your own desires and want to obey God for the rest of your life. 3 You have already lived long enough like people who don’t know God. You were immoral and followed your evil desires. You went around drinking and partying and carrying on.”

(CEV)

There is an expectation in the very heart of God that we will move beyond gross sin. Peter reminds the Church that time has run out on them. As redeemed people our options to sin boldly are finished. But I think we all need Peter’s reminder as well.

The Holy Spirit that abides within (if you are a believer) is allergic to sin. It is true that God loves the sinner, but hates the sin that we do. God has not come to some kind of alliance with our disobedience and rebellion. He is called “the Holy Spirit” for a reason.

“My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous.”

1 John 2:1

Imagine a soldier running through an enemy fortification. His goal is to advance without being shot. He will certainly avoid heavy concentration of fire. All his training and effort has prepared him for this moment. Soldiers never go into battle thinking they will only shot once or twice. (He is allergic to lead).

Let us not underestimate the enemy, or the sin that tempts us. However, 1 John 2 stresses that sin should be avoided, but if we do sin, we have Jesus as our advocate. We don’t emphasize the sin, but the Savior who is for us. Jesus stands and intercedes for us, every time we choose to sin.

Let us always seek to be filled with “the Spirit of Holiness“ (a.k.a. the Holy Spirit). This should be a moment-by-moment necessity. He supplies everything, and stints at nothing. Only our pride and self-will can stymie His work. We are completely dependent on Him.

aabryscript