“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”
— C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves
Public speaking has never been a problem for me. All through high school, Bible college, as a street evangelist– nothing I’ve ever done really has ever been a concern. But, I have friends who rather submit themselves to hideous torture then to put themselves in that public position. They are afraid of the spotlight, feel exposed and just a little too accessible in the lime light.
Becoming vulnerable in love is ‘above and beyond’ the fear of public speaking. It is almost irrational in the way it takes charge. We refuse to put out, with the fear of being that accessible. We will not allow ourselves to become a victim. But public speaking has nothing on loving someone deeply, because of the risk involved.
Men are the greatest perpetrators of this attitude. We close ourselves off and keep our hearts protected and safe. We cannot truly give our hearts away, because we cannot share that which is most intimate (we hate that word!). I will refuse to become vulnerable to anyone, because of the risk I put myself in. To really “trust,” in deep way, is way too much exposure for us.
Our families cannot understand our emotional coldness. They think that the problem is their fault. They struggle to understand. And we respond to their attempts to accommodate us with skepticism and fear. We hold back and pathetically attempt to adjust to their efforts. Selfishness ultimately wins the day.
Lewis reveals that our natural inclination is towards selfishness. We try to hide and avoid the “nakedness” that love requires. I am convinced that we will spare no effort to stay safe, becoming invulnerable to another’s inspection. We wall up ourselves to the risks of love. But learning to trust is one of life’s most difficult tasks.
Jesus Christ has come, to teach us how to love openly and freely. He became vulnerable, laying aside his prerogative of being God. He is teaching us to love like him. We will only truly heal when we risk it all, with our Father, and our brothers and sisters.
- Be Vulnerable. (fathomlessmystery.wordpress.com)
- When We Lock Up Our Hearts (singleparentingredeemed.wordpress.com)
- The Vulnerable Heart (lynnesampilo.wordpress.com)
- Ramblings of the Broken (brokenbelievers.com)
- Hear The Rod (brokenbelievers.com)