Tag: understanding

Hearing Voices

 

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I guess I’m in a wandering/wondering frame of mind.  I’ve been hearing voices off and on.  They are clear, distinct and I suppose  rather commanding.  Previously I’ve dealt with ‘tinnitus’, but this is definitely different.  The voices are not incredibly sophisticated–its usually just one or two words.  Quite simple actually.

Perhaps the full reason of why this is a problem,  because I wonder about some sort of ‘mental degradation’.

  • Am I getting worse?
  • Are the ‘voices’ the sign of the end for me?
  • Will they take over?
  • Will I turn into a blathering idiot?
  • Could they be ‘demonic’ or worse?

I have this image of a stark raving crazy guy, hung up on religion and ‘right-wing extremism’, foaming at the mouth and ‘heading for a bunker up in the mountains.’  But I am none of these things.  Maybe that’s why it scares me so.  I cannot relate to any of this, and I don’t want to.  I am not that person. This is not me.

The voices by themselves, not extrapolating their content, are disruptive enough.  They don’t have to be specific, all they have to be is loud and insistent.  It really doesn’t matter if I obey them.  They disrupt me just by speaking. (I hope they never decide to expand their vocabulary!)

I have a new insight to my brothers and sisters who struggle with schizophrenia/bipolar.  Many are on the streets, and they are desperately homeless.   On almost a ‘medieval’ level they battle with dragons.  Sometimes they push back the beastie, and then sometimes they themselves are slammed back.  But no matter what will happen that day, God’s love meets the warrior, and He lifts them up.

Voices.  These are not dredged up, or manipulated.  I definitely do not ‘manufacture’ them.  I certainly not doing this for attention.  But when they do press me (with an order or command) I do know that it is an alien voice, coming from outside of me.   I know the presence of Jesus pushes them away. I call on His name and they flee.

I have to believe, that God is holding on to me with both hands. 

He will not let me slide into the night, alone.  He has determined that darkness will never claim me.  I turn as I can, to look at Him, face-to-face by faith.  “He has come to heal the broken-hearted.  A bruised reed,  He will not break.  A smoking wick, He will not quench” (Isa. 43:3). What an awesome promise! We serve a gentle and protective God.

There may (or may not) be spiritual warfare issues. I believe that there is a magnificent power in the name of Jesus. The blood and the cross are for my protection. I shelter in all He is and all He has done, If anything, they push me toward the Lord Jesus and He protects me.

 

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Feeding the Dogs, [Choosing Holiness]

A toy I grew up with, they were magnetized pushing against each other.

There is a story of a Native American elder who once described his own inner struggles to understand the Bible and Christianity.

“Inside of me there are two dogs. One is black, and the other is white. The black dog is mean and tries to talk me into making the wrong choices. The white dog is good and encourages me to make the right choices. The black dog fights the white dog all day.” When asked by the friend which dog wins, the elder reflected for a moment and replied;

“The one I feed the most.”

White Dog: As a believing Christian, there is a part of us that is Christ-spirited, compassionate, trusting, open, abundant and focused on helping others. We pray and are being filled with the Holy Spirit.

Black Dog: The other part is our flesh. We can be proud, evil, self-centered, greedy, manipulative, sullen, promiscuous, drunken, and only wants to he served by others.

“An analogy is made between the good white dog, our new nature in Christ, and the bad black dog, our old fallen nature. While we cannot eliminate the old nature, we can choose to feed the white dog.”

(From “The Holy Spirit: Activating God’s Power in our Life,” by Billy Graham 1978.)
 

howlingwolf3-300x281The main key for us to remember is that these two parts are in constant struggle.

Two Scriptures to help: One– “If you use your lives to do the wrong things your sinful selves want, you will die spiritually. But if you use the Spirit’s help to stop doing the wrong things you do with your body, you will have true life.”   Rom. 8:13, NCV

Two– “Our sinful selves want what is against the Spirit, and the Spirit wants what is against our sinful selves. The two are against each other, so you cannot do just what you please.”   Gal. 5:17

In thinking this through this analogy might help.  I’m inclined to think that holiness is not so much like an “on and off” switch.  But I think it’s more like a “dimmer” switch is turned to brighten or darken a room.  I actually think there are times when we should make a deliberate decision for God.  And yet other times we just need to turn up the dimmer from 30% to 80%. Maybe all the way?

I’m just thinking out loud here.

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On Complete Surrender, by A.W. Tozer

“He that taketh not his cross . . . is not worthy of me.”  

Matt. 10:38

 by A.W. Tozer

Many of the great evangelists who have touched the world for God, including such men as Jonathan Edwards and Charles Finney, have declared that the church is being betrayed by those who insist on Christianity being made just a little bit “too easy.”

Jesus, Himself laid down the terms of Christian discipleship, and yet there are some among us who criticize: “Those words of Jesus sound harsh and cruel.”

But this is where we stand: Receiving Jesus Christ into your life means that you have made an attachment to the Person of Christ that is revolutionary, in that it reverses the life and transforms it completely! It is complete in that it leaves no part of the life unaffected. It exempts no area of the life of the total man and does demand nothing but all.

By faith and through grace, you have now formed an exclusive relationship with your Savior, Jesus Christ. All of your other relationships are now conditioned and determined by your one relationship to your Savior.  He must be preeminent.

To receive Jesus Christ, then, is to attach ourselves in faith to His holy person, to live or die, forever! He must be first and last and all!

A very basic prayer that you might simply offer,

“Lord, Your call upon my life is total. But there are times when I feel pulled in other directions that may not be pleasing to You. Give me grace and strength to keep You in first place in my life.  Amen.”

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From the “Mornings with Tozer,” by A. W. Tozer. For devotionals like this one for your iPhone, visit the 43rdElement.com. Broken Believers also posts Tozer’s Daily Devotions everyday in the right column of our front page. You’ll find Rev. Tozer will build your faith and give you a more certain assurance.
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Our Trip to Emmaus With Jesus

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“By this time they were nearing Emmaus and the end of their journey. Jesus acted as if he were going on, 29 but they begged him, “Stay the night with us, since it is getting late.” So he went home with them.”

Luke 24:29, NLT

I’m continuing to think about these guys on the road to Emmaus.  There is an intense desire of theirs to bring Jesus in to them and off the streets.  They only have a partial understanding of Jesus,  but they do have sense enough to invite Him into a comfortable place.  This was really out of the ordinary.  Afterall, He was just an agreeable traveller.

But the sentiment was strong.  They went really out of the way, and they began to insist.  And He finally consented.  There are times when we feel strong about a thing, and we find we are doing things out of the ordinary.

These two men discerned much.  They understood that night was coming.  They also understood Jesus’ need for food and shelter.  The day was dwindling down.  He could not continue on His own.  So they made room, and they opened up their lives to Him.  And never has there been such a guest.  Oh, but what blessed friendship He brings us.  We thrive and grow under His rays.  He brings us much more then we could ever give Him.

“As they sat down to eat, he took the bread and blessed it. Then he broke it and gave it to them. 31 Suddenly, their eyes were opened, and they recognized him. And at that moment he disappeared!”

Luke 24:30-31

Jesus finally ‘undresses Himself’ .  He reveals who He really is, and these men rock back in their chairs.  Scripture says ‘that their eyes were opened’.  That took a supernatural work.  It is at this moment that Jesus disappeared.  He was gone, He just vanished from them.

“They said to each other, “Didn’t our hearts burn within us as he talked with us on the road and explained the Scriptures to us?”

(v. 32.)

They were left with memories of a ‘burning heart’.  Jesus Christ had left a deep imprint, and these two men would always ‘nurse’ these memories of a long dusty walk with the resurrected Jesus.  They would, from on then, think about these fleeting moments, when they were so close, and yet missed Him who decided to take a walk with them in the bright Judean sunlight.

It is imperative that we remember our times with Jesus. When He reveals Himself to us, we will never be the same.

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