Tag: mental illness

Depression Hurts, [Photo]

They won’t.

Your friends “fingers” might be appreciated, but they can’t lift the darkness. They may want to help you, but they are limited in what they can do. Overcoming depression has to start from the inside, and the Holy Spirit will lead you through this.  The darkness doesn’t always lift, but the Lord’s presence soothes and comforts.

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“For the enemy has pursued my soul;
    he has crushed my life to the ground;
    he has made me sit in darkness like those long dead.”

Psalm 143:3, ESV

“Rejoice not over me, O my enemy;
    when I fall, I shall rise;
    when I sit in darkness,
    the Lord will be a light to me.”

Micah 7:8, ESV

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ybic, Bryan

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“Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.”

Colossians 4:6

“Salt is good, but if it loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again?”

Luke 14:34

 Our distinctiveness for God is first evident in our communication.  The way we talk is the primary way we share; and it’s in the tone we use, the inflection of our voices, the vocabulary we utilize, and the way we articulate.  And all of this is communicated in just a few seconds of time.

We should be aware that when we say something it is instinctively and instantly examined. People, deep within want to know its veracity and authenticity.  But the above list is lacking one vital thing– grace, pieces of it, that break off and sprinkles all over our words and thoughts.  We added it all to our conversations, like salt on ‘french fries’.  This takes a ministry of grace, and we ourselves are made into a direct witness.

But not everyone of us is articulate, or gifted to speak.  But we are all salty!  Each of us has a savory presence of grace.  Every believer has it.  I’ve gotten to know two deaf brothers at my church.  They are sometimes neglected and avoided.  (But I think that is just fear.)  They use a ‘sign language‘ with gestures and hand motions.  They are actually quite articulate.  One of the young men has an opening door to Russia to do evangelism.

I guess I’m a bit taken aback by this.  A man who cannot hear or speak being used by the Holy Spirit in this way.  He jokes about being the ‘first evangelist to the deaf community in Russia’.  He is an inspiration to me.  My issue is with mental illness.  But handicapped people do quite well, they are particularly ‘salty’ and you’ll notice the difference.

Learning to communicate with grace is a lot like learning any foreign language.  My wife and I went to learn Spanish at an institute.  We learned so much I felt I was leaking out my ears.  Learning to speak “Grace” will be a challenge as well.  But we have the promised Holy Spirit.  He is the Helper.  He will show how to speak with grace to every person and situation.

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Making Pain Work for You, [Trials]

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“Then they went back to Lystra, Iconium, and Antioch in Pisidia. 22They encouraged the followers and begged them to remain faithful. They told them, “We have to suffer a lot before we can get into God’s kingdom.”

Acts 14:21-22, CEV

Paul and Barnabas, together are perhaps the most gifted men ever to minister the Gospel.  They have an amazing love for the Church.  They operate out of great difficulty, but the deep work they do, proceeds out of encouragement.  I looked at a dozen or so translations of the Bible–all of them translate this, “encouraged.”  Every single one!

Earlier in chapter 14, we can read about the brutality and ugliness they had to walk through.  It was very bad, beyond belief.  But these two never ever lose their love for the Lord, and for His people.  Their ministry continued to be full of optimism and comfort.  They simply can’t be poisoned by the nastiness and bitterness just days before.

They understand something.  What they have to say (as they minister that comfort) kind of boggles everyone’s thinking.

They said, “We must suffer many things to enter God’s kingdom.”

Comforting and strengthening, isn’t it?  Sometimes when I read this passage I can’t believe what they are saying!  It doesn’t make any sense at all.   I believe there are three things we must process to fully understand these verses.

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1)  What comforts us is not always comfortable.

 I’m slowly coming to the place of accepting pain and sickness as my personal doorway into the Lord’s kingdom.  I know my mental illness has opened an entrance into something wonderful.  My months of being institutionalized in different hospitals has seemed to have filled me with grace, gentleness and love–in other words, the kingdom. At least that is what I think.

2)  What we think is the best way often is not.

No one chooses one’s particular path.  If we could we would all be driving a BMW and our homes would be palaces, we would win the lottery on a regular basis.  Our children would be little angels.  We would never be sick, or have a chronic illness.  But–we can’t enter His kingdom, unless there are trials.  They have to be there, they must.  Somewhere it says,  if we suffer, we will reign.

3)  What we need from our elders and pastors is the truth.

 Often the leadership of the Church keeps this one in the closet.  They communicate very well other subjects that are enjoyable.  And we pressure them to do this, gently and subliminally of course.  And everyone wonders why we don’t mature in our faith.  Paul and Barnabas are tremendous leaders, but they don’t roll things in sugar, and their ministry carries on the sufferings of Jesus.

Often it seems, when God chooses to bless a man or a woman greatly, He will send a trial to prepare them deeply.

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Hearing Voices

 

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I guess I’m in a wandering/wondering frame of mind.  I’ve been hearing voices off and on.  They are clear, distinct and I suppose  rather commanding.  Previously I’ve dealt with ‘tinnitus’, but this is definitely different.  The voices are not incredibly sophisticated–its usually just one or two words.  Quite simple actually.

Perhaps the full reason of why this is a problem,  because I wonder about some sort of ‘mental degradation’.

  • Am I getting worse?
  • Are the ‘voices’ the sign of the end for me?
  • Will they take over?
  • Will I turn into a blathering idiot?
  • Could they be ‘demonic’ or worse?

I have this image of a stark raving crazy guy, hung up on religion and ‘right-wing extremism’, foaming at the mouth and ‘heading for a bunker up in the mountains.’  But I am none of these things.  Maybe that’s why it scares me so.  I cannot relate to any of this, and I don’t want to.  I am not that person. This is not me.

The voices by themselves, not extrapolating their content, are disruptive enough.  They don’t have to be specific, all they have to be is loud and insistent.  It really doesn’t matter if I obey them.  They disrupt me just by speaking. (I hope they never decide to expand their vocabulary!)

I have a new insight to my brothers and sisters who struggle with schizophrenia/bipolar.  Many are on the streets, and they are desperately homeless.   On almost a ‘medieval’ level they battle with dragons.  Sometimes they push back the beastie, and then sometimes they themselves are slammed back.  But no matter what will happen that day, God’s love meets the warrior, and He lifts them up.

Voices.  These are not dredged up, or manipulated.  I definitely do not ‘manufacture’ them.  I certainly not doing this for attention.  But when they do press me (with an order or command) I do know that it is an alien voice, coming from outside of me.   I know the presence of Jesus pushes them away. I call on His name and they flee.

I have to believe, that God is holding on to me with both hands. 

He will not let me slide into the night, alone.  He has determined that darkness will never claim me.  I turn as I can, to look at Him, face-to-face by faith.  “He has come to heal the broken-hearted.  A bruised reed,  He will not break.  A smoking wick, He will not quench” (Isa. 43:3). What an awesome promise! We serve a gentle and protective God.

There may (or may not) be spiritual warfare issues. I believe that there is a magnificent power in the name of Jesus. The blood and the cross are for my protection. I shelter in all He is and all He has done, If anything, they push me toward the Lord Jesus and He protects me.

 

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