Tag: mental health

Simply Golden

by Norman Rockwell, 1961

“And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.”

Luke 6:31, ESV — The Golden Rule

 “Here is a simple rule of thumb for behavior: Ask yourself what you want people to do for you; then grab the initiative and do it for them! If you only love the lovable, do you expect a pat on the back? Run-of-the-mill sinners do that.” 

Luke 6:31-32, MSG

Sometimes it seems, I hit the switch, and shut it all down. Essentially, I get wrapped up with one of my favorite sins and soon I turn off my faith, unplugging myself from the wall.  I have a desire to escape from what I see as restrictions that I believe faith brings me.  I want to have fun–I don’t want to pray, or read the Bible.

Actually I can do this subtly.  I just raise the volume of my sinful desires, and try to drown out that still small voice.  I can maintain a holy life for my Christian friends, while I enjoy the pleasures of my favorite sins.  Sins or holiness, I want to go for both– but the reality is I just get one.

There is still a voice that is speaking profoundly. “And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.”  Our particular concepts of Christianity so rarely include this–“the golden rule.”  In my own mind, I diminish this as a little bit antiquated.  I will rarely feel its pinch or pull.  It is never a topic of serious thought or meditation.  It seems that it has become what I call–“an optional truth.”  It is very much real, but it is not connected to me in my daily walk.

Treating others, the very way you want to be treated—do this!  Love other people outrageously and deeply; because you like it when they do this to you.  There is reciprocal action here, a sort of spiritual circle of kindness.  Our vernacular says, “What goes around, comes around.”  And it certainly has a ring of truth in it.

All too often we have a version of Christianity that has had its teeth pulled. We have tamed it, and brought the sharp teeth of the faith under our personal decision-making process.  The wildness of a true faith is domesticated and ‘house-broken.’  And we start the rush to unplug things.  The golden rule gets detached right away.

As I struggle as a mentally ill Christian, it is mandatory that the truth be lifted up in my life.  I can become quite disturbed and manipulated by life’s dealings.  My issues of paranoia and delusion cripple me, or they could become the step-stool for those wonderous things on the shelf of grace.

Dear ones, use your illness to reach for the best, live this and change your world.

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Reign in Me, Again

“I will serve my King with a true heart.”

“The Lord will reign forever and ever.”

Exodus 15:18

” Whatever the Lord pleases, he does,
    in heaven and on earth,
    in the seas and all deeps.”

Psalm 135:6

I am persuaded that Americans simply do not “process” this concept of sovereignty, especially when it’s endowed in a person.  A recent trip to London I observed a deep commitment to the royal crown.  Some people are said to be ‘lactose intolerant;’ I think we are ‘lordship intolerant.’

America is a broad, an open and friendly nation, characteristics worthy of emulation.  But we are also rebellious and arrogant people. Our nation was born out of revolution to a sovereign king.

“O Lord, God of our fathers, are you not God in heaven? You rule over all the kingdoms of the nations. In your hand are power and might, so that none is able to withstand you.”

2 Chronicles 20:6

Jesus reigns and rules the Universe.  There are no competing gods trying to take his place, no competition for his job.  He is the ultimate Sovereign. He is a King (with a capital K,) and he is worshipped as ‘the King of kings.’ Imagine a universe, out of control, without laws, without a ruler. It would be pure anarchy; it would be like hell itself.

Without any apology, the Bible proclaims that God is totally sovereign, ordaining, ruling, and disposing of all things as He will. If He has no control over the universe, then our faith in Him becomes an utter absurdity. It matters if God is in control, or not. It effects everything.

  • Nothing surprises God
  • Nothing is a setback to His plans
  • Nothing can thwart His purposes, and
  • Nothing is beyond His control

“His sovereignty is absolute. Everything that happens is uniquely ordained by God. Sovereignty is a weighty thing to ascribe to the nature and character of God. Yet if He were not sovereign, He would not be God. The Bible is clear that God is in control of everything that happens.”

Joni Eareckson Tada

My heart must change.  I must set aside those American attributes of rebellion and pride. There isn’t room for them. You see, I belong to a new kingdom now, a new King.  He is not in danger of losing His throne– but I am.  And He rules everything in His universe, not with an iron fist, but with an open hand with nail prints for all to see.

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When is Suicide the Solution?

The Contemplative Suicidal

There are times, difficult times when we are maneuvered into a place where we start to think that suicide is an answer.  There is a certain mechanism to it, almost an art, which has a limited “air-time.”.  But I have several suicide attempts to my credit.  Once in a psych ward (and being watched 24/7) I cut my wrists on the broken shards of the clock over my bed.  (Looking back, it was pretty innovative the way I did it.)

I’ve intentionally overdosed a couple of times.  My last effort was to duct tape heavy training weights to drown myself in Kachemak Bay, off a pier.  Numerous times I have slashed my wrists trying very hard to die.

I suppose that for these many attempts there was a distinct and desperate cry for help.  When I went into the cycle of wrist cutting, I did not have a full and an aware understanding of what I was trying to do.  But when I attempt to drown myself, I most definitely did.  Perhaps there is an understanding of the two different concepts of suicidal depression. (But I’ve chosen not to ‘research’ this out.)

Although there is room to be alarmed by the first kind.  There is reason to be mega-concerned with the second approach.  I guess there is kind of a morbid graduation from one phase to the next. (I may speak brazenly, but I know it is a dark thing we talk about.)

To commit suicide is perhaps the ultimate act of vengeance that we can do.

It is final and yet speaks to everyone we’ve ever met  It also is a hard statement to all we used to love.  Family, and friends;  I guess we often can’t inventory or enumerate those we touch.  So many people will be affected by my suicide. I can’t overstate this. There are literally thousands of people who will be rocked by what I have done. I will destroy many when I try to destroy myself.

The pain of the mind of the suicidal depressive is awful.  It saturates all that I think and everything I do.  The suicide person is in a difficult agony.  It’s like being soaked in gasoline and looking around for a match.  There is a fearfulness about it all.  If we were not so enamored by ‘self-murder’ it would shake us to our core.

So very many are on the edge.  It really wouldn’t take much to nudge us over. There must be an understanding that there is a spiritual element to all of this. The enemy of our souls would delight in our destruction.  He salivates over our confusion and lostness.  He is a dark cheerleader in support of our self-destruction.

We must work things out, even with our darkest issues.  We really need to “regrip” and refocus.  Often a good nights sleep and a good meal will incrementally move us through this moment.  This may be trite, but resisting suicidal thinking will often turn on small things like this.

To be honest, patience seems to be the main factor to recovery.  It seldom is a dramatic leap forward.  It seems that certain nuances will push themselves against dark thinking.  As you are led by the Holy Spirit, you will discover exactly how to drive against this strong momentum of the Flesh.  Know this though– the Lord is actively at work on behalf of your loved one.  This should give you a honest peace and assurance.  You will survive, and you will bring Him glory.

For immediate help, call 911. For guidance, call 1-888-NEEDHIM.

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A Blessed Discomfort

Love One Another

What follows is NOT an ordinary, run-of-the-mill blessing.  Some would undoubtedly wish for one, and others anticipating what follows, will skip this blog.  It happens all the time.  But, at distinct times, the Holy Spirit surgically slices through our foggy-ness and illuminates us to ourselves.

May God bless you with discomfort at easy answers,
half truths, and superficial relationships,
so that you may live deep within your heart.

 

May God bless you with anger at injustice,
oppression, and exploitations of people,
so that you may work for justice, freedom, and peace.

 

May God bless you with tears to shed for those
who suffer from pain, rejection, starvation, and war,
so that you may reach out your hand to comfort them
and to turn their pain into joy.

 

And may God bless you with enough foolishness
to believe that you can make a difference in this world,
so that you can do what others claim cannot be done.

–From a Franciscan Benediction

Blessed with discomfort, anger, tears and foolishness.  Too often, we often think our discipleship as a massive undertaking for a personal renovation.  And when that does happen, thank God!   But we must drive this home, spiritual make-overs are not the point of holy living! 

We are directed to engage the world and to hammer away at the lies, in order to free people, under the direct supervision of the Holy Spirit.  When we serve, give, love, we will be surprised to find that our own lives will change, almost as an after-thought. Just maybe, that is what God intends? Maybe.

“And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!’

Matthew 25:40, NLT

 

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