Category: affliction

Memories Haunt in the Light

jesus-light-of-the-world

For many who have struggled with depression, as I have, often suffer from an underlying brokenness that stems from past tragedies that we can’t seem to completely forget. We try to understand why and pray for forgetfulness that never seems to come. But even so, when we know Jesus as our Savior the Light is never extinguished.

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Memories Haunt in the Light

I stand upon the solid Rock
I’ve found my firm foundation
Living each day in the Light
Being sure of my salvation

I know His words of grace are true
‘Cause I feel them deep in my heart
I rise each day, out into the world
And that’s when the memories start

The sky is blue, the sun is bright
A chill wind stings my face
I should be happy and light, but cold
Triggers thoughts I seem to chase

Like Paul with his thorn, I pray the Lord
Would remove the pain today
“My grace is sufficient,” He replies
As over and over I cry and pray

But what if grace is not enough
As this memory haunts the light
This is when I must trust and believe
To escape the darkness of night

He uses this memory of pain
To teach me compassion and grace
For the bruised and the broken
Haunted by memories of disgrace

He’s made me merciful and kind
This lesson is not meant to destroy
But some days I’d rather be less caring
And remember only love and joy

My Rock remains firm beneath me
In spite of my doubt and fury
His grace will suffice, I rest in His Light
One day this memory He’ll bury

aasignLinda

My Faithful Savior

Many things in this life are uncertain, causing even the faithful to struggle and doubt. Even at such times, or maybe even more so then, I am thankful that God has promised that He will never leave me or forsake me.

I am reminded of the words of the Apostle Paul:

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
2 Corinthians 4:16-18 (NIV).

When times are tough, may this triolet remind you of your faithful Savior Jesus.

My Faithful Savior

My faithful Savior will always be near
In my struggles and pain, when I doubt
that anything will ever change
My faithful Savior will always be near

I know someday He will exchange
the tears I cry for a glorious crown
My faithful Savior will always be near
In my struggles and pain, when I doubt

aasignLinda

Yearning for Sonship

InnerStruggle

The world is an intensely flawed place. Nothing is as it should be, yet. Our hope is in God”s will to recast it a new heavens and new earth. The Lord has started to redeem it, commencing with us.

Things aren’t in order yet. But they will be very soon. We pray, “thy kingdom come, thy will be done.” This earnest prayer echoes and resounds in heaven. It is the believer’s heart-cry. It is our dream. Soon– but not yet.

22 “We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. 23 Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies. 24 For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? 25 But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.”

Romans 8:22-25, NIV

We add our groans to a creation already groaning. We lament together with the cry of a woman giving birth. It is a holy agony. But the contractions have started, and soon there will be a new birth.

 “As we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship” is our passion– it is what we are waiting for. I suppose this is at the core of our faith– sonship. And to walk out of this present darkness as whole men and women, cloaked in the Father’s holy glory.

As a man who struggles with mental illness here I am. I deal with this everyday. The meds, the hopelessness, and the depression. I have to be reminded that this is temporary, and that I will be redeemed completely. I will not be bipolar forever. My shuffling and scootching will get me to my goal eventually. I trust Him implicitly.

Brokenbeliever, don’t lose hope. Hold on to the faith that will fully redeem you. It won’t be long now.

aabryscript

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A Case of Exceptional Goodness

“He wouldn’t do it. He said to his master’s wife, “Look, with me here, my master doesn’t give a second thought to anything that goes on here—he’s put me in charge of everything he owns. He treats me as an equal. The only thing he hasn’t turned over to me is you. You’re his wife, after all! How could I violate his trust and sin against God?”

 “She pestered him day after day after day, but he stood his ground. He refused to go to bed with her.”

Genesis 39:9-10, MSG

Joseph is a blazing star in the Old Testament.  Everything he does is remarkable. He carries this exceptionalism into all that he does, or directs.  He realizes the blessing he has been given.  He can easily describe his status– and he is quite aware of the deep presence that overshadows his life.  He will not pretend that any of this has come about as a result of his personal giftedness or goodness.

Joseph refuses to negotiate, for he knows who he is, exactly.  First, he is not Potiphar. He cannot make it seem otherwise.  The amazing things that have come upon Potiphar’s life, belong to him, and him alone.  Joseph has a sure understanding of this fact, and he does not try to blur the issues, no matter how “sweet and cute” the possibilities. He just says “no!”

When we look to Joseph, we find that he has retreated into a special place of protection.  For a man, there is a deep attraction for sexual conquest and pleasure. Joseph has processed this, way before us. And he is not enticed by this lie.  (And my friend, it is a lie.)

Joseph is a wonder.  He is full of grace and a certain goodness.  From him, we can fully understand a heart that is set apart by an exceptional sweetness. Joseph has a certain kindness and goodness.  He responds to all that is evil, with a greatness, and a complete awareness of what is right.

In our scriptural selection, we see clearly the effort that the wife of Potiphar’s wife made to seduce Joseph.  However, her lust will not direct his life.  He will not give in to his deep desires.  He simply refuses to enter into the seduction issues of an out-of-control passion.  He won’t be controlled by lust.

When we look directly at Joseph, we see a man who has chosen a deep path of faithfulness. He has separated himself from a difficult darkness.  He now is a real and definite example for us who must endure a deep testing of our own.  The darkness we face is especially crafty and exceptionally black.  We can only really trust in His promise to cover and sustain us. And to learn to say no!

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